In this short video, I talk about why the way a couple ends matters for years afterwards, above all when there are children.
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Online divorce therapy is couples therapy for ending a relationship, or for working out whether to end it. We meet by video, in English, at a time that suits your time zone, wherever each of you lives. Together we make room for calm decisions, plan what to tell the children and family, and give grief, anger and relief a place, so they do not run the practical choices.
It belongs to my wider online couples therapy work. If only one of you wants help, online couples therapy alone may suit you better.
You can ask for a free 30-minute call, book a session, read my client policy or write to me.
Online divorce therapy is for English-speaking couples anywhere who are separating, or close to it, and want to do it with as little damage as possible. You attend together.
Divorce therapy is for ending well, or deciding. If one of these fits better, follow its link.
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These reviews describe clients’ experiences of working with me. They come from my wider practice and do not all relate to online sessions. Each person’s experience is their own, and a review does not promise a particular outcome.
“Looking back over my 22 years of practice, I can say that how a couple separates often shapes the next ten years more than the separation itself. Children remember whether their parents could stay in one room. Former partners remember whether they were treated with respect at the end. You cannot always choose whether a relationship ends. You can almost always choose how. That is the work I want to help you with.”
Mark Colclough, MA, psychotherapist and EFT couples therapist
I am Mark Colclough, MA. I have practised since 2004 and offer online psychotherapy and couples therapy in English.
My training brings together your emotions, your thoughts and your relationships. My deep passion is the moment when what happens between you finally makes sense, to each of you and to each other. I have lived and worked in nine countries, so I know something of life across languages, cultures and borders.
Read about my background, or explore online psychotherapy and online couples therapy.
I meet regularly with experienced psychotherapists to reflect on my work, question my understanding and develop my skills. Supervision is part of the professional care I bring to individual and couples work, including online sessions.
My focus is thoughtful practice, integrity and responsibility.
You are welcome to ask about the kind of support you need.
Tell me where you are based and your time zone. We can then consider whether online sessions together are suitable.
Hannah and Marco have been together for fourteen years and have two daughters. They live in Zurich, where Marco works, but Hannah wants to move back to Dublin after the separation. Every talk about the move ends with Marco accusing her of taking the children and Hannah accusing him of never having listened.
In our online sessions, we separate the decision about where the girls will live from the old story of who gave up what. Step by step, they agree how and when to tell the children, and how the girls will keep close to both of them.
I have presented this clinical example as a compound of 22 years of clinical practice.
It is ending, or it might be. How you end it still matters a great deal.
This work is for couples who have decided to part, or are close to it, and want to do it as decently as they can. It is not about rescuing the relationship at any price, and it is not legal mediation.
Couples who get help with a separation usually find it easier to share parenting, and to look back without bitterness, many years later.
Even once the choice is made, the next steps can feel enormous: telling people, moving out, money, the children, perhaps a move back to another country.
We go one step at a time, and every hard talk gets a clear purpose before it starts.
Often one partner has been quietly preparing to leave for a long time, while the other has only just been told. You are standing in very different places.
I help the one who is going to be honest and kind, and the one being left to be fully heard.
Telling children is one of the hardest moments in any separation. The words you choose, and whether you say them together, stay with them.
We plan what to say, when to say it and how to answer the questions that follow.
A simple question about the flat, the holidays or the bank account can slide straight into the old blame.
I help you keep the practical talks practical, and give the hurt its own separate time.
Grief can arrive even when parting is clearly the right call. Guilt, anger or relief can come too, sometimes in the same hour.
All of it is welcome in our sessions, and none of it has to be tidy.
Many couples want to go on co-parenting well, and some hope to stay friendly.
So we also work on how you will speak to each other once the separation is done, not just until it is.
If this is where you are, request a call or book a session, and we will start with whatever feels most pressing.
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Tell me briefly what kind of support you are looking for.
Include your country and time zone so we can discuss whether online work together is possible and find a suitable time.
