In this short video, I explain how I work with autistic adults by video, and why the aim is to spend less energy performing rather than to perform more convincingly.
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Online autism psychotherapy helps autistic adults, and people who have recently begun to wonder, to understand the exhaustion, misunderstanding and quiet loneliness that so often come with living in a world built for other nervous systems. We meet by video, in English, in 1-hour sessions with 50 minutes of therapy, from a room you choose, at a time that fits your time zone.
I help you see where masking protects you and where it drains you, how sensory load and social demand add up, and what kind of life fits you. This is the autism strand of online neurodiverse psychotherapy, part of my wider online psychotherapy. If you are in burnout or collapse right now, acute online autism psychotherapy is the quicker route.
You can arrange a free 30-minute call, book a session, read my client policy or write to me if you prefer to start in writing.
Online autism psychotherapy is for English-speaking autistic adults, including people who suspect they are autistic, who are tired of working so hard to seem like everyone else. You want a therapist who takes your experience at face value and meets you by video from your own space.
Some situations need a different focus or a faster start. Where a line below describes you more closely, follow its link.
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These reviews describe clients’ experiences of working with me. They come from my wider practice and do not all relate to online sessions. Each person’s experience is their own, and a review does not promise a particular outcome.
“In more than 20 years of sitting with people, I have met many autistic adults who arrive asking me to help them perform better. They want to read faces faster and sound warmer in meetings. I understand the wish, but I think it is usually the wrong goal. Underneath I hear ‘Did I upset them without knowing?’ and, close behind it, ‘I need to be alone now, please do not follow me.’ Often the same person tells me ‘I am lonely, and I cannot bear company,’ and means both. What helps is not a more convincing mask. It is knowing where you can take it off, and building enough of a life in those places.”
Mark Colclough, MA, psychotherapist and EFT couples therapist
I am Mark Colclough, MA. I have practised since 2004 and offer online psychotherapy and couples therapy in English.
My training brings together your emotions, your thoughts and your relationships. My deep passion is the moment when what happens between you finally makes sense, to each of you and to each other. I have lived and worked in nine countries, so I know something of life across languages, cultures and borders.
Read about my background, or explore online psychotherapy and online couples therapy.
I meet regularly with experienced psychotherapists to reflect on my work, question my understanding and develop my skills. Supervision is part of the professional care I bring to individual and couples work, including online sessions.
My focus is thoughtful practice, integrity and responsibility.
You are welcome to ask about the kind of support you need.
Tell me where you are based and your time zone. We can then consider whether online sessions together are suitable.
Sienna is 41, grew up in Cape Town and works as a research chemist in Rotterdam. She was identified as autistic 2 years ago, after her son’s assessment, and something clicked. Colleagues describe her as composed. Every Friday evening she lies in a darkened bedroom for hours, and she rehearses small talk on the tram each morning. Lately she has started to wonder whether the person she has been for 20 years was ever really her.
I would start by asking Sienna what her week costs her, hour by hour, because she has never been allowed to count it. In a first video session she would probably notice how much of her day goes into seeming fine, and that her exhaustion is a sensible response, not a weakness.
I have presented this clinical example as a compound of 22 years of clinical practice.
You have adapted, observed and copied for years, and the effort has started to cost more than it gives.
There is no right moment and no required reason to begin. A sense that you are running out of energy for being in the world is enough. You do not need a formal identification, a tidy story or a breakdown first. In 22 years of practice I have worked with many autistic adults who doubted they deserved help because they were still coping on the outside, and I know when that coping has become too expensive.
I will help you work out what is overloading you, what you are protecting and what needs to change. These 6 questions may help you decide whether to contact me.
If they do, that is information, not failure. A commute, an open-plan office, a lunch with colleagues and a supermarket on the way home can each seem small. Together they leave you with nothing, and evenings and weekends become recovery rather than life.
