In this short video, I explain why moving countries can be especially demanding for autistic and ADHD adults, and how we shape our video sessions so they work for your brain rather than against it.
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Neurodivergent psychotherapy, living abroad, helps autistic, ADHD and AuDHD adults whose life in another country has become harder to manage than it should be. We meet one to one by video, in English, in 1-hour sessions with 50 minutes of therapy, from a space you control, at a time that fits your time zone and your energy.
I help you understand how a new language, new routines and new unwritten rules are landing on your nervous system, and we adjust your life abroad to fit you rather than the other way round. I do not diagnose. This page belongs to my psychotherapy for people living abroad, under my online psychotherapy. If being abroad is not the main issue, online neurodiverse psychotherapy may suit you better.
When it feels manageable, you can book a free 30-minute call, pick a session, read my client policy or write to me in writing first.
Neurodivergent psychotherapy, living abroad is for adults who are autistic, have ADHD or both, or strongly suspect it, and who live in a country that is not their own. The move has multiplied the demands on your attention, senses and social energy. You want help from someone who understands both neurodivergence and life abroad, without having to explain either from scratch.
A different brain abroad can meet very different problems. Where a line below describes you more exactly, follow its link.
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These reviews describe clients’ experiences of working with me. They come from my wider practice and do not all relate to online sessions. Each person’s experience is their own, and a review does not promise a particular outcome.
“In my clinical experience, neurodivergent adults abroad almost always blame their own character for an overload that comes from the environment. They say they are failing at the language, failing at friendships, failing at paperwork. I see a nervous system carrying twice the load with half the usual supports. In the quiet behind that, one voice asks ‘Will anyone here ever like the real me, without the act?’ and another says ‘Leave me alone, I need a week with no people at all.’ Often the same person also asks for both at once: ‘Sit with me while I recover, just do not talk to me or touch me.’ When we change the load rather than the person, the self-blame usually starts to fade.”
Mark Colclough, MA, psychotherapist and EFT couples therapist
I am Mark Colclough, MA. I have practised since 2004 and offer online psychotherapy and couples therapy in English.
My training brings together your emotions, your thoughts and your relationships. My deep passion is the moment when what happens between you finally makes sense, to each of you and to each other. I have lived and worked in nine countries, so I know something of life across languages, cultures and borders.
Read about my background, or explore online psychotherapy and online couples therapy.
I meet regularly with experienced psychotherapists to reflect on my work, question my understanding and develop my skills. Supervision is part of the professional care I bring to individual and couples work, including online sessions.
My focus is thoughtful practice, integrity and responsibility.
You are welcome to ask about the kind of support you need.
Tell me where you are based and your time zone. We can then consider whether online sessions together are suitable.
Yasmin is 31 and moved from Manchester to Zurich 18 months ago for a research post. She was identified with ADHD at 26 and was managing well at home, with a fixed gym routine and friends who knew her. Here her German is basic, the lab is noisy and her residence permit renewal is 3 weeks overdue because she cannot face the forms. She works until midnight, sleeps badly and has stopped calling home.
I would start with the overdue permit, not as a lecture, but to find out exactly where the task freezes for her. In a first video session Yasmin would probably see that she is not lazy, but running without the outside scaffolding her life at home quietly gave her.
I have presented this clinical example as a compound of 22 years of clinical practice.
You have pushed yourself to adapt to a whole new country, and your brain is now paying a price that willpower cannot cover.
There is no right moment and no right reason to begin. A sense that life abroad is draining you faster than you can recover is enough. You do not need a formal diagnosis, a crisis or a clear explanation. In 22 years of practice, working with many neurodivergent adults and having lived in 9 countries myself, I can tell when the strain of adapting has become a pattern that needs attention.
I will help you understand what is happening, what keeps it going and what needs to change in your environment and routines. Read the 6 questions below with your own week abroad in mind.
If so, it is a real signal. Cooking, laundry, replying to emails and opening post may now take enormous effort, because every task abroad comes with extra steps: a new language, unfamiliar systems, different shops. By evening, you have nothing left.
