In this short video, I explain why stress is so often about the rules you live by rather than the size of your diary, and what we look at first when we meet online.
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Online stress therapy helps you when your days demand more than you can supply, and the shortfall is being paid in sleep, health and patience. Each appointment is a 1-hour video session with 50 minutes of therapy for you alone, in English, at an hour that works in your time zone, from your home or a quiet office.
We take stock of the whole load, ask why you keep shouldering it, and sort the pressure the world puts on you from the pressure you put on yourself. After that, we turn to concrete shifts: proper rest, firmer limits and a load you have actually agreed to. It is a main branch of my online psychotherapy, with narrower pages beneath it for burnout, perfectionism and imposter syndrome, should one of those describe your strain more precisely.
Next steps are simple: a free 30-minute call, a first video session, a look at my client policy, or a short message to me.
Online stress therapy is for English-speaking adults, anywhere in the world, who are holding it together by a thread and know it cannot last. A job, children, ageing parents, a relocation: the demands keep stacking. You would like to understand your own part in the overload and build a week you can actually live in.
Pressure has close relatives, and a few of them deserve their own focused work. If one of these describes you better, the linked page is a more accurate place to start.
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These reviews describe clients’ experiences of working with me. They come from my wider practice and do not all relate to online sessions. Each person’s experience is their own, and a review does not promise a particular outcome.
“In my clinical experience, stressed people almost always believe the problem is the size of the load, and I think that is only half the truth. The other half is a rule they carry, often from childhood, that says rest must be earned and needs must wait. Under the strain I hear one voice pleading ‘Will anyone notice how much I am holding?’ and another insisting ‘Just leave me to sort it out myself.’ Many people swing between both in a single day, ‘Help me, but do not interfere.’ Until we find that rule and question it, every freed-up hour simply fills again.”
Mark Colclough, MA, psychotherapist and EFT couples therapist
I am Mark Colclough, MA. I have practised since 2004 and offer online psychotherapy and couples therapy in English.
My training brings together your emotions, your thoughts and your relationships. My deep passion is the moment when what happens between you finally makes sense, to each of you and to each other. I have lived and worked in nine countries, so I know something of life across languages, cultures and borders.
Read about my background, or explore online psychotherapy and online couples therapy.
I meet regularly with experienced psychotherapists to reflect on my work, question my understanding and develop my skills. Supervision is part of the professional care I bring to individual and couples work, including online sessions.
My focus is thoughtful practice, integrity and responsibility.
You are welcome to ask about the kind of support you need.
Tell me where you are based and your time zone. We can then consider whether online sessions together are suitable.
Nora is 42, a Norwegian lawyer in Dubai with 2 young children and a mother who has just moved into a care home in Bergen. She runs the school pickup rota, chairs a client call with London after bedtime and phones the care home on her lunch break. Last month she cried in a supermarket queue because the card machine was slow. Her husband says she is never really in the room. She keeps waiting for a quieter quarter that never arrives.
With Nora, I would start at the supermarket checkout, with the moment her body said what she has not. In a first video session she would probably notice that she was the eldest daughter who kept the household calm, and that she still treats every problem within reach as hers to solve.
I have presented this clinical example as a compound of 22 years of clinical practice.
You have reorganised, delegated and tried to rest, and the pressure keeps finding its way back in.
Nobody has to earn a place in stress therapy. The sense that your life costs more than you have is enough. You do not need a diagnosis, a breakdown or a doctor’s note before we meet. In 22 years of practice I have worked with many people under heavy pressure, and I can tell when a demanding stretch has turned into a pattern that will not ease by itself.
I will help you see what is happening, what keeps the pressure in place and what has to change. See whether the pressure in your own week shows up in the 6 questions that follow.
Treat that as information, not weakness. Monday starts tired, Wednesday feels like Friday and the weekend goes on errands. You forget appointments, lose your keys, reread emails three times and still miss what they say. Your body keeps score in sore shoulders and broken sleep.
