In this short video, I explain why so many women only notice their own exhaustion once everyone else is looked after, and how we start to change that by video.
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Online psychotherapy for women helps you make sense of what you are carrying, from the unseen running of a household and a career to old habits of pleasing, guilt and self-doubt. We meet alone, you and I, by video and in English, in 1-hour sessions that hold 50 minutes of therapy, at a time that suits your time zone.
I help you notice what you feel before you have edited it for others, see where those habits began and make choices that fit the life you actually want. This page is the women’s entrance to my online psychotherapy. If a single thread pulls hardest, you will find more targeted pages on stress, anxiety, codependency and people pleasing and guilt.
When you are ready to put yourself on the list for once, ask for a free 30-minute call, choose a session, read through my client policy or message me.
Online psychotherapy for women is for English-speaking women, wherever they live, who keep a great deal going and have lost touch with what they need themselves. You may be capable, liked and relied on, and still feel tired, tense or quietly resentful. You want a place where you do not have to look after anyone, and help to change patterns you have outgrown.
A few situations are better served by a more specific page. Where a line below describes you, that link is a closer fit.
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These reviews describe clients’ experiences of working with me. They come from my wider practice and do not all relate to online sessions. Each person’s experience is their own, and a review does not promise a particular outcome.
“In my clinical experience, the women who come to me are seldom short of insight. They can describe everyone’s needs in the family with great accuracy, except their own. I think that is the real work: not learning more about yourself, but allowing what you already know to count. Underneath I often hear ‘If I stop holding it all, will anyone stay?’, and next to it a tired, proud ‘I will handle it, I always do.’ Some women carry a third voice that pulls both ways: ‘See me, and please do not look too closely.’ When those voices are heard rather than managed, a woman often discovers she has been asking permission for a life that was already hers.”
Mark Colclough, MA, psychotherapist and EFT couples therapist
I am Mark Colclough, MA. I have practised since 2004 and offer online psychotherapy and couples therapy in English.
My training brings together your emotions, your thoughts and your relationships. My deep passion is the moment when what happens between you finally makes sense, to each of you and to each other. I have lived and worked in nine countries, so I know something of life across languages, cultures and borders.
Read about my background, or explore online psychotherapy and online couples therapy.
I meet regularly with experienced psychotherapists to reflect on my work, question my understanding and develop my skills. Supervision is part of the professional care I bring to individual and couples work, including online sessions.
My focus is thoughtful practice, integrity and responsibility.
You are welcome to ask about the kind of support you need.
Tell me where you are based and your time zone. We can then consider whether online sessions together are suitable.
Valentina is 39, an Italian architect living in Zurich with her Swiss partner and their 4-year-old daughter. On paper they share everything. In practice Valentina knows when the nursery needs nappies, when her partner’s mother has a birthday and what is left in the freezer. She snaps over a dishwasher, then cries in the bathroom and tells herself she is being unreasonable. Her firm has just offered her a partnership, and her first feeling was dread.
I would begin with the dread rather than the dishwasher, because it usually points to what has been pushed aside. In our first video session Valentina would probably notice that the partnership feels like one more thing to hold, and that she has never asked herself what she wants her days to feel like.
I have presented this clinical example as a compound of 22 years of clinical practice.
You have adapted, coped and kept everyone else going, and now your own life feels like the item that never reaches the top of the list.
There is no correct moment and no qualifying problem for starting therapy. A feeling that your life has drifted away from you, or that you are giving far more than you receive, is enough. You do not need a diagnosis, a collapse or a clear explanation before we meet. In 22 years of practice I have sat with many women who said they were only a little tired, and I can tell when that tiredness has become a pattern that needs attention.
I will help you see what is happening, what keeps it in place and what needs to shift. Let these 6 questions show you whether the moment to write to me has come.
If so, take it seriously. You remember the appointments, smooth the tensions and keep work deadlines while your own needs wait for a later that never comes. By the evening you are drained and slightly numb, and time for yourself feels like a luxury you have not earned.
I would look at how long you have lived like this and what it is costing your health, your mood and your relationships. That shows whether this is a demanding phase or a deeper pattern. If you recognise yourself, book a session with me and we can begin untangling it.
Both feelings can sit side by side, because they protect different things. One part of you longs for rest, ambition, pleasure or simply your own space. Another part learned early that being good meant putting others first, and it sounds the alarm whenever you step out of line.
I do not ask you to silence either part. In psychosynthesis we treat these as inner voices with their own history and purpose. I help you see what each protects, so you can choose more freely, without guilt deciding for you every time.
Many women feel this. A short reply, a closed door or a change in someone’s tone can send you searching for what you did wrong. You replay conversations, check in to make sure everything is fine and struggle to relax until you feel reassured.
Your wish for closeness and harmony is legitimate, and I will not make you feel foolish for it. I help you calm the alarm underneath, often an old fear of being left or not mattering, and practise asking directly instead of guessing and over-giving.