I would look at which tasks drain you most and whether the exhaustion is building over time. That tells us whether you need practical restructuring, rest, or deeper work on the pressure you put on yourself. If this sounds familiar, book a session with me and we map where your energy goes.
Yes, both wishes can be true, because each protects something important. Fitting in protects your job, your residence and your chance of friendship. Dropping the act protects your energy and your sense of who you are. When both pull at once, you may mask all day and then collapse.
I do not treat either wish as the problem. We look at each as a part of you with a valid concern. I help you decide where masking is genuinely useful, where it costs too much, and how to be more yourself in the situations that matter most.
In a foreign culture, every interaction can feel like an exam you did not study for. A colleague’s short reply or a neighbour’s look may set off hours of replaying. You may ask friends at home whether you offended someone, or send follow-up messages to make sure everything is fine.
Your wish to get it right and stay connected is legitimate, and I will not shame it. What we work on is the alarm that rings before there is any real evidence. We look at where it came from, often years of being misunderstood, and you practise asking people directly instead of guessing.
Loneliness abroad can be intense, so you accept invitations eagerly. Then, an hour into the dinner, the noise and the small talk become too much, and you need to leave immediately. Afterwards you feel lonely again, and confused by your own reaction.
I help you slow this cycle down, so we can see exactly where the wish for company turns into overload. Often it is sensory, social or both. I respect the part of you that needs to escape, and I help you plan contact that fits your limits, so you are not left choosing between isolation and overwhelm.
When the outside world is loud, unfamiliar and full of rules you do not know, retreating can feel like the only way to recover. You may cancel plans, mute chats and spend weekends indoors. It helps in the short term, but the world shrinks.
My view is that you need more recovery time than most people abroad, and I will not tell you otherwise. I help you see when retreat is restoring you and when it is isolating you, and how to tell people about your limits before withdrawal becomes disconnection.
Years of adapting to neurotypical expectations, then adding the expectations of a new culture on top, can leave you unsure what you actually like, need or think. You may feel like an actor playing several roles at once. That confusion reflects how hard you have worked, not a lack of self.
I help you find what is genuinely yours: your interests, your preferences, your sensory needs and your values. I will challenge you when you erase yourself to be accepted, but I will not tell you who to be. The aim is a life abroad in which you can recognise yourself.
If these questions describe your life abroad, book a free call to talk it through, or choose a session time if you are ready to start.
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Tell me briefly what kind of support you are looking for.
Include your country and time zone so we can discuss whether online work together is possible and find a suitable time.
You do not need to explain your whole story in your first message.
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Understanding how your brain meets this new country matters, but the work must also change your routines, your environment and the way you ask for support.
I will help you understand how life abroad is landing on your mind and body, recognise the patterns that drain you, and make practical changes you can feel in a normal week. Knowing why you are overloaded helps, but only when it leads to a different setup for daily life.
Over 22 years of practice I have found that neurodivergent clients often benefit from a therapist who is clear and direct. I tell you what I notice, I offer structure and I challenge explanations that keep you blaming yourself. These 6 questions show what we work towards.
Related reading: Why does ADHD keep pulling us into the same fight? and Why am I struggling now, months after the move?.
I help you separate the root of the overload from its symptoms. Irritability, poor sleep, avoidance and shutdowns are often results rather than causes. Underneath may sit sensory overload, constant translation, lost routines, executive tasks with no support or years of masking.
I tell you what I think is happening, which pressures to address first and which explanations keep you stuck. When you are ready, book a session with me and we lay it out clearly.
By learning your own early warning signs. There is often a sequence: sounds become sharper, words take longer to find, you get irritable, then you shut down or snap. Knowing the early stage gives you a chance to step out before it peaks.
In our sessions I help you map that sequence and see what triggers it. Mapping alone is not enough. We build specific responses, such as planned breaks, noise protection or exit plans, and you practise using them between sessions until they fit your actual days.
Calming your system does not mean forcing yourself to stay in situations that overwhelm you or pretending you are fine. It means knowing what your body is reacting to and choosing how to respond. Some of the overload is a fair reaction to a demanding environment. Some is older stress that the move has made louder.