I would look at how long it has been like this, what has piled up and where the stress comes from. That tells us whether this is a heavy season or a way of living that needs to change. If you recognise this, book a session with me and we will start mapping it.
Both can be true, because each is guarding something. One side of you dreams of long walks and an empty diary. Another part keeps pushing, because stopping feels like letting people down, falling behind or facing feelings that busyness keeps away.
I do not side with one part against the other. Drawing on psychosynthesis, I help you listen to the tired part and the driving part as two voices within you, each with a reason. Once you understand what each one protects, you can slow down by choice rather than by collapse.
When rest feels unsafe, you may scan constantly for signs that you have disappointed someone. A short email from your manager, a tired look from your partner or a missed school message can set off a wave of worry, and you work harder to put it right.
There is nothing silly about wanting your efforts to count. What I help you change is the alarm that turns every gap into failure. We look at where the fear of not being enough first took hold, and you practise asking directly how you are doing instead of guessing.
Yes, and it can frustrate everyone. You tell your partner you are drowning, then redo the task they took over. You ask a colleague to share the load, then check everything they do. Wanting support and fearing its cost can sit side by side.
In our sessions I slow this pattern down so we can see the moment help starts to feel like a threat, perhaps to your control, your competence or your place in the family. I have compassion for that reflex, and I will also ask you to notice how it leaves the people who try to help feeling shut out.
When you are already full, one more request can feel like too much. You go quiet, become curt, retreat into your phone or make yourself unavailable. It is not that you do not care. It is that there is nothing left to give.
My view is that the shutdown is protecting you, and needing space is nothing to feel ashamed of. I help you understand what the retreat guards against, so you can set a limit before you go silent. You learn to say “I cannot take that on this week” instead of disappearing.
After years of being the one who manages, you may know your roles better than yourself. Employee, parent, adult child, partner: each comes with a list. Somewhere along the way, what you enjoy, what you want and who you are outside of duty went quiet. That is the cost of long adaptation, not a sign that something is missing.
I help you see which demands you chose, which were handed to you and which you inherited from a family where coping was the rule. I will challenge you when you reduce yourself to your usefulness, but I will not impose a new identity. What we aim for is a life whose shape you chose.
If these questions sound like your week, a free call gives you space to talk it through, and a session lets you start working on it straight away.
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Tell me briefly what kind of support you are looking for.
Include your country and time zone so we can discuss whether online work together is possible and find a suitable time.
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Understanding why you overload yourself matters, but the work also has to change how you plan, rest and say no.
Working on stress with me will help you see what is happening, recognise the patterns that keep the pressure high and make changes you notice in your actual week. Understanding why you take on so much is useful. It only helps when something in your diary and your responses starts to shift.
Across 22 years of practice I have learned that stressed people do not need another passive listener. I will guide you, name what I see and challenge the beliefs that keep you running. Here are 6 questions that mark out our goals.
Related reading: Why can’t I switch off from worrying about work? and Why does rest no longer fix how tired I am?.
First I help you tell the source of the pressure from its side effects. A full inbox and poor sleep are real, but they often sit on top of something else: a rule that you must never let anyone down, a fear of being ordinary, or a family role you have never questioned.
I will tell you what I think is happening, what to tackle first and which explanations keep you stuck. When you are ready, book a session with me and we will separate the load you must carry from the load you have taken on.
You can learn to notice the moment just before the automatic yes. There is often a small tightening, a rush of guilt or a thought like “it will be quicker if I do it.” Seeing that moment gives you room to pause and choose.
Together we replay that automatic yes in slow motion and ask what it shields you from. Noticing is only the start. We practise a different answer, such as “let me check and come back to you”, until you can use it at work without thinking.
Calming down does not mean pretending the pressure is not there or forcing yourself to relax. It means staying awake to what is going on in you, so you choose your next move rather than letting adrenaline choose it.