This pattern is more common than people admit. You may want your partner to be more present, then feel crowded as soon as they are. You may seek a friend’s support, then regret saying so much. It can feel confusing even to you.
I help you slow that swing down and notice the moment closeness turns into pressure. Often it relates to old experiences of having to care for others or be watched closely. I have compassion for these protective responses, and I will also ask you to own the moves that hurt people you love.
Sometimes the only way to get space is to disappear quietly. When demands pile up, you become efficient and distant, reply in short sentences or retreat into tasks. It can feel like the only place no one asks anything of you.
Wanting time that belongs to you alone is not a failing, and I will not talk you out of it. I help you see what the withdrawal protects and how to set limits before you are depleted. You learn to say ‘I need an evening to myself’ before resentment builds a wall.
Years of being the reliable daughter, partner, mother or colleague can blur your sense of self. When someone asks what you want, you may only know what others need from you. That uncertainty reflects how much you have adapted, not that you are empty.
I help you separate the expectations you absorbed from the wishes that are truly yours, including what came down through the women in your family. When you make yourself smaller I will say so, yet the question of who you become stays in your hands. The aim is a clearer sense of who you are and the life that fits you.
If these questions touched something, a free call gives you room to talk it through, or you can book a session and begin.
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Tell me briefly what kind of support you are looking for.
Include your country and time zone so we can discuss whether online work together is possible and find a suitable time.
You do not need to explain your whole story in your first message.
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Understanding your patterns matters, but therapy also has to change how you say yes, how you rest and how you make choices.
Working with me will help you understand what is happening underneath the strain, recognise the patterns that keep you over-giving and make changes that improve your days. Insight is valuable, but it has to show up in your calendar, your relationships and your sense of self.
In 22 years of practice I have found that change comes faster when I take an active role. I will support you, tell you what I notice and gently challenge habits that keep you small. The 6 questions below show where we will focus.
Related reading: Why am I the one who has to remember everything? and Why do I feel like I am losing myself?.
I help you separate the central problem from its symptoms. The tiredness, irritability and self-doubt are real, but they are often signs of something deeper: unmet needs, grief, fear of disappointing others or a lifetime of being the capable one.
I give you my honest view of what needs attention first and which explanations are keeping you stuck, such as ‘I should be able to manage this’. When you are ready, book a session with me and we start with what feels heaviest.
You can learn the early signs. There is often a sequence: someone asks for something, you feel a small knot in your stomach, think ‘it will be easier if I just do it’, and agree. Seeing that moment gives you a choice.
I help you slow the sequence down and look at what it protects you from. Recognising the pattern is only part of the work. We practise new responses until you can use them with your boss, your partner or your mother on an ordinary day.
Calming down does not mean pretending you are fine. It means staying present enough to notice what you feel and choose what you need. Overwhelm often builds quietly until it bursts out as tears, anger or numbness.
I help you notice the build-up earlier and understand what your nervous system is reacting to. We find small, realistic ways to steady yourself, and I will encourage you to practise them between sessions, not only when you reach breaking point.
Clear communication starts with knowing what you feel and what is yours to ask for. If you were taught to be accommodating, your needs may come out as hints, complaints or long explanations, or not at all.
I help you find words that are direct, warm and proportionate. I will challenge both self-silencing and expecting others to read your mind. We often rehearse a real conversation, perhaps with your partner, your manager or family back home.
Decisions become clearer when you separate fear, guilt and other people’s expectations from what you actually want. Women are often asked to decide while considering everyone else first.
I help you explore your options and what each would require, whether it is about work, children, a move or a relationship. I will give you my perspective and challenge avoidance, but the final choice stays with you.
Lasting change has to reach your ordinary weeks. You may need firmer boundaries, a fairer share of the mental load, time for rest or creativity, and relationships where you can be honest without fear.
Together we sort what in your week needs to change from what is already right. Care, sensitivity and responsibility are strengths, not problems. The aim is a life that reflects your values rather than everyone else’s demands.
You can also send me an email
Come as you are, mid-thought and unsure where to start. I begin with this week and with what you would most like to be different.
When you begin, I listen carefully, help you name the main difficulty and give our work a clear direction from the first session. You do not need to recount your whole history.
This page is one entrance into my online psychotherapy, structured individual work on your inner life and your relationships. If the main difficulty lies between you and a willing partner, online couples therapy offers long-term relational development and healing. If you already know you want regular sessions, a therapy bundle gives savings and the safety of a plan.
In the first session I ask what brought you now, what feels hardest, what you have tried and what you hope will change. We focus on the present.
Before the hour ends I tell you what I am beginning to see, and you weigh up whether my way of working suits you. Prefer a conversation first? A free 30-minute call is there for that.
Individual work fits when the focus is your inner life: your emotions, history, identity, decisions and relationships. We can explore your partner, family or work without anyone else joining.
Each week I bring a sense of direction, remember where we left off and challenge you honestly. If you are unsure where to begin, online psychotherapy describes my structured individual work as a whole.
