In this short video, I explain how I use emotion-focused therapy in the first days after a shock, when you live abroad and your usual support is far away.
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Acute EFT psychotherapy, living abroad helps you when something has just happened and your feelings are too strong, too confusing or too numb to manage alone. We meet quickly by video, in English, in 1-hour sessions with 50 minutes of therapy, usually within days and at a time that fits your time zone.
I help you settle the emotional storm enough to think, find the core feeling under the chaos and decide what really needs deciding now. It is the crisis strand of EFT psychotherapy, living abroad, within psychotherapy for people living abroad and my online psychotherapy. For a crisis that is mainly practical, see acute psychotherapy, living abroad.
You can book the first available session, request a free 30-minute call, check my client policy or write to me if no time is soon enough.
Acute EFT psychotherapy, living abroad is for English-speaking adults abroad who have just been hit by a shock and are overwhelmed by what they feel. You need help this week to steady yourself, understand the feelings and avoid decisions you would regret, with your family and oldest friends far away.
Acute emotion-focused work is for the first days and weeks after a shock. When a line below fits more closely, the page it links to was written for you.
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These reviews describe clients’ experiences of working with me. They come from my wider practice and do not all relate to online sessions. Each person’s experience is their own, and a review does not promise a particular outcome.
“Looking back over my 22 years of practice, I am convinced that the first week after a shock abroad is not the time to understand everything. People living far from home often try to think their way out of a flood of feeling, because there is nobody nearby to hold them. Under the reasoning I hear one plea, ‘Will anyone notice that I am falling apart over here?’, and a steelier reply, ‘I just need to get through this on my own, then I can feel it.’ Both deserve respect. My job in those first days is to slow the storm enough that you can feel it without drowning, and think without going numb.”
Mark Colclough, MA, psychotherapist and EFT couples therapist
I am Mark Colclough, MA. I have practised since 2004 and offer online psychotherapy and couples therapy in English.
My training brings together your emotions, your thoughts and your relationships. My deep passion is the moment when what happens between you finally makes sense, to each of you and to each other. I have lived and worked in nine countries, so I know something of life across languages, cultures and borders.
Read about my background, or explore online psychotherapy and online couples therapy.
I meet regularly with experienced psychotherapists to reflect on my work, question my understanding and develop my skills. Supervision is part of the professional care I bring to individual and couples work, including online sessions.
My focus is thoughtful practice, integrity and responsibility.
You are welcome to ask about the kind of support you need.
Tell me where you are based and your time zone. We can then consider whether online sessions together are suitable.
Jun is 31, a Korean software engineer in Berlin. On a Tuesday night her brother calls from Busan: their father has had a stroke. Flights are full until the weekend, her manager wants a deadline met, and she has slept 3 hours since. At work she is calm and efficient. Alone in her flat she cries, then goes blank for hours, and she feels guilty for not crying more.
In our first session I would help Jun find one steady place in the middle of the noise, then slow down the moment the guilt arrives. She would probably see that the numbness is not coldness but protection, and that what lies underneath is a frightened love she has had no room to feel.
I have presented this clinical example as a compound of 22 years of clinical practice.
Something has happened that your usual ways of coping cannot hold, and you are facing it far from the people who know you.
There is no right moment and no qualifying event for asking for help. If your feelings have become unmanageable, or have vanished in a way that frightens you, that is enough. You do not need a diagnosis or a tidy account of what happened. In 22 years of practice I have learned to recognise when a shock abroad needs immediate attention, and when it can wait for regular sessions.
In a crisis I usually begin by helping you settle enough to think, then find the core feeling and what must be decided now. These 6 questions help you judge whether to contact me this week.
If they are, take that seriously. You may forget meetings, lose your appetite or sit for an hour without moving. Panic, grief or anger can swamp you at your desk or on the tram, while friends back home are asleep.
I would look at which emotion is driving the overwhelm and whether it rises and falls or never lets go. That tells us how much support you need right now. Book a session with me, and we can steady the first days together.
Both urges can be equally strong, because they protect different needs. One part of you wants to drop everything and be with family. Another holds on to your job, your visa or your life here, terrified of losing what you have built.
I will not tell you which part is right. In emotion-focused work we let each side speak and hear what it is protecting. I help you understand both, so your next step is a choice you can live with rather than a reaction you regret.
After a shock abroad, you may message friends constantly, call home at strange hours or check your phone for any sign of care. Then you worry you are becoming a burden, and the worry makes you reach out even more.
Your need for comfort right now is entirely legitimate. I help you settle the alarm underneath it, so the fear does not decide every message you send. We look at who can genuinely support you, nearby and far away, and how to ask them clearly.
In a crisis this swing can be strong. You beg a friend to come over, then wish they would leave. You call your mother, then hang up feeling worse. Closeness feels necessary and unbearable within the same evening.
