In this short video, I explain why a move you chose can still unsettle you deeply, and how we use video sessions to keep you steady from the old country to the new one.
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Relocation psychotherapy, moving abroad, helps you with the emotional side of a move you chose, before you leave and after you arrive. We meet one to one by video, in English, in 1-hour sessions with 50 minutes of therapy, and because sessions are online we can begin before you pack and carry on after you land.
I help you understand what the move is stirring up in you, separate ordinary adjustment from older patterns, and build a life in the new place that you can stand on. This page sits within my psychotherapy for people living abroad, part of my wider online psychotherapy. If you moved because of your partner’s job, trailing spouse psychotherapy is the closer fit.
From the old flat or the new one, you can ask for a free 30-minute call, reserve a session, read my client policy or send me a message.
Relocation psychotherapy, moving abroad is for adults who have chosen to move to a new country for work, study or love, and who find the transition harder than they planned. You want help to stay yourself through the change, with a therapist who does not disappear when your address does.
Some moves need a different starting point. If one of these lines matches your situation more closely, the linked page will suit you better.
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These reviews describe clients’ experiences of working with me. They come from my wider practice and do not all relate to online sessions. Each person’s experience is their own, and a review does not promise a particular outcome.
“Many of the people I meet by video tell me they chose this move, so they should be coping. I think that belief does more harm than the move itself. Choosing a change does not protect you from grieving what you left. When people allow themselves to miss home, they usually settle faster, not slower. Under the brave updates I often hear a quiet question, ‘If I vanished from the group chat, would anyone back home even notice?’, and right beside it a firm rule, ‘I must not ask anyone here for help yet, I have to prove I can manage this by myself.’ Both deserve a hearing. A move is a loss as well as a gain, and you are allowed to feel both.”
Mark Colclough, MA, psychotherapist and EFT couples therapist
I am Mark Colclough, MA. I have practised since 2004 and offer online psychotherapy and couples therapy in English.
My training brings together your emotions, your thoughts and your relationships. My deep passion is the moment when what happens between you finally makes sense, to each of you and to each other. I have lived and worked in nine countries, so I know something of life across languages, cultures and borders.
Read about my background, or explore online psychotherapy and online couples therapy.
I meet regularly with experienced psychotherapists to reflect on my work, question my understanding and develop my skills. Supervision is part of the professional care I bring to individual and couples work, including online sessions.
My focus is thoughtful practice, integrity and responsibility.
You are welcome to ask about the kind of support you need.
Tell me where you are based and your time zone. We can then consider whether online sessions together are suitable.
Vikram is 34 and moved from Pune to Berlin 8 months ago for a product role at a start-up. He wanted this for years. At work he is praised. At home he speaks to almost nobody, orders the same takeaway and plays games until late. His German lessons have stalled. When his mother asks on WhatsApp whether he is happy, he sends a thumbs-up and feels like a fraud.
I would start with what Vikram has lost, not with how to make friends faster: his language, his cousins, the city where people knew his name. In a first video session he would probably notice that the thumbs-up is an old habit of protecting his family from worry, and that it now keeps him alone.
I have presented this clinical example as a compound of 22 years of clinical practice.
You planned the move carefully, and still the change has knocked you further off balance than any plan allowed for.
There is no right moment and no perfect reason to start. You can come before the move, in the first chaotic weeks or a year in, when the novelty has gone. A feeling that the move is costing you more than it should is reason enough. You do not need a diagnosis or a crisis. In 22 years of practice, and after living and working in 9 countries myself, I can tell when ordinary adjustment strain has turned into a pattern that needs attention.
I will help you see what is happening, what keeps it going and what needs to change in your new life. The 6 questions below may help you decide whether to get in touch.
If it has, take it seriously. Visas, deposits, tax numbers and a phone contract you cannot read eat your days. By the weekend you have no energy left for people, exploring or anything that makes the move worth it.
