In this short video I explain how I use Emotion-Focused Therapy online to help you calm the crisis and understand the feelings driving it, from your own home.
You can also send me an email
EFT online couples therapy is focused, emotion-based help for couples who speak English and live anywhere in the world. We meet by video, so you can take part from home, together in one room or from two different places.
I help you both slow down the argument, reach the fear, hurt or longing underneath it and answer each other in a way that can be heard.
You can book a session with me, read my client policy or contact me directly. Times are shown in your own time zone.
These reviews describe clients’ experiences of working with me. They come from my wider practice and do not all relate to online sessions. Each person’s experience is their own, and a review does not promise a particular outcome.
I am Mark Colclough, MA. I have practised since 2004 and offer online psychotherapy and couples therapy in English.
My training brings together your emotions, your thoughts and your relationships. My deep passion is the moment when what happens between you finally makes sense, to each of you and to each other. I have lived and worked in nine countries, so I know something of life across languages, cultures and borders.
Read about my background, or explore online psychotherapy and online couples therapy.
I meet regularly with experienced psychotherapists to reflect on my work, question my understanding and develop my skills. Supervision is part of the professional care I bring to individual and couples work, including online sessions.
My focus is thoughtful practice, integrity and responsibility.
You are welcome to ask about the kind of support you need.
Tell me where you are based and your time zone. We can then consider whether online sessions together are suitable.
You both want to reach each other, but the feelings between you have grown stronger than your ability to stay close.
This is for you when fear, anger, hurt or silence is steering every conversation. You do not have to reach a breaking point first. If your relationship feels unsafe, distant or impossible to talk about without a fight, that is reason enough to start.
I have worked with couples since 2004. Couples in crisis rarely need better arguments. They need help with what is happening underneath them. I will help you find the pattern between you, slow it down and help each of you say what the other has stopped being able to hear.
It is time for help when arguments go on long after either of you can think clearly, when the same fight keeps coming back, or when silence feels as hostile as shouting. Perhaps you choose every word with care, stay away from home, lose sleep or try to carry on while the relationship takes over your thoughts.
I help you separate the thing that sets you off from the cycle that keeps it growing. Together we look at what needs to be held, what needs to be said and what cannot be settled while one of you is overwhelmed. If this already affects your daily life, book a session with me instead of waiting for the next blow-up.
You can both long for closeness and still react in ways that push it away. One of you may push for an answer while the other feels flooded and pulls back. Each attempt to protect yourself then confirms the other person’s worst fear.
I help you see this as a pattern you share, while each of you stays responsible for your own behaviour. We find out what each reaction is protecting and build a new way of reaching out, pausing and answering.
A silence, a delay in replying or a change in your partner’s tone can feel like proof that the bond is slipping away. You may ask for answers, need reassurance again and again, or be unable to settle until you feel connected again.
I help you reach the fear and longing behind the urgency and share them without pressure or blame. Needing closeness is not the problem. The work is to ask for it in a way your partner can take in.
Strong emotion can feel intrusive, draining or impossible to answer correctly. You may go quiet, stick to facts or keep your distance because pulling away feels like the only way to stay in control.
I help you understand what the distance protects and how it lands on your partner, which is often very different from what you intend. You learn to name your limits, stay present where you can and come back before space turns into abandonment.
You may urgently look for closeness and then push it away the moment it arrives. The shifts between pleading, anger, withdrawal and numbness can happen so fast that neither of you knows what just happened.
I slow these shifts down and help you find the feeling underneath each protective move. Understanding does not remove responsibility. It gives you both enough safety to respond in a steadier way.
You may no longer know whether you want to repair the relationship, leave it or simply make the pain stop. Betrayal, repeated fights or long periods of distance can make every option feel frightening. You may also have adjusted so much to the crisis that you have lost touch with your own limits and values.
I offer direction and honest challenge, but I will not decide your future for you. Together we make clear what has happened, what each of you is willing to take responsibility for and what would make repair realistic. The goal is a decision you make with open eyes, not pressure to stay together at any price.
If you are in the middle of a crisis now, request a call or book a session, so we can agree what kind of support you need first.
You can also send me an email
Tell me briefly what kind of support you are looking for.
Include your country and time zone so we can discuss whether online work together is possible and find a suitable time.
You do not need to explain your whole story in your first message.
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Understanding the crisis is a start. Real change comes when you both respond differently in the moments that matter.
I will help you recognise the pattern driving the crisis, understand what each of you is protecting and practise new responses that let you reach each other. Insight only matters when it changes what happens between you.
I take an active, structured role. I slow down harmful exchanges, help you find the experience underneath them and ask both of you to take your share of responsibility for a safer relationship.
I help you tell the core hurt apart from the arguments and defensive reactions around it. Betrayal, fear of being left, shame or long loneliness may be driving a fight that seems to be about something small.
I bring clarity by naming what is urgent, what each reaction protects and where real contact is still possible. You get my professional view, so you are not left alone with two competing stories. When you are ready, book an online session with me.
Yes. You can learn to spot the first signs of the cycle before either of you starts shouting, chasing, withdrawing or shutting down. Seeing it earlier gives you a moment in which a different response is possible.
Together we map what happens first, which feeling becomes unbearable and which protective move follows. You practise slowing the sequence down and coming back to the issue in a way your partner can hear.
Yes, but being open is not the same as saying everything at full volume. It helps to know what you are really trying to say, and what fear, shame or old resentment has added to it.