I help you notice activation earlier and understand what your nervous system is responding to, whether it is light, sound, people, language or uncertainty. Between sessions I will ask you to practise regulation routines that suit your sensory profile.
Clear communication starts with knowing what you feel, what you need and what is reasonable to ask for. In a new country, you may not know what is acceptable to request at work or how to describe neurodivergence in the local language.
Together we work out simple, direct ways to state your needs, such as asking for written instructions, a quieter desk or a clear agenda. I challenge you when you stay silent and struggle, and also when you expect people to guess needs you have never named.
Decisions become clearer once you separate exhaustion, fear and other people’s opinions from what you actually know and value. Overload makes every option look impossible, so you may freeze or decide impulsively just to end the uncertainty.
I help you lay out each option concretely, step by step, and look at what would need to change for staying, or leaving, to work. You get my honest view, and I will say so when I see avoidance, but the choice stays yours.
Lasting change has to show up in your daily routines. You may need a home that is calmer, a job with clearer structure, a few people who understand you, regular contact with home and time set aside for your interests and recovery.
Together we sort what needs to change from what already works. Your neurodivergence is not a problem to be removed, and neither is your choice to live abroad. The aim is a life that fits your needs and values, so that being here costs you less.
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You do not need a diagnosis, a tidy explanation or the right words. We start with what is hard in your life abroad right now.
When you begin, I listen carefully, help you name the main difficulty and give our work a clear direction from the start. I am happy to work with written notes, cameras off for part of a session, or a fixed agenda if that helps you.
Most neurodivergent adults abroad do well with structured individual work in my online psychotherapy, because we can shape it around your needs. If the differences show up mostly in your relationship and your partner is willing, online couples therapy offers long-term relational development and healing. When you already know you want a steady course, a therapy bundle brings real savings and the predictability of a plan.
I ask what brought you to therapy now, what daily life abroad is like, where you run out of energy and what you have already tried. If talking is hard that day, you can send me notes beforehand or type parts of your answers in the chat.
By the end, I share my first understanding and suggest a direction, and you decide whether my way of working fits you. If you want to check me out first, book a free 30-minute call.
Individual work is right when the focus is your own life: your energy, your routines, your identity, your sense of belonging and the way you handle the new country. Your partner, colleagues and family can all be part of what we explore, while the call stays yours alone.
In individual work I offer direction, continuity and honest challenge, at a pace and in a format that suits you. If your difficulties are broader than life abroad, online psychotherapy describes my structured individual work as a whole.
A shared relationship that keeps running aground needs couples work of its own. If you and your partner keep clashing over noise, plans, chores or social life, or if one of you feels unseen and the other feels criticised, working together usually helps more.
In couples sessions I help you both see the cycle between you, take responsibility for your part and build ways of relating that work for both brains. Online couples therapy is long-term relational development and healing, and online neurodiverse couples therapy focuses on these differences directly.
The right pace depends on how overloaded you are, how much capacity your week has and how much continuity you need. For many neurodivergent clients, a fixed day and time is part of what makes therapy work.
I usually suggest weekly sessions at the same time each week, at least at first. I will tell you honestly if gaps are too long, or when we can meet less often. If you prefer a concentrated block, sessions can also be placed back-to-back over a few days.
A bundle makes sense when you know the work will take a number of sessions and you want continuity without having to decide, and book, after each one. Fewer decisions and less admin can make it much easier to keep going.
A bundle lowers the cost of each session and gives you the security of a fixed plan. You can read about the options on therapy discounts and bundles or in the cards further down.
Our work has done its job when you understand your own patterns, have routines and supports that fit your life abroad, and can make decisions without overload running the show. Hard weeks may still come, but you recover from them faster.
We review progress openly, and I do not encourage therapy without an end. Sessions can become less frequent, pause or end once the purpose is met. Coming back later, perhaps during another big change, is a sensible choice, not a sign of failure.