I would look at where your energy goes during an ordinary week and which demands you never chose. That shows whether this is a demanding season or a long-term pattern that needs changing. If this sounds like you, book a session with me and we can map your week together.
Both are true, because they meet different needs. Part of you wants to be known, to share what you love and to belong somewhere. Another part knows that social contact costs energy you may not get back for days, and quietly says no to invitations.
I do not treat the wish for closeness or the wish for solitude as a problem to fix. Each protects something real. I help you understand both, so you can build relationships on terms that suit you, with fewer people perhaps, and with less performance.
Many autistic people have learned that they can upset people without knowing why. So an unanswered message or a change in someone’s tone can set off hours of searching. You replay what you said, look for the hidden rule you might have broken and sometimes send a careful message to check.
Your need to understand where you stand is completely reasonable. I help you calm the alarm that expects to have caused offence, check what you actually know and ask people directly, in words that feel natural to you. We also look at who in your life is safe to ask.
Yes, this happens, and it can feel contradictory even to you. You long for a friend’s company, and then halfway through the evening the noise, the eye contact and the unspoken rules become too much, and you need to leave immediately. Afterwards you feel guilty or worry they think you are rude.
In our sessions I help you slow this down and notice the point where contact turns into overload, often well before you leave. I have compassion for the urge to escape, and I will help you find honest ways to say you need to go, so that leaving does not damage the relationship.
Strong emotions, raised voices or someone needing a lot from you can feel like an invasion. You may go blank, answer in short factual sentences or withdraw completely. People sometimes read this as coldness, when inside you are overwhelmed.
My view is that needing distance to cope is not a flaw, and I will not ask you to tolerate unlimited emotional pressure. I help you understand what the shutdown protects, stay present a little longer where you choose to, and tell people what you need before you disappear.
Late identification can bring huge relief, and also grief and confusion. If you spent decades copying other people to fit in, you may not know which of your habits are truly yours. That uncertainty is a sign of how much you adapted, not of anything missing in you.
I help you look at your history with new understanding and sort what you want to keep from what you learned only to survive. I will challenge you when you shrink yourself, but I will not impose an identity. The aim is to know yourself more clearly and build a life that fits.
If you saw yourself here, you can request a call or book a session. Writing to me first is also completely fine.
You can also send me an email
Tell me briefly what kind of support you are looking for.
Include your country and time zone so we can discuss whether online work together is possible and find a suitable time.
You do not need to explain your whole story in your first message.
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Understanding yourself as autistic matters, but therapy also has to change how you spend your energy, set limits and choose your life.
Working with me will help you see what drains you, recognise the patterns that keep you overloaded and change how you live, work and relate. Knowing that you are autistic is a beginning, not the whole of the work.
In 22 years of practice I have found that autistic clients usually prefer clarity to vague reassurance. I will tell you what I notice, explain my reasoning and challenge you when a belief keeps you stuck. The 6 questions below describe what we work towards.
Related reading: Why do people like me but not really know me? and Why can’t I stop going over things in my head?.
I help you separate the core difficulty from its effects. Exhaustion, irritability and low mood are real, yet they are often the result of something else: years of masking, a sensory environment that never fits, or relationships that only work if you hide your needs.
I give you my professional reading of what deserves attention first and challenge explanations that blame you for being tired. When you are ready, book a session with me and we can start with your week as it really is.
By learning its early signs. There is usually a sequence: sounds become sharper, words take longer to find, your patience shortens and your body wants to retreat. Seeing the first step gives you a moment in which you can act.
I help you map that sequence and understand what triggers it and what it protects. Recognising it is not enough. We work out small, concrete actions, such as leaving earlier or asking for quiet, and you try them between sessions.
Regulation does not mean looking calm for others. It means knowing what your system needs and giving it that before overload takes your choices away. For many autistic people that means less input, predictable routines, movement or time with a special interest.
I help you notice activation sooner and build recovery into your week, rather than only after a collapse. I will ask you to experiment between sessions and report back honestly, because what helps one autistic person may not help another.