I help you move from blame towards the hurt, need or longing underneath it. I will challenge both keeping quiet and lashing out. The aim is to reach each other, not to win.
Defensiveness often starts before either of you has understood what is being asked. A wish for reassurance can sound like criticism, and a need for space can sound like rejection.
I help you hear the feeling inside the protective words and answer it without giving up your boundaries. You both stay responsible for speaking in a way that makes an answer possible.
Repair takes more than an apology. The hurt partner needs to feel understood, and the other partner needs to stay present, take responsibility and listen without rushing to defend themselves.
I guide this step by step. We make clear what happened, what it meant to each of you and what actions, repeated over time, are needed before safety and trust can return.
A more secure relationship needs changes between sessions too. You may need clearer boundaries, more responsiveness, new ways of handling conflict and protected time to really be with each other.
I help you agree what needs to change and how you will notice that it is changing. The goal is not to go back to how things were, but to build a relationship in which you can both stay present and reachable.
You can also send me an email
You do not need the right words before we meet. I start with the crisis you are in now and the feelings neither of you can carry alone.
I begin by listening to you both, naming the crisis you are in and mapping the pattern between you. You do not need to tell me your whole history before we can do useful work.
If one of you needs space of your own, I may suggest online psychotherapy with me. When you need steady work beyond the crisis, ongoing online couples therapy with me is the natural next step. You can read about fees on my prices page, and with a prepaid session bundle you save 10% and get the security of a set plan.
We meet by video at a time that suits your time zone. I ask what brought you to this point, what each of you fears and what happens just before things turn harmful. I make sure both of you are heard, without letting the session become another argument.
Before we finish, I give you a first picture of the pattern between you and clear priorities for what needs to change first. You leave knowing what we are working on and where the work is heading.
Individual work makes sense when trauma, shame, anxiety or long-held protective habits keep one of you from staying present in the couples work.
I may suggest individual online psychotherapy with me, so that this gets the attention it needs. It is never used to build a case against your partner.
The work should continue when the crisis has calmed but old hurts, broken trust or the pattern between you still need steady attention.
You can carry on with ongoing online couples therapy with me. Calming the emergency matters, but it is not the same as healing the relationship.
During an active crisis, regular sessions keep the work moving. Long gaps let the same cycle build up again before you have had time to practise something new.
I will suggest the pace I think your situation needs. That could be a longer first session, sessions close together or a planned move into regular couples therapy. I will also tell you when it is safe to meet less often.
A planned course makes sense when the pattern between you is clear and you both need protected time to practise a new way of responding.
Booking several sessions ahead gives you continuity and the security of knowing when we meet next. With a prepaid session bundle you save 10% and get the security of a set plan. I only suggest it when it serves a clear purpose for you.
It has done its job when the crisis is calm enough for you to think, talk and decide without being pulled back into the same emergency again and again. That does not mean every issue in your relationship is solved.
I review progress with you openly and will not encourage you to stay longer than you need. You may stop, meet less often or continue with longer-term work. Coming back later with something new does not mean the work failed.
It is couples therapy based on Emotion-Focused Therapy, held by video in English. It helps when painful feelings and protective reactions have taken over your relationship.
I help you slow the cycle, reach the hurt, fear or longing underneath it and find responses that bring you back in contact.
Reach out when strong emotions, repeated fights or withdrawal make ordinary conversation impossible and your relationship needs help now.
You do not need to wait for a final break. In my work with couples since 2004, I have seen how quickly an untreated pattern sets in.
Yes. EFT can help you contain the impact of a betrayal and reach the fear, grief, shame and anger around it.
I will not rush forgiveness. I help you build accountability, real understanding and the repeated actions needed before trust can begin to return.
Yes, as long as you can both take part honestly enough to understand what the doubt means.
I will not pressure either of you to stay. I help you find out whether leaving is a settled decision, a way to escape unbearable feelings or a call for change that has not been heard.
Yes. This is one of the most common patterns EFT works with. Fear can make one partner chase contact, while feeling overwhelmed makes the other step back.
I help you both reach the feeling under those reactions and take responsibility for sharing it in a way the other can take in.
For most couples, yes. You join from a quiet, private place, either together on one screen or from two separate places. Many couples find it easier to open up from home.
If you live in or near Copenhagen and prefer to meet face to face, sessions in person at my practice are also possible. Just ask.
You can book a session or request a free 30 minute call first if you have questions.
One session can give you direction, but a fresh hurt or a well-worn pattern usually needs continuity.
I review progress with you openly and tell you whether I suggest more focused sessions, a planned course or a move into longer-term couples work.
Start together when the relationship itself is the focus and you can both take part safely.
Separate sessions may be right when one of you first needs privacy to work on trauma, boundaries or a personal decision. I will help you choose what fits.
You can see current fees on my prices page, and the total is shown before you confirm a booking. Fees are in US dollars. Payment is by invoice or, where offered, by card.
You can save 10% with a prepaid bundle of sessions. See my therapy discounts page.
Book an EFT online couples therapy session and tell me briefly what has happened and what feels most urgent. Times are shown in your own time zone.
If none of the available times fit how urgent things feel, contact me directly.
You can also send me an email
I want therapy to help you understand your experience and make choices you can use in everyday life. We pay attention to feelings, needs and the responses that happen before you have time to think.
Our online room should offer enough trust and honesty to explore what is difficult. I bring attention and professional judgement. You bring your experience, questions and the right to say when something does not fit.
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P.S. I’ll call you in a bit!
