In this short video, I explain why emptiness is usually a protection rather than an absence, and how we start reconnecting with what you feel when we meet by video.
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Online therapy for feeling empty helps you look closely at the inner blankness that has replaced desire, emotion and a sense of who you are. It is one-to-one work with me by video, in English, in 1-hour sessions that hold 50 minutes of therapy, at hours that suit your time zone.
Together we trace when the quiet set in, what it holds away from you, and how your feelings and wishes can come back without overwhelming you. I do not diagnose or prescribe. You will find it under online depression therapy in my online psychotherapy.
Begin gently with a free 30-minute call, or reserve a session if you already feel sure. My client policy is there to read beforehand, and you can always send me a question about the emptiness first.
Online therapy for feeling empty is for English-speaking adults, in any country, for whom inner life has gone muffled, as though the sound on their emotions was turned down years ago. You may not feel sad, and you may look perfectly fine. What is missing is aliveness, and you would like to find out what took it.
Numbness can look like several other things. Where a line below names your experience more exactly, the link beside it leads somewhere more suitable.
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These reviews describe clients’ experiences of working with me. They come from my wider practice and do not all relate to online sessions. Each person’s experience is their own, and a review does not promise a particular outcome.
“If I look back over recent client cases, the people who told me they felt empty were rarely empty at all. They were full of feeling that had nowhere safe to go, so the whole system went quiet. I disagree strongly with the idea that you must first find some passion to fill the hole. The hole is guarding something. Under the blankness I hear a small voice asking ‘Does anyone actually see me?’ and a cooler one replying ‘I am fine on my own, I do not need to feel this.’ Some people hold a third request as well, ‘Come and find me, but please do not get too close.’ When we listen to all of them, feeling usually begins to return.”
Mark Colclough, MA, psychotherapist and EFT couples therapist
I am Mark Colclough, MA. I have practised since 2004 and offer online psychotherapy and couples therapy in English.
My training brings together your emotions, your thoughts and your relationships. My deep passion is the moment when what happens between you finally makes sense, to each of you and to each other. I have lived and worked in nine countries, so I know something of life across languages, cultures and borders.
Read about my background, or explore online psychotherapy and online couples therapy.
I meet regularly with experienced psychotherapists to reflect on my work, question my understanding and develop my skills. Supervision is part of the professional care I bring to individual and couples work, including online sessions.
My focus is thoughtful practice, integrity and responsibility.
You are welcome to ask about the kind of support you need.
Tell me where you are based and your time zone. We can then consider whether online sessions together are suitable.
Anika is 31, a German UX designer who moved to Lisbon 2 years ago for a remote job. Her flat looks over the river, her colleagues like her and her boyfriend visits from Porto twice a month. When he asks if she is happy, she says “I think so” and cannot say more. She codes until midnight, orders the same noodles and goes to parties she will not remember. At her grandmother’s funeral in Hamburg in the spring, her eyes stayed dry, and that scared her.
I would start with Anika at the graveside, and with what her body was doing while her eyes stayed dry. In a first video session she would probably find that her composure is old, learned as a girl in a household where anyone who cried was told to go to their room.
I have presented this clinical example as a compound of 22 years of clinical practice.
You have tried new places, new people and new plans, and the blank feeling has followed you everywhere.
There is no right time to bring emptiness to therapy, and you do not need a dramatic reason. A quiet sense that you are not really living your life is enough. You do not need a diagnosis, a clear explanation or a crisis before you contact me. In 22 years of practice I have sat with many people who could only say “I feel nothing”, and I know when that numbness has become a pattern worth taking seriously.
I will help you understand what has gone quiet, what keeps it quiet and what needs to change. The 6 questions below may show whether your own numbness is asking for that.
If you do, it deserves attention. Silence feels uncomfortable, so the podcast goes on in the shower and the phone comes out at every red light. Evenings disappear into screens, and at the end of the week you cannot remember a single moment that felt like yours.