I slow this down with you, so we can see what tips you from one state into the other. Often it is the moment someone else’s feelings add to your own. I meet these moves with compassion, and I also help you protect the relationships you will need after the crisis.
Not every shock looks dramatic. You may organise flights, answer emails and say all the right things while feeling nothing. Others may think you are coping well, and in a sense you are. But the feelings have gone somewhere.
My view is that numbness in a crisis is protection, not failure. I help you approach what lies beneath it gently, at a pace you can bear. You do not have to feel everything at once, but you do need a safe place where the feelings can begin to arrive.
A crisis abroad can shake far more than the event itself. Suddenly you may wonder why you moved, whether you belong anywhere and what kind of person you are for being so far away. Shame can join in, telling you this proves you failed.
I help you separate the real questions from the ones the shock is shouting. I offer direction and honest challenge, but I will not push you towards any conclusion. Over time the aim is clarity about what matters to you, and where your life should be.
If this is where you are, book the first available session or request a call. I will tell you honestly how soon we can meet.
You can also send me an email
Tell me briefly what kind of support you are looking for.
Include your country and time zone so we can discuss whether online work together is possible and find a suitable time.
You do not need to explain your whole story in your first message.
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In an emotional crisis the order matters: first steady yourself, then understand what you feel, then decide what to do.
Acute work with me will help you steady the emotional flood, see what you are actually feeling and take the next step with a clearer head. Understanding alone is not enough in a crisis. You need enough calm to function and enough clarity to act.
In 22 years of practice I have found that crisis work needs an active, structured therapist. I will guide, name what I see and challenge where it helps, while staying close to what you feel. These 6 questions show what we work towards.
Related reading: Why am I so anxious now that I’ve actually moved?.
A crisis rarely contains one feeling. Anger may cover terror, numbness may cover grief, and guilt may hide a need you think you are not allowed. Abroad, the feelings may also come in different languages.
I help you tell the core emotion apart from the reactions around it, and I tell you what I see. Once you know what you are really facing, you can respond to that instead of the loudest surface noise. Book a session with me, and we will start with what is hardest right now.
By learning its first signs. A wave usually builds: a tight stomach, a racing thought, a heat in the face, an urge to call someone or hide. Catching the first sign gives you a moment to steady yourself.
In our sessions I help you slow the wave down and see what sets it off. Knowing is not enough. We practise a simple response you can use in your flat at 3 in the morning, when there is nobody to call in your time zone.
Calm, in a crisis, means being present enough to understand what is happening and choose what to do. It does not mean pretending you are fine or forcing the feelings away.
I help you recognise when you are becoming overwhelmed, understand what your body is reacting to and find small ways of slowing the reaction. I will ask you to practise these between sessions, a few minutes several times a day. That is your part, and in a crisis it matters a great deal.
Asking for help starts with knowing what you feel and what you need from whom. In a crisis abroad that can be confusing: family is far away, colleagues are not friends, and you do not want to frighten anyone.
I help you find words that are honest and fit the moment, whether you are talking to a manager, a doctor or a sibling on another continent. I challenge you when you hide everything, and when you expect others to know without being told.
By separating what truly has to be decided this week from what can wait. Panic, guilt and fear make everything feel urgent, while the real deadlines may be fewer than you think.
I help you identify the decisions that cannot wait, what each option would mean and what you need to know first. You will hear my frank opinion, and I will name it if you start dodging, yet the choice remains in your hands. Where possible, we find a smaller step that keeps your options open.
When the storm settles, the deeper questions often remain: grief, belonging, where to live, what the shock has shown you. You may need new routines, more support nearby or different decisions about home.
I help you decide what to work on and what you can leave. Many people continue with EFT psychotherapy, living abroad, some pause and some stop. The goal is a life that fits you, not a return to coping at any cost.
You can also send me an email
You do not need to understand what you feel before you come. You only need to come.
In the first session I listen carefully, help you name what has happened and what you are feeling, and agree with you on a plan for the next days. I will also tell you honestly whether acute work is the right format.
Acute work is one entry point into my online psychotherapy, structured individual work that can continue once the crisis eases. If the crisis is in your relationship and your partner will join, online couples therapy offers long-term relational development and healing. Because a crisis usually needs several sessions close together, a therapy bundle gives you savings and a plan you do not have to rethink each time.
I ask what happened, what feels most urgent and which feeling is hardest to bear. We work out together whether steadying yourself, a decision, a boundary or a difficult conversation needs to come first.
By the end you will have my initial understanding and concrete steps for the coming days. You can judge whether my way of working helps. Book the first available session, or request a free 30-minute call if you want to check first.
Individual work is right when the crisis is about your own feelings, history, decisions or way of coping. Your relationships can be part of the work without anyone else joining.
I give you direction and continuity from session to session, and honest challenge when you need it. When the acute phase ends, online psychotherapy describes how my structured individual work continues.
Couples therapy is the better choice when the relationship itself is in crisis and both of you are willing to work on it. An affair, an ultimatum or repeated explosive conflict usually needs both partners present.
