In this short video, I explain what usually happens in the half-second before an untrue answer slips out, and how we work with that moment by video.
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Online compulsive lying therapy helps you understand and change a habit of lying you no longer want: the reflex untruths, the polished stories and the cover-ups that grow faster than you can track them. We meet one to one on video, in English, in 1-hour appointments with 50 minutes of therapy, at a time that works in your time zone.
I do not moralise and I am not here to catch you out. I help you find what the lie protects, where the habit started and what keeps it alive, so that the truth becomes something you can actually say. This page sits under online addiction therapy, within my online psychotherapy. If the lies mostly hide betting and debts, online gambling addiction therapy may fit you more closely.
Whenever you are ready, request a free 30-minute call, book a video session, look at my client policy or get in touch.
Online compulsive lying therapy is for English-speaking adults, wherever they are in the world, who lie more often than they want to and cannot seem to stop. Some lies are tiny and pointless, others are big enough to threaten a job or a relationship. You are tired of remembering versions, afraid of exposure and ready to understand why it keeps happening.
Lying can be part of several struggles, and some of them call for a different starting point. Where a line below fits you more closely, its link will help more.
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These reviews describe clients’ experiences of working with me. They come from my wider practice and do not all relate to online sessions. Each person’s experience is their own, and a review does not promise a particular outcome.
“If I look back over recent client cases, almost every person who came to me about lying was, underneath, terrified of being an ordinary disappointment. The lie is rarely about deceiving anyone. It is a split-second shield against a look of disapproval. Underneath it I hear ‘Will you still like me if you see the real version?’ and its quieter twin, ‘Do not ask, I will manage this on my own.’ Many people carry a third voice too: ‘Know me completely, but never get close enough to see.’ So I think promising to stop is the wrong first step. The useful step is to slow down the second before the lie, and find out what you are protecting in it.”
Mark Colclough, MA, psychotherapist and EFT couples therapist
I am Mark Colclough, MA. I have practised since 2004 and offer online psychotherapy and couples therapy in English.
My training brings together your emotions, your thoughts and your relationships. My deep passion is the moment when what happens between you finally makes sense, to each of you and to each other. I have lived and worked in nine countries, so I know something of life across languages, cultures and borders.
Read about my background, or explore online psychotherapy and online couples therapy.
I meet regularly with experienced psychotherapists to reflect on my work, question my understanding and develop my skills. Supervision is part of the professional care I bring to individual and couples work, including online sessions.
My focus is thoughtful practice, integrity and responsibility.
You are welcome to ask about the kind of support you need.
Tell me where you are based and your time zone. We can then consider whether online sessions together are suitable.
Noor is 35, a marketing consultant who grew up in Amsterdam and now lives in Dubai. She tells her husband she had a client lunch when she sat alone in a café. She tells her mother on video calls that her business is booming, when 2 contracts have just ended. Last month her husband found a hotel receipt that did not match her story. Nothing had happened, yet she could not explain why she had lied, and he now asks where she is every afternoon.
I would begin with the moment before the untruth, not with the lie itself. In our first video session Noor would probably notice that the false answer arrives whenever she senses a flicker of judgement, and that this fear is much older than her marriage. That gives us something real to work with.
I have presented this clinical example as a compound of 22 years of clinical practice.
You have promised yourself to stop many times, and the next untrue answer still arrives before you have chosen it.
There is no right moment or required number of lies before you come. A feeling that lying has more control over your conversations than you do is enough. You do not need a diagnosis, a dramatic exposure or a list of every untruth. In 22 years of practice I have met many people who lie by reflex, and I know when the habit has hardened into something that needs proper attention.
I will help you see what happens in the moment you lie, what keeps the habit going and what has to change. The 6 questions below can help you decide whether to book.
If so, take that seriously. You rehearse what you told whom, check messages to stay consistent and feel a jolt when two people who know different versions meet. Ordinary conversations start to feel risky, and you come home exhausted from managing them.
I would look at when the lying began, which situations trigger it and whether it is growing. That shows whether this is stress or a pattern with its own momentum. If this sounds familiar, book a session with me and we can look at it calmly.
Both wishes are genuine. One part of you values honesty and wants to be trusted. Another part has learned that the truth can bring disapproval, conflict or shame, and it moves faster than your intentions. When these collide, the lie wins in a fraction of a second.
I do not treat the frightened part as the enemy. In psychosynthesis we approach each inner part with curiosity, asking what it is trying to protect. I help you understand the fear behind the lie, so you can respond to it more consciously and let honesty become safer.
For many people that is the heart of it. A small frown, a pause or a question can feel like the start of rejection. You quickly adjust the facts, add a reason or make yourself look better, and only afterwards realise the truth would have been fine.
Wanting approval and closeness is human, and I will not shame it. I help you notice how quickly the fear of disappointing someone turns into a lie, and practise staying with that discomfort long enough to say what is true.