I would look at what happens in the rare moments when the noise stops, and how long this habit has been with you. That tells us whether you are simply tired or whether the filling has become a way of avoiding something. If this sounds familiar, book a session with me and we can start there.
Both can be true together, because each one guards a different need. Part of you wants colour, desire and intensity back. Another part senses that if feelings returned, some of them might be grief, anger or loneliness you are not ready to meet.
I do not push you to feel more than is safe. I help you listen to the part that wants life and the part that keeps the volume down, and understand what each is protecting. The goal is not to tear the protection away, but to let feeling return at a pace you can bear.
When you are with someone who likes you, you feel briefly present. When they go quiet or leave, the blankness flows back in. You may text first, stay in relationships too long or check social media for signs that you exist in someone’s mind.
Wanting to be seen is a healthy need, and I will not shame it. What I help you change is the sense that you only exist when reflected by someone else. We look at where that started, often in early relationships where you were not mirrored, and you practise noticing your own feelings before you look outward.
Yes, many people describe exactly this. You long for intimacy, plan a weekend together, and then sit beside the person you love feeling flat and far away. Then you blame yourself, or them, and pull back again.
In sessions I slow this sequence down so we can find the moment when closeness turns into blankness. Often it is when someone starts to matter, because mattering once meant getting hurt. I hold real compassion for that reflex, and I will also ask you to notice its effect on the people close to you.
When a partner cries, a friend asks how you really feel or a parent wants warmth, you may switch off. Your mind goes white, you give a practical answer or change the subject. It is not that you do not care. It is that something inside closes the door.
My view is that this blankness is a clever defence, and you have no reason to be ashamed of it. I help you understand what it protects you from, so you can stay present for a few more seconds without feeling invaded. You learn to say “I do not know what I feel yet, give me a moment” instead of disappearing.
Years of adapting to others, to a family’s rules or a new culture’s expectations, can leave your own wishes faint and hard to hear. You may know what everyone else needs and have no idea what you would choose. That is the result of long adaptation, not proof that nothing is there.
I help you notice small preferences and reactions, the first signs of a self that has been waiting. Through sub-personality work and dreams we often find parts of you that went quiet long ago. When you wave those parts away I will notice it aloud, yet I leave the shaping of your self to you. The aim is to hear yourself again.
If something in these questions felt familiar, a free call is a gentle first step, and booking a session is there when you are ready to begin.
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Tell me briefly what kind of support you are looking for.
Include your country and time zone so we can discuss whether online work together is possible and find a suitable time.
You do not need to explain your whole story in your first message.
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Understanding the emptiness matters, but the work has to change how you notice, choose and connect in everyday life.
Working with me will help you understand what has gone quiet inside you, recognise the patterns that keep it quiet and make changes you can feel in your days. Insight is valuable, yet emptiness rarely lifts through understanding alone. Something in how you meet yourself and others has to change too.
In 22 years of practice I have learned that numb people need an engaged therapist. I will ask questions, tell you what I notice in your face and voice, and challenge the conclusion that you simply have no feelings. Each of the 6 questions that follow names one aim of the work.
Related reading: Why do I feel so empty when nothing is wrong? and What is the point of life when nothing moves me?.
I help you tell the core of the problem from the noise around it. Boredom, restlessness and long evenings on screens are real, but they are often signs of something underneath: a loss that was never felt, a need that was never answered, a feeling that was once too dangerous.
I will tell you what I think the blankness is doing, what to look at first and which explanations keep you stuck. When you are ready, book a session with me and we begin to listen beneath the quiet.
You can learn to catch it. Numbness often comes in steps: a slight tension, a drift in attention, a sudden urge to pick up your phone, then nothing. Spotting the first step gives you a chance to stay a little longer with what was arriving.
In sessions I help you slow that sequence down, sometimes moment by moment on screen, so we can see what triggers it and what it guards against. Seeing it is only the beginning. We practise staying present until you can do it on your own in ordinary life.