In couples work I help you understand the cycle between you and repair what has been damaged. Online couples therapy is long-term relational development and healing, and it works for couples in different countries too.
At the start, sessions are usually closer together than in regular therapy, so the crisis does not overwhelm you between them. How close depends on how acute things are and what your days allow.
I recommend a pace and adjust it as you steady. As stability returns, we space sessions out. I will tell you honestly if we are meeting too often or not often enough.
A bundle makes sense when you know the crisis will need several sessions and you would rather not decide each time whether to book another. In acute work this is common.
Choosing a bundle lowers your per-session cost and gives you the steadiness of a plan agreed at the start. The sizes are listed on therapy discounts and bundles, and we can pick one together once we know what the crisis needs.
The acute phase is over when you can feel and think at the same time again, get through ordinary days and know what to do if the intensity returns.
I review progress openly and help you decide whether to stop, meet less often or continue with longer work. Acute support should not continue without an end. Coming back later with something new does not mean the crisis work failed.
Not sure this is the right place to start? Here is how acute emotion-focused work abroad compares with its closest neighbours.
| Option | Choose it when | Pace |
|---|---|---|
| Acute EFT psychotherapy, living abroad (this page) | A shock abroad has left your feelings overwhelming or numb, and you need help this week. | Video sessions close together at first |
| Acute psychotherapy, living abroad | You are in crisis abroad and want broad, practical support. | Video sessions within days |
| EFT psychotherapy, living abroad | There is no acute crisis, but feelings about life abroad need ongoing work. | Weekly 1-hour video sessions |
| Acute EFT online psychotherapy | You need fast emotion-focused help, and living abroad is not part of it. | Video sessions close together at first |
It is fast, short-term individual psychotherapy using emotion-focused therapy, by video and in English, for adults living abroad who have just been hit by a shock. It helps you steady overwhelming or numb feelings, understand them and make sound decisions in the first days and weeks.
I usually offer a first session within days. When the acute phase passes, the work can continue as EFT psychotherapy, living abroad.
Come now if your feelings are stopping you from sleeping, working or thinking clearly, or if you are about to make a big decision in panic. If you sense this is more than you can hold alone abroad, trust that.
I look at how intense the feelings are, how much support you have nearby and what must be decided soon. If regular sessions would be enough, I will tell you.
No. The first days are often when support helps most, before panic shapes decisions that are hard to reverse. You do not need to have made sense of anything to begin.
In my clinical experience, people abroad often wait because they think they should manage alone. Early help does not take away your strength. It gives that strength something to lean on.
Then we slow down together. I watch closely, adjust the pace and help you settle before the session ends. Strong feelings are part of the work, not a reason to stop.
We also plan what you will do after the call, such as a short walk, a message to a friend or a quiet routine. Because I do not run an emergency service, anyone in danger should call the emergency services where they live.
In a crisis, the wish for comfort and the wish for distance can both become intense. Both are ways of trying to feel safe, shaped by how you learned to cope long before this happened.
I help you notice which way you move under pressure, what each move protects and what it costs the people around you. Then we look for steadier ways of getting support and taking space.
We focus on what happened, what you are feeling and what has to happen in the next few days. By the end you should have a clearer picture and a small, realistic plan.
Come as you are, with no notes and no prepared account. Book the first available session, or request a free call if you want to talk first.
Sometimes a few sessions restore enough direction. A deeper or longer-lasting shock may need several weeks of close support, then a move into regular work.
I give you a clear recommendation and review it with you after each session, drawing on 22 years of practice. Sessions continue because they help, not because the arrangement has become routine.
Yes, when you have enough privacy and stability to take part safely. For many people abroad, video is the only way to reach a therapist in English quickly, and you can join from wherever you are, even while travelling home.
A closed door, headphones, a steady internet connection and a laptop or tablet are all it takes. If you are staying with family, a parked car or a quiet hotel room can work. The calendar shows times in your own time zone, and we can check practicalities on a free call.
Acute work is booked in the same way as all my individual psychotherapy, as 1-hour online sessions with 50 minutes of therapy. The current fee in US dollars is shown on my prices page.
Since a crisis usually needs several sessions, a therapy bundle saves you 10 per cent and gives you a structured plan. The options are on therapy discounts and bundles.
Book the first available session in the calendar, or request a free 30-minute call. Times are shown in your local time zone.
If none of the times are soon enough, contact me directly and tell me briefly what has happened. I keep space free for people in crisis, and can usually offer a time within days. Book now, and we will start with what you are feeling today.
You can also send me an email
I want therapy to help you understand your experience and make choices you can use in everyday life. We pay attention to feelings, needs and the responses that happen before you have time to think.
Our online room should offer enough trust and honesty to explore what is difficult. I bring attention and professional judgement. You bring your experience, questions and the right to say when something does not fit.
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P.S. I’ll call you in a bit!