Clear communication begins with knowing what you need and what belongs to you. If you have often been told you are too direct, too sensitive or too much, you may now say nothing, explain everything or apologise before you start.
Together we find language that is honest, specific and fits you. I challenge both self-silencing and the expectation that others should guess. We often prepare real requests, such as asking for a quieter desk, written agendas or a different way of handling family visits.
Decisions become clearer when you separate fear of the unknown, habit and other people’s expectations from what you actually know and value. Uncertainty can be physically uncomfortable for autistic people, so some choices get postponed far too long.
I help you gather what can be known, name what cannot, and look at what each option would ask of you. You will have my honest perspective, and I will name avoidance when I see it, but the choice stays yours.
Change has to reach your everyday life: how you work, how you rest, where you live and who you spend time with. You may need fewer social obligations, more predictable routines, a quieter home or friendships built around shared interests rather than small talk.
Together we sort what genuinely needs changing from what only looked wrong through other people’s eyes. Your directness, your focus and your need for quiet are not the problem. The aim is a life organised around how you actually function, with less performance and more choice.
You can also send me an email
You do not need a formal identification, a complete history or the right words. We begin with what is hard now.
When you begin, I listen carefully, help you name the central difficulty and give our work a clear structure. You can ask me to rephrase, to slow down or to explain what I mean, and you do not need to look at the camera.
Autism work sits inside my online psychotherapy, where we look at your inner world and your relationships in a structured way. If the strain lives mainly with your partner and they are willing, online couples therapy offers long-term relational development and healing. If you prefer to know the plan in advance, a therapy bundle gives you savings and a predictable structure.
In the first session I ask what has brought you now, what drains you and what helps, what you have tried and what you would like to change. I will tell you in advance roughly how the hour will go, and you do not need to share your whole life story.
Near the end of the hour I tell you how I understand things so far and where I would suggest we go. You decide whether my way of working suits you. If you want to ask questions first, book a free 30-minute call.
Individual work is right when the focus is you: your energy, history, identity, sensory life and the way you move through work and relationships. We can explore your relationships closely without anyone else joining.
I give you direction, continuity and honest challenge over time. If you are not sure whether to focus on autism or your life more broadly, online psychotherapy describes my structured individual work as a whole.
Couples therapy is a better choice when the relationship itself needs sustained attention. If your partner feels shut out while you feel overwhelmed, if the same misunderstanding keeps returning or if trust has worn thin, working together usually helps more.
In couples work I help both of you see the cycle between you and build ways of relating that suit both nervous systems. Online couples therapy is long-term relational development and healing, and online neurodiverse couples therapy focuses on relationships where autism is part of the picture.
That depends on how much strain you are under, how much energy sessions take and how much continuity you need. Some autistic people prefer a fixed weekly slot for predictability, others need more space between sessions to recover.
I usually suggest the same day and time each week at first, so you know what to expect. I will tell you honestly if gaps are too long or if we can safely meet less often. If constant switching drains you, a planned block of sessions close together is another option.
A bundle makes sense when you know the work will take a number of sessions and you prefer a plan to repeated decisions. Many autistic people find that knowing the structure in advance makes therapy feel safer.
A bundle reduces the price of each session and gives you a fixed, predictable plan. I will help you decide whether it fits. The fixed options are laid out on therapy discounts and bundles, and as cards lower on this page.
Therapy has done its job when you understand your own patterns, protect your energy more deliberately and live with less masking where it matters. You remain autistic, and that is not the problem we are solving.
I review progress with you openly and explain my reasoning. I do not encourage therapy for its own sake. Sessions can become less frequent, pause or end, and returning later with something new is a sensible choice, not a failure.