I would look at whether this exhaustion belongs to the first months or has become how you live. That tells us whether you need practical relief or deeper work. If you see yourself here, book a session with me and we look at what is draining you.
Yes, and the 2 wishes can live side by side, because each protects something different. Wanting to belong keeps you open to a new life. Staying loyal keeps you connected to the people and the self you left behind.
I do not ask you to pick one side. In the depth work I trained in, we listen to both parts and ask what each is guarding. I help you build a life in which the new place can matter without the old one being erased.
When you live far away, the people you love become messages on a screen. A family chat that moves on without you, or a birthday watched on video, can feel like proof you are slipping out of their lives. You check, reread and wait.
Your need to stay close to them is legitimate, and I will not call it clingy. What we work on is the alarm that rings at the first quiet day, and the older fear of being left out that often sits beneath it.
Many people who move abroad say yes to invitations in their heads and cancel in real life. A colleague suggests a drink, a neighbour invites you to a barbecue, and suddenly you are too tired, too unsure of the language, or too aware of being the foreigner.
I help you slow this cycle down so we can find the moment the wish for company turns into a wish to hide. Often it is the fear of being seen as clumsy or not fitting in. I respect the part of you that protects itself, and I will also ask you to take a few small risks you can manage.
When everything around you is unfamiliar, it is natural to retreat to what you can control: your job, your laptop, a routine that asks nothing of you. You promise yourself you will explore once things calm down, but they rarely calm down on their own.
My view is that some retreat is healthy in the first months, and I will not push you into a busy social life. I help you see what the distance protects you from and when it begins to cost you more than it gives.
In a new language and culture, your humour, your opinions and your competence do not always come across. You may hear yourself sounding hesitant, simple or overly polite. It is easy to believe you have become less, when you have simply been working very hard.
I help you look at which parts of you are on hold, which are genuinely changing and which you want to bring back into your daily life. I will challenge you when you shrink yourself to fit in, but I will not tell you who to become. The aim is to feel recognisable to yourself in the new place.
If you saw your move in these questions, book a free call to talk it through, or choose a session time if you already know you want to start.
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Tell me briefly what kind of support you are looking for.
Include your country and time zone so we can discuss whether online work together is possible and find a suitable time.
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Making sense of why the move is so hard matters, but our work also has to change how you spend your evenings, reach out to people and make decisions in the new place.
I will help you understand what the move is stirring up in you, recognise the habits that keep you stuck and make changes you can feel in an ordinary week in your new city.
Having moved countries many times myself, and in 22 years of practice, I have learned that people adjust faster when the therapist is active. I tell you what I notice, I guide the focus and I challenge explanations that keep you hiding. The 6 questions below show what we work towards.
Related reading: Why am I struggling now, months after the move?, Why do I regret moving when I wanted this so much? and Why do I feel so flat since moving abroad?.
Together we pull the core of the problem apart from the clutter of the move. Poor sleep, irritability and homesickness are real, but they are often signs rather than causes. Beneath them may sit grief, an old fear of not fitting in, or pressure to prove the move was right.
I tell you what I think is going on, what deserves attention first and which explanations are keeping you stuck. When you are ready, book a session with me and we start to untangle it.
By learning its early signals. There is often a chain: a quiet Friday, a scroll through home photos, a heavy feeling in your chest, a decision to skip the weekend plans. Once you know the first link, you have a moment in which you can choose differently.
In our sessions I help you slow that chain down and look at what sets it off and what it shields you from. Knowing the chain is not enough on its own. We practise a different response, on screen and between sessions, until you can use it on a Friday evening in your new flat.
Calming yourself does not mean pretending you love every part of the new country. It means staying present enough to notice what you feel and decide what to do next. Some of it is a sensible response to too much change, and some is an older alarm the move has woken.
I help you notice the overwhelm earlier and understand what your body is reacting to, perhaps a phone call in a foreign language or a Sunday with no plans. Between sessions I will ask you to practise short, simple ways of settling, every day.
