In this short video, I explain what a one-to-one hour about an autism-shaped relationship looks like, and how much can shift when only one person takes part.
You can also send me an email
Online autism couples therapy alone is for one person, in any country, whose relationship is shaped by autism, your own or your partner’s. You meet me by video, by yourself, at a time that suits your time zone, and we look at the relationship from your side.
If you are autistic, that may mean finding a way to explain your needs that your partner can actually take in. If your partner is autistic, it may mean understanding their world well enough to stop taking it personally, without disappearing yourself.
This page sits under online neurodiverse couples therapy alone. If your partner will take part, see online autism couples therapy. You can ask for a free 30-minute call, book an hour, look at my client policy or send me a message.
Online autism couples therapy alone is for one person, taking part by yourself, whose relationship is shaped by autism, your own or your partner’s.
One of these may suit you better.
You can also send me an email
These reviews describe clients’ experiences of working with me. They come from my wider practice and do not all relate to online sessions. Each person’s experience is their own, and a review does not promise a particular outcome.
“Over more than 15,000 clinical hours, I have learned that autism can leave two people who share a bed feeling invisible to each other. Underneath, some are asking ‘Will you ever show me that I matter to you?’, and others ‘If I let you all the way in, will it be more than I can bear?’. When you can hear your own question clearly, and make a good guess at your partner’s, the relationship becomes far easier to work with.”
Mark Colclough, MA, psychotherapist and EFT couples therapist
I am Mark Colclough, MA. I have practised since 2004 and offer online psychotherapy and couples therapy in English.
My training brings together your emotions, your thoughts and your relationships. My deep passion is the moment when what happens between you finally makes sense, to each of you and to each other. I have lived and worked in nine countries, so I know something of life across languages, cultures and borders.
Read about my background, or explore online psychotherapy and online couples therapy.
I meet regularly with experienced psychotherapists to reflect on my work, question my understanding and develop my skills. Supervision is part of the professional care I bring to individual and couples work, including online sessions.
My focus is thoughtful practice, integrity and responsibility.
You are welcome to ask about the kind of support you need.
Tell me where you are based and your time zone. We can then consider whether online sessions together are suitable.
Ingrid is autistic and works as a lab technician in Edinburgh. Her boyfriend, Marco, wants to talk through every disagreement straight away, often late at night. Ingrid shuts down, and Marco feels shut out. He thinks therapy would only be about her.
Ingrid joins online, by herself. She learns to tell Marco early, in one sentence, that she wants to talk and needs it to be the next morning, and she writes him a short note about what late-night talks do to her body. Marco reads it twice. The night-time rows become rare, and the morning talks start to work.
I have presented this clinical example as a compound of 22 years of clinical practice.
Understanding one side of the pattern well is often enough to change how both of you meet.
Sometimes joint sessions are not on the table. Your partner may not want them, or the thought of two people and a therapist on one screen may simply be too much.
Online autism couples therapy alone gives you a quiet, structured hour where you can think things through at your own speed and leave with something concrete to try.
Your partner may see no point in therapy, or worry that it would turn into a list of their faults. You still live with the strain.
You can begin without them. We focus on what you can influence, and very often that is more than you think.
If you are autistic, you may have heard for years that you are too blunt, too distant or not affectionate enough. It is exhausting to be told your way of caring does not count.
Here your way of caring counts. We look at how to make it visible to your partner, and how to ask for what you need in return.
If your partner is autistic, you may often feel lonely, unsure what they feel or hurt by what seems like coldness.
We make sense of what is going on for them, so you can tell the difference between ‘I do not care’ and ‘I need quiet right now’, and respond to what is really there.
Following two people at once, with tone, faces and timing all mattering, can be very tiring on video. For many autistic people a one-to-one conversation is simply easier to think in.
That is a perfectly good reason to work alone first.
A recent diagnosis, or the growing sense that autism fits, can make you look at your whole relationship again. Old arguments may suddenly make sense, and new questions appear.
We give those questions proper time, without rushing to conclusions.
You may be wondering whether this relationship can work for you in the long run. That deserves to be thought about honestly.
I will not push you towards staying or leaving. I help you see clearly enough to decide.
Recognise yourself? Book an hour, ask for a call or write me a few lines.
You can also send me an email
Tell me briefly what kind of support you are looking for.
Include your country and time zone so we can discuss whether online work together is possible and find a suitable time.