I help you notice the build-up earlier, often first in your breath, your jaw or your stomach, and understand what your nervous system is reacting to. Between sessions I will ask you to practise short daily pauses, because a calmer body is built in your week and not only in our hour.
Setting a limit begins with knowing what you can realistically give and what you need. Many stressed people stay silent until resentment builds, then snap, or over-explain and apologise until the limit dissolves.
Together we find a way of saying no that is plain, kind and the right size for the situation. I challenge self-silencing, and also the hope that others will notice you are overloaded without being told. We often rehearse a real conversation with a manager, a partner or a parent abroad.
Choices get easier once you separate fear, obligation and other people’s expectations from what you actually value. Under stress everything feels urgent, so you keep it all and nothing gets your full attention.
I help you look honestly at what each commitment costs and gives you. You get my clear view, and I will say so when I see you avoiding a hard choice, but the decision is yours. If the pressure mostly comes from your own standards, online perfectionism therapy goes further.
Lasting change has to reach beyond our sessions into your calendar, your evenings and your relationships. You may need firmer limits at work, a different share of tasks at home, real breaks and a few things in your week that are just for you.
I help you decide what to change and what to protect. Your drive and sense of responsibility are strengths, and they are not the enemy. The aim is a life in which effort serves what you value, rather than a life run by pressure.
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There is no need to arrive with a theory of your stress. Bring the week you have just had, and we work from there.
From the opening session I pay close attention, find the pressure point with you and set a clear course. Your current week is where we start.
Within my online psychotherapy, structured individual work on your inner life and relationships, stress has its own focused strand. Where the tension is mostly between you and your partner, and both of you will join, online couples therapy offers long-term relational development and healing. When you know the work will take several sessions, a therapy bundle gives you real savings and a structured plan you do not have to renegotiate.
At our first meeting I want to hear why now, where your body holds the pressure, which fixes have failed and what a better month would look like. We do not need your full history yet.
Before we end, I give you my first understanding and suggest a direction. You then decide whether my approach seems useful. If you would like to speak first, book a free 30-minute call.
Individual work fits when the pressure lives mainly in you: in your rules, your history, your body and the way you manage work and relationships. Every part of your life can be explored without anyone else joining.
I give you direction, continuity and honest challenge from session to session. When the pressure is tangled up with other questions, online psychotherapy explains how my structured individual work takes in the wider picture.
Couples therapy is the better route when the relationship itself needs sustained attention. If most of the strain comes from arguments at home, an unfair split of the load, broken trust or one partner pushing while the other withdraws, working together usually helps more.
In couples work I help you both see the cycle between you, own your share and find steadier ways of working as a team. Online couples therapy is long-term relational development and healing, and a partner can always be invited later if your own sessions show the strain is shared.
The right rhythm depends on how heavy the pressure is, how much room your week has and how much continuity the change needs.
I usually recommend weekly or fortnightly sessions at first, booked as fixed appointments you protect. I will tell you honestly when the gaps are too long, and when we can space things out. For people who travel or work in rotations, sessions can also be placed back-to-back over a few days.
A bundle suits you when you already expect several sessions and want continuity rather than a fresh decision each time. Stressed people are quick to cancel the one hour that is just for them. Committing in advance protects it.
With a bundle, every stress session costs less, and the shape of the work is settled before the busy months arrive. The options are set out on therapy discounts and bundles and in the bundle cards on this page.
Therapy has done its job when you have more say over your load, clearer limits and real rest, and when the pressure no longer runs your life. Busy weeks will still come, but they will pass.
I review progress openly and do not keep you in therapy for its own sake. Sessions can thin out, pause or end once the work has served its purpose. Returning later, after a new job or a move, is sensible rather than a sign of failure.