Letting feeling return does not mean being overwhelmed or forcing tears. It means staying present enough to notice small sensations and give them a name. A warm chest, a lump in the throat or a flicker of irritation is a beginning.
I help you notice these small signals, often first in your body, and understand what they are responding to. Between sessions I ask you to practise briefly every day, checking in with yourself before you reach for distraction, because the work needs repetition outside our hour.
Clear words start with noticing what you feel, even faintly. When you are used to emptiness, you may agree to everything, say “I do not mind” or hand every choice to someone else. Over time that leaves you even more absent from your own life.
I help you find words that are honest and specific, even when they are small, such as “I would rather stay in tonight.” I challenge self-erasure, and I also challenge expecting others to guess what you want. We practise in sessions before you try it at home.
Choices become possible when you separate the numbness from what you actually value. Emptiness says every option is the same, so you drift, follow others or wait for a feeling of certainty that never comes.
I help you look honestly at your options and notice the faint pull of one over another. You get my honest view, and I will point it out when you are drifting, but the decision is yours. If the bigger question is who you are, online identity crisis therapy goes further into that.
Lasting change reaches into how you spend your evenings, who you spend them with and how you respond when something touches you. You may need fewer distractions, more honest relationships and time for things that make you feel alive, even quietly.
We sort out together which parts of your life ask for change and which already fit. Your calm and your ability to stay steady are real strengths, and we keep them. The aim is a life you are present in, where your choices come from what you feel and value.
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You do not need to be able to describe what you feel. We start with what you notice now, even if that is very little.
When you begin, I listen closely, help you put the emptiness into words and give the work a direction from the first session. If you cannot name anything, we begin there.
This is part of online depression therapy and my wider online psychotherapy, structured individual work on your inner life and relationships. If the blankness lives mostly between you and your partner, online couples therapy offers long-term relational development and healing. If you already expect a steady course, a therapy bundle brings real savings and a plan that holds the work together.
In the first session I ask what led you to look for help now, when you notice the emptiness most, what you have already tried and what you would like to feel again. There is no need to explain your entire past.
Before we finish, I share my first impression and suggest where to begin. Afterwards you decide whether this way of working speaks to you. Some people want a shorter first contact, and a free 30-minute call offers that.
Individual work fits when the emptiness lives mostly inside you: in your history, your ways of protecting yourself and how you relate to your own feelings. Your relationships can be explored without anyone else being present.
I offer direction, continuity and honest challenge, week by week. If you would rather look at your life as a whole, online psychotherapy describes my structured individual work.
Joint sessions make more sense when it is the bond between you and a partner that has gone numb. If you feel numb mostly with your partner, if the two of you have stopped reaching each other, or if one keeps asking for more while the other goes blank, working together usually helps more.
In couples sessions I help you both see the pattern between you, take responsibility for your part and create safer closeness. Online couples therapy is long-term relational development and healing, and some people begin alone before inviting their partner.
That depends on how deep the numbness goes, what else your life holds right now and how much continuity you need to feel safe opening up.
I usually recommend weekly sessions at first, because feeling tends to return when there is a regular, reliable space for it. I will tell you if the gaps are too long, and when we can meet less often. Back-to-back sessions over a few days are possible if your schedule needs it.
A bundle fits when you expect several sessions and want continuity rather than deciding each time whether to come back. Emptiness can make every session feel pointless just before something shifts, and a plan protects you from that.
A bundle lowers the cost per session and gives you the security of an agreed structure. Browse therapy discounts and bundles or the cards below to see the sizes.
Therapy has done its job when you can feel more of your life, know more of what you want and choose with more freedom, and when the emptiness no longer runs your days.
We speak openly about progress, and I have no wish to keep you longer than the work requires. When it has done its part, we can slow down, take a break or stop. Returning later with something new is a sensible choice, not a sign that anything failed.