Not sure this is where to begin? Here is how it sits beside the options autistic people most often consider.
| Option | Choose it when | Pace |
|---|---|---|
| Online autism psychotherapy (this page) | Masking, overload and misunderstanding shape your daily life. | Weekly 1-hour video sessions at a fixed time |
| Online neurodiverse psychotherapy | You want to explore neurodivergence broadly, without one label. | 1-hour video sessions at a pace you choose |
| Acute online autism psychotherapy | You are in burnout, meltdown or collapse right now. | Video sessions within days, close together |
| Online AuDHD psychotherapy | You recognise both autism and ADHD in yourself. | Weekly 1-hour video sessions |
Online autism psychotherapy with me is individual psychotherapy by video, in English, for autistic adults and people exploring whether they are autistic. It helps you understand masking, overload, relationships and identity, and change how you live so that it costs you less.
I work in depth with the whole person, not a list of traits, and I do not try to make you less autistic. I do not diagnose. It is part of my online neurodiverse psychotherapy.
Come when the effort of daily life is costing you your health, relationships or sense of self, or when you keep falling into periods of exhaustion. If part of you knows things cannot continue like this, trust that.
I look at how long the strain has been building, what you have given up to cope and whether recovery still works. When the same collapse keeps returning, it deserves careful attention.
Yes, it can help you understand what led to burnout, reduce the load and build a life that is less likely to repeat it. Recovery takes time, and I cannot promise how quickly things will change.
In my clinical experience, autistic burnout often follows years of masking in demanding environments. I would focus on what you can stop, simplify or change, and on the beliefs that keep you pushing. If you are in collapse right now, acute online autism psychotherapy starts sooner.
Yes. No assessment report or formal label is needed to work with me. Many people come with a strong suspicion or a recent realisation.
I do not diagnose or test. I work with what you experience and need. If a formal assessment would help you, I will say so, and you can arrange it with a qualified assessor where you live.
Both are ways of trying to be understood and safe. Over-explaining tries to prevent being misread. Silence protects you when explaining feels hopeless. Both make sense after years of being misunderstood.
I help you see which you use in which situations and what each costs. Then we build options in between: saying the essential thing clearly and briefly, and stepping back without cutting people off.
I aim to make it as predictable as possible. I tell you how the hour will go, ask clear questions and give you time to answer. When the hour ends, you leave knowing how I see things and what I would propose next.
You do not need to prepare, keep eye contact or find perfect words. If you want, you can send me a few written notes beforehand. When you feel ready, choose a first session, or test the format on a free 30-minute call.
Plan for a course of sessions over several months, not a single conversation. That is usually enough to understand your pattern and begin making changes. If there is a history of burnout or painful experiences, it often takes longer.
In 22 years of practice I have found that autistic clients do well with an agreed first stretch and a known review date. When that date comes, we choose openly between carrying on, spacing sessions out and stopping.
For many, it is easier than meeting in person. You control the light, sound and temperature, avoid a waiting room and do not have to travel. You can look away from the screen whenever you need to.
On the practical side, a closed door, headphones, a laptop or tablet and a dependable connection are all you need. Session times appear in your local time zone, and the link works the same way each week. If you have questions, ask them on a free call or by message.
Each session is a 1-hour online individual psychotherapy appointment containing 50 minutes of therapy. For the current fee in US dollars, look at my prices page.
For longer work, a therapy bundle saves you 10 per cent and gives you a fixed plan. Details are on therapy discounts and bundles.
Book your first session, or request a free 30-minute call if you prefer to talk first. Every slot in the booking calendar is shown in your own time.
If speaking feels hard, or no time suits you, write to me directly. I hold some room for acute cases, usually a time within days, and acute online autism psychotherapy explains that help. Choose a time when you are ready, and we will begin from there.
You can also send me an email
I want therapy to help you understand your experience and make choices you can use in everyday life. We pay attention to feelings, needs and the responses that happen before you have time to think.
Our online room should offer enough trust and honesty to explore what is difficult. I bring attention and professional judgement. You bring your experience, questions and the right to say when something does not fit.
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P.S. I’ll call you in a bit!