Asking clearly starts with knowing what you feel and need, and what is yours to take care of. In a new culture you may not know how direct you are allowed to be, so you stay silent, overexplain or apologise for taking up space at work and with new friends.
Together we find words that are honest, specific and fitting for the setting, such as asking a manager for clearer feedback. I challenge you when you silence yourself, and also when you expect people here to read signals from a culture they do not share.
The decision becomes clearer once you separate fear, pride and other people’s opinions from what you actually know and want. Many people set a one-year deadline, then spend the year worrying about it.
I help you look honestly at each option and what it would require of you, and at what would have to change for staying to become workable. You get my honest view, and I will name it when I see you avoiding the question, but the decision stays yours. If you do decide to return, online repatriation psychotherapy can carry you through that move too.
Settling is not a feeling that arrives one morning. It shows up in your weeks: a few people you can call, a café where you are recognised, a rhythm of work and rest, enough of the language to be yourself, and regular contact with home that nourishes rather than hurts.
We decide together which parts of your new life need changing and which are fine. Your sensitivity to the new place and your loyalty to the old one are not the problem. The aim is a life abroad that fits your values, so the move becomes something you live rather than endure.
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You do not need a diagnosis, a clear plan or the right words. We begin with where you are in the move and what feels hardest now.
When you start, I listen carefully, help you name the main difficulty and give our work a clear direction from the first session. You do not need to tell me your whole life story first.
Most relocation work fits well within my structured individual work in online psychotherapy, because the focus is you and how you live through the change. If you moved with a partner and the move has opened cracks between you, online couples therapy offers long-term relational development and healing. When you already expect the work to last through the move and the first months after it, a therapy bundle gives you savings and a plan that travels with you.
I ask where you are in the move, what made you choose it, what feels hardest right now and what you have already tried.
By the end of the hour, I give you my first sense of what is going on and suggest how we could work. You then decide whether my approach suits you. If you prefer to talk first, you can request a free 30-minute call before you book.
Individual work is right when the move is mainly shaking you: your confidence, your mood, your sense of who you are, your way of making friends and decisions. We can talk about the people in your life, here and at home, without anyone else joining the call.
Session after session I give you direction, continuity and clear challenge. If your difficulties reach well beyond the move, online psychotherapy describes my structured individual work as a whole.
Couples therapy is the stronger choice when the relationship needs steady attention of its own. If the move has led to repeated fights, one of you is thriving while the other is struggling, or trust has been strained, working on it together usually helps more than working on it apart.
In couples sessions I help you both see the cycle you fall into, take responsibility for your part and find safer ways of being close while everything around you is new. Online couples therapy is long-term relational development and healing, and some people start alone with me and bring their partner in later.
The pace depends on how hard the change is hitting you, how much room your week has and where you are in the move.
I usually suggest weekly sessions around the move, then every second week once you have landed. I will tell you honestly if longer gaps would lose the thread. Because we meet online, a session can happen from your old sofa one week and from a temporary flat the next, and if you want a concentrated block before you fly, sessions can also be back-to-back.
A bundle makes sense when you know the move will need support for a while and you want continuity rather than deciding after each session whether to go on.
A bundle brings down the cost of each session and gives you the safety of a plan agreed at the start. You can find the details on therapy discounts and bundles and in the cards further down.
Our work has done its job when you feel more at home in yourself, can handle the new country’s ups and downs and make choices about your life there with clarity. Homesickness may still visit, but it no longer runs your weeks.
I review your progress openly with you and do not keep you in therapy longer than it helps. Sessions can thin out, pause or end once the purpose is met. If you return before the next big move, that is a sensible use of support, not a sign that the earlier work failed.
