In this short video, I explain the first thing I do when a couple joins me straight after a shock, and what the opening sessions feel like on screen.
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Acute online couples therapy is for English-speaking couples, wherever you live, whose relationship has just been knocked sideways. An affair has surfaced, one of you has said you want to leave, or the fighting has got out of hand. We meet by video, soon, in 2-hour sessions at an hour that fits your time zone.
At the start there is one goal: to steady things. We slow the pace, stop fresh harm and piece together the events before anyone acts in a way that cannot be reversed. This is the acute branch of online couples therapy. When your partner refuses to take part, acute online couples therapy alone offers a way in on your own.
You can ask for a free 30-minute call, book a session, read my client policy or write to me.
Acute online couples therapy is for English-speaking couples, anywhere in the world, who have just been hit by something big: an affair discovered, a partner who says it is over, or rows that no longer stop. You want help now to bring things down, protect what is left and see your next step.
This page is for the first raw weeks. If one of these sounds more like you, follow the link.
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These reviews describe clients’ experiences of working with me. They come from my wider practice and do not all relate to online sessions. Each person’s experience is their own, and a review does not promise a particular outcome.
“When a couple sits down with me in the first week after a shock, I know those few days can weigh more than the years that come after. It is the time when people blurt things out and take steps that cost months to repair. Beneath the noise, one partner is usually asking ‘Can you see I am breaking?’, and the other ‘Will you let me catch my breath?’. Some nights one person asks both: ‘Come here’ and ‘Go away’. That is not madness. That is shock. In those early weeks I bring enough steadiness to our sessions that you can start thinking again.”
Mark Colclough, MA, psychotherapist and EFT couples therapist
I am Mark Colclough, MA. I have practised since 2004 and offer online psychotherapy and couples therapy in English.
My training brings together your emotions, your thoughts and your relationships. My deep passion is the moment when what happens between you finally makes sense, to each of you and to each other. I have lived and worked in nine countries, so I know something of life across languages, cultures and borders.
Read about my background, or explore online psychotherapy and online couples therapy.
I meet regularly with experienced psychotherapists to reflect on my work, question my understanding and develop my skills. Supervision is part of the professional care I bring to individual and couples work, including online sessions.
My focus is thoughtful practice, integrity and responsibility.
You are welcome to ask about the kind of support you need.
Tell me where you are based and your time zone. We can then consider whether online sessions together are suitable.
Hana finds messages on Marco’s phone late on a Sunday in Melbourne. By midweek both are running on almost no sleep. Each night opens with one question and closes after midnight, with Hana crying and Marco saying he has nothing left. He has floated the idea of staying with a colleague, and their seven-year-old wants to know why the house feels so heavy.
In our first online session they agree three ground rules for the week, one of them a limit on how long they talk about the affair each night. Hana is given space for her questions, and Marco works on replying without arguing back. The future is left alone for now.
I have presented this clinical example as a compound of 22 years of clinical practice.
Your relationship has been thrown off its axis. You need help this week, not next month.
This is help for the days and weeks straight after a blow. Perhaps neither of you is sleeping. Perhaps you argue until three in the morning, or have hardly spoken since. Work, school runs and meals still go on, yet carrying on as normal feels impossible.
Right now the task is not to repair the relationship. It is to contain the harm while the two of you learn what you are dealing with.
Discovering an affair, secret chats or debts kept quiet can feel like the floor has dropped away. The partner who was hurt wants answers, and the other often lurches between guilt and self-defence.
We hold the first painful talks so that they stay truthful without becoming a cross-examination that eats the whole night.
‘I want out’ may come from nowhere, or close a long, slow decline. In both cases the clock suddenly seems to be racing.
We take the speed out of it, so you can both hear what that wish is about before anything gets fixed in place.
Rows ignite in seconds and run for hours. Words fly that neither of you can unsay, and nobody can find the brake.
Our sessions get a firm frame, and home gets a plan, so the clashes stop adding new wounds while we look at the roots.
Sometimes the shock has already rearranged daily life: separate rooms, a partner sleeping at a friend’s, a suitcase in the hall.
We set up stopgap arrangements that both of you can tolerate, which buys time to think before anything becomes permanent.
A relationship in upheaval leaks into everything. Children pick up on it, work slides and sleep goes.
We look at how to shield your children from the worst, and how to steady yourselves enough to cope with the week as the deeper work starts.
It can feel as if you must settle everything now: stay or go, tell the family or not, move out or not. Decisions taken in shock often bring regret.
We separate the few things that must be settled this week from the many that can wait.
Is this you right now? Request a call or book a session, and I will give you a straight answer about how soon we can start.