Not sure this page fits? Here is how it compares with the options people who feel hollow or numb most often consider.
| Option | Choose it when | Pace |
|---|---|---|
| Online therapy for feeling empty (this page) | Blankness, not sadness, is your main experience. | Weekly 1-hour video sessions at first |
| Online depression therapy | Heaviness and exhaustion are making daily life hard. | Weekly 1-hour video sessions at first |
| Online loneliness therapy | What you lack most is company that reaches you. | Regular video sessions over some months |
| Online trauma therapy | The numbness began after something overwhelming happened. | A careful, steady course of video sessions |
It is individual video psychotherapy, in English, for adults whose emotions and wishes have gone faint or silent. Rather than filling the gap with activity, it explores what the emptiness protects and how it began.
I work with the whole person, including your body, your dreams, your relationships and what you inherited from your family. I do not diagnose or prescribe. On this site it sits under online depression therapy, as the page for numbness.
Come when the numbness has lasted for months, when nothing you try brings it back to life, or when you notice you are filling every moment to avoid it. If you sense that you are missing your own life, that is enough.
I look at how long the emptiness has been there, what you use to cover it and what you have stopped wanting. In 22 years of practice I have seen that people often wait because nothing looks wrong from outside. That is not a reason to wait.
More than you might think. The feeling of nothing is usually a protective quiet, not a real absence. I cannot promise a particular outcome, and I do not offer a fast way out, but I have seen many people slowly find their feelings again.
In my clinical experience, the emptiness usually started at a point where feeling was too much: a loss, a frightening home or a family where emotion was not allowed. We look at what it protected you from then, and whether you still need that protection now.
Not always. Some people feel heavy and sad, others feel nothing much at all, and many feel both at different times. I do not diagnose, so I will not give you a label. I will help you understand your own version.
If heaviness and exhaustion are stronger than the numbness, online depression therapy may suit you better. If you are unsure, we can work it out together in a first session.
Because closeness can wake something that once hurt. Some people chase connection to feel real. Others keep their distance and say they are fine alone. Many swing between the two. These are ways of staying safe, not flaws in who you are.
I help you notice how you move when someone gets close, what goes quiet and what it costs you. Then we build small, steadier ways of staying present, even when part of you wants to switch off.
We talk about what you notice: what your days are like, when the blankness is strongest, what you used to enjoy. I pay attention to small things in your voice and body. Before we say goodbye, you will hear how I understand the blankness so far and where I would suggest we go.
Nothing needs preparing. “I do not know” is an honest opening line, and I will work with it. Choose a first session, or start with a free call if you want to meet me first.
Think in terms of months, meeting every week. Emptiness usually developed over years, and it loosens through steady, reliable contact rather than one breakthrough conversation.
Based on 22 years of practice, I suggest agreeing a first stretch and then reviewing it honestly. Each time we take stock, the two of us choose whether to carry on, slow the rhythm or close the work.
For most people, yes. Being in your own room can make it easier to notice what you feel, and the screen often feels less exposing than sitting face to face at first. Video also lets the work continue if you move or travel.
You need privacy, headphones and a reliable connection. If the screen ever makes you drift, we notice it together, which becomes part of the work. Times show in your own zone, and any practical questions can be answered on a free 30-minute call.
It is individual psychotherapy, booked as 1-hour online sessions, each with 50 minutes of therapy. For current fees in US dollars, see my prices page.
If you expect a steady course, a therapy bundle saves 10 per cent on every session and gives you a planned structure. See the options on therapy discounts and bundles.
Pick a time in my calendar, or book a free 30-minute call if you would like to talk before deciding. You will see each time in your own time zone.
If no time works, or you would rather explain by message first, get in touch with me. Then take the first step, even if you feel nothing much about it yet.
You can also send me an email
I want therapy to help you understand your experience and make choices you can use in everyday life. We pay attention to feelings, needs and the responses that happen before you have time to think.
Our online room should offer enough trust and honesty to explore what is difficult. I bring attention and professional judgement. You bring your experience, questions and the right to say when something does not fit.
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P.S. I’ll call you in a bit!