Not sure this is the right place to begin? Here is how relocation psychotherapy compares with the options people moving abroad most often consider.
| Option | Choose it when | Pace |
|---|---|---|
| Relocation psychotherapy (this page) | You chose to move abroad and the transition is shaking you. | Weekly 1-hour video sessions around the move |
| Trailing spouse psychotherapy | You moved for your partner’s job and lost your own footing. | Weekly or fortnightly video sessions |
| Online repatriation psychotherapy | You are moving back home and it feels strange. | A focused course of video sessions |
| Back-to-back psychotherapy, living abroad | You want a concentrated block before or after the move. | Several sessions over a few days |
Relocation psychotherapy is individual psychotherapy by video, in English, for adults who are moving or have just moved to a new country by their own choice. It helps you through the emotional side of the move: the loss, the loneliness, the identity shifts and the decisions, so you can build a life in the new place that fits you.
I work in depth with the whole person, including the older patterns a move often wakes up. Because we meet online, the same therapist stays with you from departure to well after arrival, within my psychotherapy for people living abroad.
Either works. Come before the move if dread, doubt or sleeplessness are building. Come after it if loneliness, low mood or self-doubt are lasting longer than you expected. Your own sense that the move is costing too much is a good enough reason.
I look at how long the strain has lasted, whether it is spreading into work and sleep, and what you have stopped doing because of it.
Yes, often it can. Therapy cannot make friends for you, and I do not promise a quick change. What it can do is help you understand what makes contact hard for you, ease the fear of being the outsider and support you while you take small steps towards people.
In my clinical experience, loneliness after a move often has 2 layers: the obvious lack of people, and an older feeling of not quite belonging that the move has brought to the surface. We work with both.
Not necessarily. Many people feel worst between the third and the twelfth month, when the excitement is gone and real life has not yet taken shape. Feeling bad tells you the change is big, not that you chose wrongly.
I help you separate the normal pain of adjustment from signs that this place may truly not fit you. We look at what would have to change for staying to work, and if leaving turns out to be right, we plan it calmly rather than in a panic.
Both are ways of coping with distance. Some people call home every day and feel lost when nobody answers. Others go quiet and stop calling, because the contact hurts too much. Neither says anything bad about who you are.
I help you see which way you lean when the distance bites, what that move is trying to protect and what it costs you and the people at home.
We start with where you are now. I ask about the move, your daily life, the people you miss and what you hope will change. By the end you will have my first reading of the situation and a proposal for how we could work.
You do not need to prepare anything or know what you want. Book your first session when you are ready, or start with a free 30-minute call to meet me first.
Plan for a course of sessions that spans the move and the first months after it, rather than one or 2 conversations. That is often long enough to get through the hardest stretch and build a few steady habits. If the move has woken older pain, the work usually goes on longer.
From what I have seen of people who move, a clearly agreed first stretch with honest reviews does far more than sessions that simply drift on. Each review is a joint choice: keep going through the next phase of the move, space the sessions out, or end.
Yes, and that is one of the strongest reasons to choose video. You can start in your old home and carry on from a temporary flat, without hunting for a new therapist in a language you are still learning.
You need somewhere private, headphones, a steady connection and a laptop or tablet. The calendar always shows times in your current time zone, and we can sort out any questions on a free call.
Relocation work, like all my individual psychotherapy, is booked as 1-hour online sessions with 50 minutes of therapy. The fee for that hour, in US dollars, is shown on my prices page.
If you expect to need support through the whole move, a therapy bundle saves 10 per cent on each session and gives you a structured plan. The bundles are explained on therapy discounts and bundles.
Go to the booking page and choose a first session, or request a free 30-minute call if you would like to talk it over first. Every time shown is in the time zone you are in today.
If nothing fits around your moving dates, or something has become acute, contact me directly. Some room is kept free for acute cases, usually a time within days, as acute psychotherapy, living abroad explains. Pick a time, and we start wherever you are in the move.
You can also send me an email
I want therapy to help you understand your experience and make choices you can use in everyday life. We pay attention to feelings, needs and the responses that happen before you have time to think.
Our online room should offer enough trust and honesty to explore what is difficult. I bring attention and professional judgement. You bring your experience, questions and the right to say when something does not fit.
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