You do not need to explain your whole story in your first message.
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Clear, calm and kind enough. That is usually what a good ending asks of you.
In online divorce therapy we work on three things: the conversations you have to have, the decisions you have to make and the feelings that keep blocking both. Sessions follow a structure, so each one moves you on.
Each of you gets a fair turn to say how you see what went wrong. Even a partial shared understanding often makes it easier to let go.
Yes. We set ground rules, agree on a signal for a pause and write a short agenda for each difficult conversation.
Yes. We split the to-do list from the emotional story and give each its own slot, so one does not swallow the other.
Yes. Together we prepare what you will tell the children, how you will tell them and how you will look after them in the weeks after.
Parting is a loss, even when you chose it. I help you give each feeling a place without letting it steer the practical decisions.
For most couples it means decisions that feel fair, children who feel cared for and a way of talking you can keep up long after the last session.
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You do not have to agree on everything before we meet. You only have to turn up.
In our first sessions I listen to you both, find out where each of you stands and help you agree on what to tackle first.
If another kind of help would serve you better, I will say so.
You join together for two hours by video. I ask where each of you is in the decision, what feels hardest and what you most want to protect. At the end, we agree on the next focus.
If you now live in different places, you can each log in from your own screen.
Online divorce therapy is joint work. When grief, anger or old experiences overwhelm one of you, online psychotherapy alongside our sessions can help that person steady.
Then we slow down. Some couples need to look at the relationship one more time before deciding. I help you do that honestly, with no push in either direction.
Usually every two to three weeks, and closer together when a big conversation or a move is coming. We set the pace together.
If you expect several sessions of online divorce therapy, a bundle gives you a plan and a lower price per session. The bundle cards further down show the choices.
When the main decisions are made, the children have been told and you can talk without things flaring up, we check together whether anything more is needed.
Not sure this is the right page? These are the closest options.
| Option | Choose it when | Pace |
|---|---|---|
| Online divorce therapy (this page) | You are separating, or deciding whether to. | 2-hour sessions every two to three weeks |
| Online couples therapy | You both still want to work on the relationship. | 2-hour sessions every two to three weeks |
| Online couples therapy alone | Only one of you wants help. | 1-hour sessions on your own |
| Divorce therapy, living abroad | Life abroad is part of the separation. | 2-hour sessions every few weeks |
It is couples therapy for separating, or for deciding whether to. It helps you talk well enough to make decisions, tell children and family and cope with the feelings involved. Sessions are by video, in English, for couples in any country.
As early as you can, ideally before the hardest conversations. Even so, it is never too late to make the rest of a separation go better.
Yes. An affair is often what brings a couple to this point. We can look at what happened and help you decide, or part, with more clarity. If you want to try to rebuild first, online couples therapy after infidelity is the better start.
That is very common. I help the one who wants to leave to be honest, and the one who wants to stay to be heard. Nobody is forced into a decision in my sessions.
I help you think through what is best for the children and how to talk with them. Formal arrangements belong with a lawyer or the family authorities in the country where you live.
No. I am a psychotherapist. For legal or money questions, please speak to a lawyer or a financial adviser where you live.
Yes. Many separating couples already live apart, sometimes in different countries. You each join from your own screen, and we find a time that fits both time zones.
Usually together, because the separation affects you both. If one of you wants support alone, online couples therapy alone is an option.
Sessions are 2-hour online couples sessions. You can see current fees, in US dollars, on my prices page, and a therapy bundle saves you 10 per cent.
Book a session directly, or ask for a free 30-minute call first. The calendar shows times in your own time zone. If none of them work, write to me.
You can also send me an email
I want therapy to help you understand your experience and make choices you can use in everyday life. We pay attention to feelings, needs and the responses that happen before you have time to think.
Our online room should offer enough trust and honesty to explore what is difficult. I bring attention and professional judgement. You bring your experience, questions and the right to say when something does not fit.
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P.S. I’ll call you in a bit!