You do not need to explain your whole story in your first message.
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Clear understanding first. Small, specific changes after that.
In online autism couples therapy alone we work out how the pattern between you runs, which parts are yours to change and how to explain your world to your partner, or understand theirs.
Each hour ends with one specific, manageable step.
We choose one hard moment and describe it in plain, concrete detail: the words, the setting, the sounds, what you felt and what you did. Then we look at what your partner might have experienced in the same moment.
Yes. When you respond differently, your partner has to respond differently too, whether or not they ever join. We pick changes that are small, clear and safe to try.
Yes. We practise turning a need into one short, concrete sentence, for example ‘I need an hour of quiet after work, then I can talk’. You can write it down first if that helps.
Yes. Understanding how your partner experiences the world does not mean giving up your own needs. We look for the point where you can meet them halfway and still look after yourself.
Often. Years of being misread, or of feeling unloved, leave marks. Looking back with what you now know about autism can turn some of that blame into understanding, towards your partner and towards yourself.
Usually fewer moments of confusion or hurt, more confidence about what you need and a home that feels steadier.
Some people later invite their partner into joint sessions. Others find that their own change is enough.
You can also send me an email
You do not need a diagnosis, a perfect explanation or your partner’s agreement to start.
In the first hour I learn how you take in information, what is happening at home and what you would like to be different. If your own anxiety or low mood is the bigger issue, I may suggest online psychotherapy instead.
I send you a short outline beforehand, so you know what to expect. In the hour itself you describe your relationship and one difficult moment, and we start to map it. You leave with one step to try.
Very. I tell you the plan at the start and keep to it, end on time and send a short written summary afterwards if you like. You can keep your camera off for parts of the hour, use headphones and take breaks.
Yes, if both of you want that. Some people later move on to online autism couples therapy together. We prepare that step carefully, so it feels like an invitation, not a summons.
Many people choose a fixed slot every week or two at first, then meet less often. Keeping the same day and time can make it easier to settle.
Work on your own usually runs over several weeks, and some people like knowing the whole plan in advance. A therapy bundle lowers the price per hour. The bundle cards are further down.
You feel less confused or attacked, you can name what you need more easily and home feels calmer. At that point we look together at whether to continue, invite your partner or stop.
Check the closest options before booking.
| Option | Choose it when | Pace |
|---|---|---|
| Online autism couples therapy alone (this page) | You take part alone; autism is central. | 1 hour, every week or two |
| Online autism couples therapy | Your partner takes part too. | 2 hours, every two to three weeks |
| Online AuDHD couples therapy alone | ADHD is part of it as well. | 1-hour sessions on your own |
| Online neurodiverse couples therapy alone | The picture is mixed or unclear. | 1-hour sessions on your own |
It is one-to-one work by video, in English, about a relationship where autism plays a part, in you, your partner or both. You take part alone, from wherever you live, and the sessions are built to be predictable and calm.
Either. Autistic people come to understand and explain themselves better. Non-autistic partners come to make sense of what they are living with. Both are welcome.
No. A diagnosis, a strong hunch or just recognising yourself in descriptions of autism is enough to begin.
No. You are looking after your own part of something you share. We stay with what you can do, and I do not help anyone build a case against their partner.
I can help you think it through clearly, but the choice is yours. Many people find it easier once they understand the pattern better and the daily strain has eased a little.
Yes. You can type in the chat, send me notes before the session or bring something you have written. Many autistic clients find that easier, and it works just as well.
No. For an assessment, please contact a specialist service in your own country. My focus is the relationship and your part in it.
There is no set number. Some people notice a clear change within a handful of sessions, others prefer longer, steady support. We review at agreed points. If ADHD is part of the picture too, online AuDHD couples therapy alone may suit you better.
Each session is a 1-hour online session. The fee, in US dollars, is on my prices page, and a therapy bundle takes 10 per cent off.
Book an hour directly, with times shown in your own time zone, or start with a free 30-minute call. If you prefer writing, message me and I will answer in writing.
You can also send me an email
I want therapy to help you understand your experience and make choices you can use in everyday life. We pay attention to feelings, needs and the responses that happen before you have time to think.
Our online room should offer enough trust and honesty to explore what is difficult. I bring attention and professional judgement. You bring your experience, questions and the right to say when something does not fit.
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P.S. I’ll call you in a bit!