Not sure this is the right starting point? Here is how neurodivergent psychotherapy abroad compares with the options people in your situation most often consider.
| Option | Choose it when | Pace |
|---|---|---|
| Neurodivergent psychotherapy, living abroad (this page) | You are neurodivergent and life in another country is overloading you. | Weekly 1-hour video sessions at a fixed time |
| Online neurodiverse psychotherapy | Neurodivergence is the theme, and living abroad is not the issue. | Steady 1-hour video sessions |
| Relocation psychotherapy | The move itself is the main strain. | Video sessions around the move |
| Acute online neurodiverse psychotherapy | You are in shutdown, burnout or crisis right now. | Video sessions within days |
Neurodivergent psychotherapy, living abroad, is individual psychotherapy by video, in English, for autistic, ADHD and AuDHD adults living in a country that is not their own. It focuses on how the demands of a new culture, language and system interact with your brain, and helps you build a life abroad that fits how you work.
I work in depth with the whole person, including your history of being misunderstood, and I adapt the format to you. I do not diagnose or assess. This work belongs to my psychotherapy for people living abroad.
Come when daily life abroad drains you faster than you can recover, when you are shutting down more often, or when you feel you are losing yourself under layers of adaptation. Your own sense that something is not sustainable is reason enough.
I look at how long this has been going on, what has changed since the move and what you have stopped doing to cope. If the overload is not easing with time, it deserves proper attention.
Yes, often it can. I cannot change the country around you, and I do not promise a particular outcome. What therapy can do is help you understand your overload, adjust your routines and environment, and speak up for your needs more clearly.
In my clinical experience, neurodivergent adults abroad often carry far more than they realise, because so much of the effort is invisible. Naming that load is often the first relief.
No. You can come if you are formally identified, self-identified or simply wondering. I do not diagnose or assess, and our work does not depend on a label.
If you want a formal assessment, we can talk about what is involved and how you might look for one where you live. Meanwhile, we focus on what helps you now, whatever the outcome of that process.
Both are ways of coping with a world that feels unpredictable. Holding tight to one or 2 people can make life abroad feel safe. Shutting everyone out protects you from overload and misunderstanding. Neither is a flaw in your character.
I help you see which way you move under stress, what each move protects and what it costs. Then we build steadier options: telling people what you need, and taking space without disappearing.
Yes. You can send notes beforehand, type in the chat, keep your camera off for parts of the session or ask me to stick to a set structure. I will ask what has brought you, what daily life abroad is like and what you want to change, and by the end you will know my first understanding.
You do not need to prepare anything else. Book your first session when you are ready, or begin with a free 30-minute call.
Plan for a course of sessions over several months rather than one or 2 conversations. That is usually enough to understand your patterns, adjust your routines and start feeling more settled. If there is long-standing burnout or older pain, the work takes longer.
With neurodivergent clients, I have found that a clearly agreed first stretch with regular reviews works far better than open-ended drifting. At each review we decide together whether to continue, change the format or stop.
For many people, yes. Video lets you work from your own space, with your own lighting, noise levels and comfort objects, and it avoids the energy cost of travel. It also continues if you move country again.
Practically, you need privacy, headphones, a connection that does not drop and a laptop or tablet, plus whatever helps your senses, such as a blanket or a fidget. The calendar shows all times in your own time zone, and we can sort out any practical questions on a free call.
This work is individual psychotherapy, booked as 1-hour online sessions with 50 minutes of therapy. The current fee in US dollars sits on my prices page.
If you expect a longer course, a therapy bundle saves 10 per cent on each session and gives you a structured, predictable plan. See therapy discounts and bundles for the options.
Choose a time on the booking page, or request a free 30-minute call if you want to meet me first. Every time appears in the time zone you live in.
If you would rather explain things in writing, or if you are close to shutdown or burnout, contact me directly. I keep some room for acute cases, usually a time within days, and acute online neurodiverse psychotherapy describes that help. Once a time is booked, we start with the overload as it is today.
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I want therapy to help you understand your experience and make choices you can use in everyday life. We pay attention to feelings, needs and the responses that happen before you have time to think.
Our online room should offer enough trust and honesty to explore what is difficult. I bring attention and professional judgement. You bring your experience, questions and the right to say when something does not fit.
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