Wondering if this is the right door? These are the neighbouring options that overloaded people tend to weigh.
| Option | Choose it when | Pace |
|---|---|---|
| Online stress therapy (this page) | You are still coping, but the load is costing your health, sleep or relationships. | Weekly or fortnightly 1-hour video sessions |
| Online burnout therapy | You have already crashed or been forced to stop. | Video sessions close together at first |
| Online anxiety therapy | Worry and dread are there even when life is quiet. | Weekly 1-hour video sessions at first |
| Online depression therapy | You feel flat or hopeless more than overloaded. | Weekly 1-hour video sessions at first |
It is one-to-one video psychotherapy, in English, for adults carrying more than they can sustain and feeling it physically and emotionally. It looks at both the outer load and the inner rules that make you take on so much.
I work in depth with the whole person, including your body, your history and what you learned in your family about coping. It is a main branch of my online psychotherapy, with focused pages for burnout, perfectionism and imposter syndrome.
Get in touch once the pressure starts taking things from you, like sleep, health or kindness, or once the promised quieter month has failed to arrive more than once. If part of you knows you cannot keep going like this, take that seriously.
I look at how long the strain has lasted, how your body is responding and what you have given up to keep up. In 22 years of practice I have seen that people tend to come only after a crash. Coming earlier usually means the work is shorter.
A lot. Therapy cannot shrink your workload, but it can change how you carry it, what you agree to and how you protect your rest. I will not promise that the pressure disappears, and I will not hand you a quick formula.
In my clinical experience, even people with very demanding lives have more room than they think, once they see which demands are fixed and which come from inside. We look at both, and at the price you are currently paying.
Because normal does not mean harmless. Long-term stress affects your sleep, health, mood and relationships, and it often has roots that time management cannot reach. It is a perfectly good reason to seek help.
I treat stress as something that tells us about your life and your inner rules, not as a weakness. If you have already crashed, online burnout therapy is the more specific place to begin.
Because both are ways of trying to stay in control. Some people say yes to everything and look for reassurance that they are doing well. Others go silent, push people away and handle it all alone. Many swing between the two. It is how you learned to cope, not a defect in you.
Together we map your two modes, what each guards and what each costs the people around you. Then we build steadier options, such as asking clearly for help and setting limits without vanishing.
We start with your week. I ask where the pressure comes from, how your body carries it, what you have tried and what you want to change. Before the hour is up, I will tell you what I see in your pattern and where I would suggest we start.
No homework beforehand. Many stressed people arrive between two meetings with no time to think, and that is a fine place to begin. Book your first session or have a free 30-minute call first.
Plan for a focused course of sessions over a few months. Within that time most people grasp their pattern and change something real in their load. Stress tied to long-standing rules or a family role usually needs longer.
My 22 years of practice have taught me to agree a defined first block with stressed clients, then take stock together. At that point you choose whether to keep going, reduce the rhythm or stop.
For most people, yes, and it often makes therapy possible at all. There is no travel time to add to an already full day, and you can keep going when you change jobs, cities or countries.
Have a door you can close, a headset and decent internet ready. Do not take the call between meetings with your inbox open. Treat it as protected time. The calendar shows each slot in your local time, and we can sort practical questions on a free call.
Each stress session is a 1-hour video booking that gives you 50 minutes of individual psychotherapy. The current rates for stress work, in US dollars, sit on my prices page.
If you plan a course, a therapy bundle saves you 10 per cent per session and gives you a structured plan that is harder to cancel when work gets busy. The options are listed under therapy discounts and bundles.
Choose a time in my calendar, or book a free 30-minute call if you would like to talk first. All times appear in your own time zone.
If no time fits, or things have reached a point where you need help within days, write to me. I hold some room for acute cases, and acute online psychotherapy explains how that works. Then book the hour, and keep it.
You can also send me an email
I want therapy to help you understand your experience and make choices you can use in everyday life. We pay attention to feelings, needs and the responses that happen before you have time to think.
Our online room should offer enough trust and honesty to explore what is difficult. I bring attention and professional judgement. You bring your experience, questions and the right to say when something does not fit.
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P.S. I’ll call you in a bit!