This contradiction is common with compulsive lying. You may long for a partner or friend who knows everything, then feel exposed when they begin to see you. A lie creates distance just when the closeness becomes real, and then you feel lonely behind it.
I help you slow down that cycle and find what makes intimacy feel dangerous. We look at the moment closeness turns into threat. I have compassion for the part of you that hides, and I will also ask you to take responsibility for the hurt that hiding can cause.
For some people, lying is a way to keep space. When others ask too many questions or seem to want too much, you give a vague or untrue answer and step back. It feels easier than saying you need privacy or time.
Needing privacy is legitimate, and I will not ask you to give it up. I help you see what the distance protects, and practise saying ‘I would rather not talk about that’ so a boundary can replace the lie.
After years of adjusting stories, it is easy to feel you are many people at once: the success, the helper, the one who never makes mistakes. You may wonder who you are when no one is watching. That confusion reflects long protection, not an empty core.
I help you separate your genuine values and wishes from the roles you have been playing, including patterns you may have learned in your family. I will challenge you when you hide behind a story, but I will not impose a new one. The aim is a self you can stand behind.
If lying showed up in these questions, a free call is a gentle first step, and booking a session lets you begin straight away.
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Tell me briefly what kind of support you are looking for.
Include your country and time zone so we can discuss whether online work together is possible and find a suitable time.
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Understanding why you lie is important, but the work must also change what you say when the next simple question comes.
Working with me will help you understand what happens just before a lie, recognise the patterns that keep it going and make changes in real conversations. Insight is useful, but it has to reach the moment when someone asks where you were.
Over 22 years of practice I have seen honesty grow fastest when I take an active part. I will support you, tell you what I see and challenge the reasons that keep the habit safe. The 6 questions below show where we are heading.
Related reading: I know exactly why I do it. Why can’t I stop? and Are my trust issues about my partner or about me?.
I help you separate the lie from the need underneath it. The untruths, the cover stories and the broken trust are real, but they usually serve a purpose: avoiding conflict, protecting your image, keeping a secret or escaping a feeling of being trapped.
I offer my honest view of what the lies are doing for you and challenge explanations that keep you stuck. When you feel ready, book a session with me and we start with one ordinary example.
You can learn the early signs. There is often a tiny sequence: a question, a jolt in the chest, a quick thought of ‘they will be upset’, then the untrue answer. Spotting the first part gives you a chance to pause.
I help you slow this chain down in sessions until you can see it in real time. Recognition alone is not enough, so we practise simple truthful responses, such as ‘let me think for a second’, until you can use them at work and at home.
Calming the panic does not mean pretending you are not scared. It means staying present enough to notice the fear and still choose what to say. The jolt that drives a lie usually passes within moments if you can wait.
I help you notice that jolt earlier and understand what your body is responding to, often an old memory of being shamed or punished. We build small ways to steady yourself, and I will ask you to practise them in everyday conversations between sessions.
Clear speech starts with knowing what you feel and what you are responsible for. After a long habit of lying, the truth can come out tangled, with too many reasons, or not at all because you fear the reaction.
I help you find words that are honest, brief and proportionate. I challenge both silence and the wish for others to make the truth easier for you. We often rehearse a real conversation, perhaps with a partner or a parent who lives in another time zone.
Decisions become clearer when you separate fear, guilt and other people’s reactions from what you actually want and value. Not every past lie needs a public confession, but some truths do need saying.
I help you look at your options and the likely consequences of each, from repairing trust with one person to changing how you answer in future. I will give you my view and name avoidance when I see it, but the choice about what to share stays yours.
Lasting change means relationships where you can be ordinary, make mistakes and still feel accepted. You may need clearer boundaries, slower answers, new routines with friends and family, and a different way of handling disappointment.
Together we sort out which habits of speech must go and which can stay. Your wish to be liked and to protect yourself is human. The aim is a life where honesty feels possible because you no longer need a story to be safe.
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You do not need to confess everything or explain your whole history. We start with one recent moment and what you want to change.
When you begin, I listen carefully, help you describe the pattern and give our work a clear direction. You do not have to list every lie or arrive with a neat explanation.
This therapy is part of my online psychotherapy, individual work on your inner life and how you relate to others. If you and your partner both want to repair trust, online couples therapy offers long-term relational development and healing. When you know the work will take time, a therapy bundle brings savings and the security of a clear plan.
In the first session I ask what brought you now, when the lying happens most, what you have tried and what you want to be different. We stay with present examples rather than your entire past.
By the end, I share my first understanding and suggest a direction, and you decide whether it feels useful. If you want to talk before committing, you can book a free 30-minute call.
Individual work fits when the lying lives mainly in you: your fears, your history, your shame and your way of protecting yourself. We can explore how it affects relationships without anyone else in the room.
I provide direction, continuity and honest challenge week by week. If the lies seem to be part of a wider pattern, online addiction therapy and my online psychotherapy show how structured individual work fits together.