Couples therapy is better when the relationship itself needs sustained attention: repeated arguments, emotional distance, a breach of trust or a pattern where one of you pursues and the other withdraws.
In couples work I help you both see the cycle between you and build safer ways of relating. Online couples therapy is long-term relational development and healing, and some women start alone before inviting a partner.
The pace depends on how heavy things feel, how much space your life has and how much continuity you need.
To start with, I tend to propose a session every week or every second week. I will tell you if the gaps are too long or if we can meet less often. Some women choose a few sessions back-to-back when travelling or between busy periods.
A bundle makes sense when you know you want several sessions and prefer a steady commitment to deciding every time. It protects your therapy from being pushed aside by everyone else’s needs.
It reduces the cost per session and gives you a clear plan. I can help you see whether it fits. Look at therapy discounts and bundles and the cards below.
Therapy has done its job when you feel more ownership of your life, clearer about what you need and able to act on it without the same support. Old pressures may return, but they no longer decide for you.
We look at your progress together, and I have no wish to keep you in therapy indefinitely. Sessions can become less frequent, pause or end. Coming back later with a new challenge does not mean the earlier work failed.
Not sure where to start? Here is how online psychotherapy for women compares with the options women most often weigh up.
| Option | Choose it when | Pace |
|---|---|---|
| Online psychotherapy for women (this page) | You carry a great deal and have lost sight of your own needs. | Weekly or fortnightly 1-hour video sessions |
| Online codependency and people pleasing therapy | Pleasing others is the main pattern you want to change. | Weekly video sessions |
| Online burnout therapy | Exhaustion has taken over and you can barely function. | A focused course of video sessions |
| Online guilt therapy | Guilt shapes almost every choice you make. | Weekly 1-hour video sessions |
Online psychotherapy for women with me is individual psychotherapy by video, in English, for women who want to understand what they are carrying and make changes that fit their lives. It focuses on the person as a whole, not just the symptoms.
I work with feelings, relationships, history and what you inherited from your family. This is the women’s entrance to my online psychotherapy.
Come when you feel depleted, resentful, anxious or disconnected from yourself, or when you notice you are always last on your own list. If part of you wonders, that matters.
I look at how long you have been carrying this, how it affects your health and relationships and what you have given up. If it keeps returning, it deserves attention.
Yes, often it can. Therapy helps you understand why pleasing feels necessary and practise new responses. I cannot promise how much will change, but many women find they gain more choice.
In my clinical experience, pleasing usually began as a smart way to stay safe or loved. We look at what it protected then and whether you still need it now, and then practise more honest ways of relating.
No. Paying attention to your needs usually makes you more present and honest with others, not less caring.
I help you find a balance where care for others and care for yourself can exist together. That often makes relationships stronger, because they no longer depend on you disappearing.
Both are ways of trying to feel safe. Some women reach out and need reassurance. Others go quiet and manage alone. Both grew out of how you learned to cope, and neither says anything bad about you.
I help you see which way you move under pressure, what it is trying to achieve and what it costs you and others. Then we build steadier options, such as asking clearly for support or taking space without disappearing.
We start with the present. I ask what feels hardest, where it shows up and what you want to be different. Before we finish, I share what I am noticing and a possible way forward.
You do not need to prepare anything. Many women worry about saying too much or too little, and we can begin there. When you feel ready, pick a session time or start with a free call.
Think in months rather than weeks. That tends to be long enough to see the patterns clearly and start living differently, though habits formed in childhood can take longer to loosen.
Over 22 years of practice, a defined first stretch with regular, honest check-ins has worked better than an open-ended drift. At every check-in, you and I choose whether to continue, slow the pace or stop.
For most women, yes. Video lets you speak from a familiar, private space and keeps therapy steady if you move or travel.
A room with a closed door, headphones, a laptop or tablet and good internet are all you need. When home is full of people, a parked car or a quiet corner at work can serve as your therapy room. We can sort out practical questions on a free call.
You book individual psychotherapy one session at a time, each a 1-hour video appointment with 50 minutes of therapy. The fee today, in US dollars, is on my prices page.
When you can see the work will take a while, a therapy bundle takes 10 per cent off each session and sets out a plan from the beginning. The options are on therapy discounts and bundles.
You can reserve your first session today, or set up a free 30-minute call to talk it over first. Every slot in the calendar is shown in your own local time.
If none of the times fit, or things feel urgent, contact me. Some room is kept free for acute cases, often within days, which is what acute online psychotherapy is for. Then choose your time, and let this be the week you come first.
You can also send me an email
I want therapy to help you understand your experience and make choices you can use in everyday life. We pay attention to feelings, needs and the responses that happen before you have time to think.
Our online room should offer enough trust and honesty to explore what is difficult. I bring attention and professional judgement. You bring your experience, questions and the right to say when something does not fit.
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P.S. I’ll call you in a bit!