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Tell me briefly what kind of support you are looking for.
Include your country and time zone so we can discuss whether online work together is possible and find a suitable time.
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When everything is shaking, order matters: steady first, understand second, decide last.
We begin with safety and calm. Next we look at what happened and why. Only then do we ask where each of you hopes to go from here. Keeping to that order protects you both from choices made in panic.
Early on we set a handful of house rules for the next few days: a set time to discuss it, a signal to stop, and topics that stay closed for now.
Small agreements like these often cool things down remarkably fast.
Yes, inside a clear frame. The partner who was hurt can put the questions that matter most. The other learns to answer truthfully without contesting every detail.
We keep a pace at which both of you can still think.
After each session you have concrete guidance for home: how to handle a night without sleep, how to respond when it comes up over dinner and how to call time out.
The partner who was wounded needs that pain taken in completely. My job is to help the other partner stay in the room, emotionally, and take responsibility, rather than going numb or hitting back.
Together we learn to spot when panic is steering the conversation, and you agree to shelve the big questions until your heads are clearer.
Once things have calmed, we look at what led here and what each of you now wants. Some couples go on with online couples therapy or EFT online couples therapy, some take a pause, and some decide to part well. Whatever you choose, you choose it on purpose.
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Nobody expects you to know what you want yet. Showing up is enough.
To begin, each of you tells me your side, we make sure nobody is at risk and we draw up a plan for the days ahead.
You will also hear from me whether this format suits you, or whether another kind of help would be wiser.
Both of you log in for two hours. I take in each version of events, help you put the most pressing questions into words and agree with you what to do, and avoid, before our next meeting.
Now and then, one of you is too shocked or too furious to share a screen right away. A session or two on your own can come first.
Where your partner refuses altogether, acute online couples therapy alone is made for that.
I try to hold some space for couples in this position, though I can only confirm a time once I have looked. Request a call or grab the earliest open slot, and add a line or two about the situation.
In the opening weeks we meet more often than usual, so that the gaps do not let things spiral. As the storm passes, the sessions move further apart.
Situations like this tend to call for a few sessions packed into a short span. With a bundle you have a plan from the start and pay less each time. See the cards below.
You are past the acute phase once a talk can run its course without exploding, normal days feel doable and your minds have room for next year, not only for tonight.
Unsure whether this is the right door? Here it is beside the options couples in trouble tend to consider.
| Option | Choose it when | Pace |
|---|---|---|
| Acute online couples therapy (this page) | Something big has just happened and you need help now. | Frequent sessions in the first weeks |
| Online couples therapy | No single event, but things between you are not right. | One 2-hour session every two to three weeks |
| Acute online couples therapy alone | You are in the middle of it and your partner refuses to join. | 1-hour sessions by yourself |
| Online divorce therapy | Parting is decided, or you need help deciding. | A planned series of sessions |
It is brief, tightly structured work by video for couples who have just taken a hit. Calm and limiting harm come first; making sense of events comes next. I offer it in English, to couples in any country. If nothing acute is going on, online couples therapy is the wider starting point.
Regular couples work tackles old patterns at an even rhythm. Acute work begins faster, meets more frequently and makes safety the first priority. When the storm eases, plenty of couples switch to the regular rhythm.
No. Those first raw days are often exactly when support matters most, before words or actions make repair harder still. Starting does not require any decision.
Very often. Wanting out can be a settled choice or a last, loud plea for things to change. Our sessions help you find out which, without pressure either way. If the decision is already made, online divorce therapy fits better.
No. My part is to help you think straight and choose without panic. The choice itself stays yours. I am there for both of you, not for keeping the relationship whatever it costs.
Then begin solo. Acute online couples therapy alone gives you somewhere to find your footing and plan what to do, whatever your partner decides.
Where anyone is being hurt or threatened, joint sessions are the wrong place to begin, and I will say so clearly. Each of you needs separate support first.
There is no fixed number. A few couples find their feet in three or four meetings; others want close support across several weeks. We decide step by step.
Acute sessions are 2-hour online couples sessions. Current fees, in US dollars, are on my prices page, and a therapy bundle saves you 10 per cent.
Book the first available session directly, or ask for a free 30-minute call if talking first feels better. The calendar shows times in your own time zone. If no time is close enough, write to me with a line about what has happened.
You can also send me an email
I want therapy to help you understand your experience and make choices you can use in everyday life. We pay attention to feelings, needs and the responses that happen before you have time to think.
Our online room should offer enough trust and honesty to explore what is difficult. I bring attention and professional judgement. You bring your experience, questions and the right to say when something does not fit.
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P.S. I’ll call you in a bit!