Couples therapy helps more when the relationship itself needs repair: repeated discoveries have broken trust, one partner checks while the other hides, or every conversation turns into a test.
In couples work I help you both see the cycle between you and take responsibility for your parts. Online couples therapy is long-term relational development and healing. Many people start alone and bring their partner in once they can speak more truthfully.
The pace depends on how often the lying happens, how much is at stake and how much continuity you need to keep practising.
I usually recommend weekly sessions at first, so each week gives us fresh examples to work with. I will tell you when sessions are too far apart and when it is safe to meet less often. Some people use a short back-to-back block before a major conversation.
A bundle makes sense when you know you need several sessions and want a steady commitment rather than deciding each time. A plan reduces the temptation to disappear when the work gets uncomfortable.
It lowers the cost of each session and gives you the safety of an agreed structure. I can help you judge whether it fits. Have a look at therapy discounts and bundles and the cards below.
The work has done its job when honesty feels more possible, you can pause before answering and the old reflex no longer controls your conversations. An urge to embellish may still appear, but it no longer leads you.
I review progress openly and do not keep you in therapy longer than needed. Sessions can space out, pause or end. Returning later with a new difficulty does not mean the earlier work was wasted.
Unsure whether this is the right place to begin? Here is how online compulsive lying therapy compares with nearby options.
| Option | Choose it when | Pace |
|---|---|---|
| Online compulsive lying therapy (this page) | Lies come out by reflex, and you want to understand and change the habit. | Weekly 1-hour video sessions at first |
| Online gambling addiction therapy | The lies mostly hide betting, losses or debts. | Weekly video sessions, closer early on |
| Online addiction therapy | Another habit or substance is the main thing you hide. | Weekly 1-hour video sessions |
| Online shame therapy | A sense of not being good enough feels bigger than the lying. | Video sessions at a steady pace |
Online compulsive lying therapy with me is individual psychotherapy by video, in English, for adults who lie more than they want to and cannot easily stop. It helps you understand what the lies protect, where the habit started and what keeps it going.
I do not moralise. I work with the whole person, including your feelings, relationships and family history. It sits within my online addiction therapy.
Come when lying causes stress, hurts relationships or happens even when the truth would be easier. If you are worried about it, that is enough reason to look closer.
I look at how often the lies happen, what they protect and what they cost you. If the habit continues despite real efforts to stop, it deserves attention.
Yes, often it can. Therapy can help you understand the reflex and practise honest responses until they feel safer. I cannot promise a set outcome, and change takes practice.
In my clinical experience, the lie usually protects something tender, such as fear of rejection or shame. When that need is understood, the urge often loosens. We focus on that, alongside practical ways to respond differently.
No. Therapy is not about a full public confession. It is about understanding the habit and changing how you speak from now on.
Some truths may need to be told to repair trust, and I will help you think about those carefully. We decide what matters, to whom and when, rather than following a rule that every past lie must be confessed.
Both are attempts to stay safe. For some people lying protects them from disappointing others. For others it keeps a little distance when closeness feels exposing. It is a learned way of coping, not proof that you are bad.
I help you notice which pattern is strongest for you, what it protects and what it costs. Then we practise more honest ways to ask for acceptance or space.
We start with now. I ask about recent lies, what happens just before them and what you want to change. Before we finish, you hear how I read the pattern and where I suggest we go.
You do not need to prepare a list or know why you lie. Many people feel embarrassed at first, and that is a good place to begin. Choose a session or start with a free call.
Expect a course of regular sessions over a few months rather than a quick fix. Short habits may change sooner, while lifelong patterns often need longer.
From 22 years of practice, I recommend a clear first phase with honest reviews. Each review is a joint choice about whether to keep going, thin the sessions out or close.
For many people, yes. Speaking from your own space can make it easier to be honest, and video keeps therapy steady if you travel or live abroad.
A laptop or tablet, headphones, a steady internet line and a door you can close are enough. Where home offers no privacy, people often use a parked car or an empty office. We can check practical questions on a free call.
You book individual psychotherapy with me in 1-hour video sessions that each hold 50 minutes of therapy. For the fee as it stands today, in US dollars, see my prices page.
If you expect a longer course, a therapy bundle saves you 10 per cent and gives you a structured plan. See therapy discounts and bundles for the options.
Book your first session, or ask for a free 30-minute call if you want to talk first. All times are shown in your local time zone.
If no time fits, or a recent discovery has made things urgent, contact me. I keep some room for acute cases, usually within days, and acute online psychotherapy explains that support. Book when you are ready to start.
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I want therapy to help you understand your experience and make choices you can use in everyday life. We pay attention to feelings, needs and the responses that happen before you have time to think.
Our online room should offer enough trust and honesty to explore what is difficult. I bring attention and professional judgement. You bring your experience, questions and the right to say when something does not fit.
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P.S. I’ll call you in a bit!
