In this short video, I explain why an affair can feel so lonely for each person in it, and what a private hour on your own can do.
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Online infidelity therapy alone is for one person dealing with an affair, whether you discovered it, had it or are caught somewhere in between. Sessions run for an hour, in English, by video, at an hour that works where you are.
We steady the first shock, look honestly at what happened and help you work out what you want, before you say or decide anything you cannot take back. If your partner will take part with you, online couples therapy after infidelity is the joint version. It is a branch of online couples therapy alone.
You can ask for a free 30-minute call, book a session, read my client policy or write to me.
Online infidelity therapy alone is for one person, anywhere in the world, who is dealing with an affair and wants to work on it alone.
If one of these sounds more like you, the linked page is the better place.
You can also send me an email
These reviews describe clients’ experiences of working with me. They come from my wider practice and do not all relate to online sessions. Each person’s experience is their own, and a review does not promise a particular outcome.
“In my experience, an affair is one of the loneliest things a person can go through, on either side of it. The person deceived keeps asking ‘Why did I not see it?’. The person who strayed keeps asking ‘If anyone knew the whole truth, would they still want me?’. Giving that question room, privately and without hurry, tends to calm everything around it.”
Mark Colclough, MA, psychotherapist and EFT couples therapist
I am Mark Colclough, MA. I have practised since 2004 and offer online psychotherapy and couples therapy in English.
My training brings together your emotions, your thoughts and your relationships. My deep passion is the moment when what happens between you finally makes sense, to each of you and to each other. I have lived and worked in nine countries, so I know something of life across languages, cultures and borders.
Read about my background, or explore online psychotherapy and online couples therapy.
I meet regularly with experienced psychotherapists to reflect on my work, question my understanding and develop my skills. Supervision is part of the professional care I bring to individual and couples work, including online sessions.
My focus is thoughtful practice, integrity and responsibility.
You are welcome to ask about the kind of support you need.
Tell me where you are based and your time zone. We can then consider whether online sessions together are suitable.
Claire is 44, lives in Boston with her husband and two teenage sons, and found messages from another woman on his laptop three weeks ago. He has ended the affair, says it meant nothing and will not discuss therapy. Claire cannot sleep, checks his phone at night and has told nobody.
In our online sessions, Claire first gets some sleep and calm back. Then she looks at what she knew, what she ignored and what she wants now. After two months she tells her husband she needs him in the room, and he agrees to try.
I have presented this clinical example as a compound of 22 years of clinical practice.
An affair splits a life into before and after. You do not have to make sense of the after on your own.
People come to online infidelity therapy alone from very different places. Some have just found messages on a phone. Some ended an affair months ago and carry it in silence. Some have a partner who will not talk about it at all.
What they share is a need for one hour that is only about them, with someone who will not judge and will not take sides.
Pictures, dates and questions run on a loop, day and night. You check, you search, you replay.
We start by calming your body and your sleep, so you can think again. Then we look at the questions that matter most.
Perhaps you ended it, perhaps not yet. You may be torn between confessing, ending it quietly or leaving.
We look at what each choice would mean for you, for your partner and for any children, before anything is said.
You asked, and your partner said no. Or you have not dared ask.
You can still begin. What changes in you will change the conversations at home.
Shame, children, shared friends or living far from family can leave you with nobody safe to talk to.
Our sessions are that safe place, for as long as you need one.
Whether you were betrayed or you strayed, the affair can make you doubt your judgement, your worth or your story about yourself.
We slowly rebuild a picture of yourself you can live with.
One day you want to leave, the next you cannot imagine it. Both feel true.
We give each side a fair hearing, so a decision can grow instead of being forced.
If this is where you are, request a call or book a session. A few lines are enough to begin.
You can also send me an email
Tell me briefly what kind of support you are looking for.
Include your country and time zone so we can discuss whether online work together is possible and find a suitable time.
You do not need to explain your whole story in your first message.
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First you get your feet back under you. Then you can think about the future.
We move in steps. First, steadiness: sleep, work and children. Then understanding: what happened and why. Then choices: what you want to say, to whom and when.
We make a short plan for the days that feel worst, decide what you need to say at home now and what can wait, and agree on who else can support you.
Often, yes. We look at what the checking is trying to protect you from, and find other ways to feel safe enough.
We look honestly at the relationship before the affair, at your own history and at the choices made, without excuses and without endless self-blame.
Yes. If there is something still to tell, or to ask, we think through the timing, the words and what you will need afterwards.
We separate what you want from what you fear and from what others expect of you. That is usually where clarity begins.
Most people say they want to act in a way they can still respect later. Our work keeps that question in view.
You can also send me an email
You do not need to have it figured out. We start with how you are coping today.
In the first sessions I listen to what has happened, how you are holding up and what feels most pressing. Should a different kind of help serve you better, you will hear it from me.
We meet for an hour on screen while you sit somewhere private. We look at what happened, how you are coping and what you need first. Before we finish, we agree on a next step.
Yes. People who had the affair need help too, and they get the same respect. My job is to help you understand yourself and act honestly, not to punish you.
Yes, if you both want that. Many people work alone first and later move to online couples therapy after infidelity together.
Usually weekly at first, then every two weeks as things settle.
When you expect several weeks of work, a bundle fixes the plan and brings each session down in price. Compare them in the cards below.
You sleep better, the replaying has eased and you can think about the future without panic. Then we decide whether to continue, bring in your partner or stop.
Weighing your options? These are the closest pages.
| Option | Choose it when | Pace |
|---|---|---|
| Online infidelity therapy alone (this page) | You work on your own after an affair. | 1 hour, weekly at first |
| Online couples therapy after infidelity | You and your partner take part together. | 2-hour sessions |
| Infidelity therapy alone, living abroad | You live abroad and that adds to the strain. | 1-hour sessions |
| Online couples therapy alone | The affair is not the main problem. | 1-hour sessions |
It is individual work, by video and in English, for one person dealing with an affair, whether you were betrayed or had the affair. Sessions are one hour long, for people anywhere in the world.
No. That choice is yours. I will help you think through what each option would mean, for you and for others, so you can choose with your eyes open.
No. I help you find out what you want. If you decide to separate, online divorce therapy or support alone can help you do it well.
Yes. What you tell me stays between us, within the limits set out in my client policy. I do not contact your partner.
Yes. Shame is one of the most common feelings after an affair, for both the betrayed and the one who strayed. We look at it with care and without judgement.
For most people, yes. You join from a private room where you cannot be overheard. Many people find it easier to say difficult things from home.
It depends on where you are and what you want. Some people need a handful of sessions to steady themselves; others want support through a longer process. We review regularly.
We can still work together. I will be honest about how that affects your choices, and we look at what you want to do about it.
Each session is a 1-hour video session for you alone. Current fees, in US dollars, are listed on my prices page. Paying ahead for a therapy bundle lowers the cost by 10 per cent.
Pick a time in the booking calendar, which shows your local time, or request a free 30-minute call to talk first. If nothing fits, send me a short message.
You can also send me an email
I want therapy to help you understand your experience and make choices you can use in everyday life. We pay attention to feelings, needs and the responses that happen before you have time to think.
Our online room should offer enough trust and honesty to explore what is difficult. I bring attention and professional judgement. You bring your experience, questions and the right to say when something does not fit.
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P.S. I’ll call you in a bit!
