In this short video, I explain how a single person can calm an AuDHD pattern in a relationship, and how our hours together are shaped.
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Online AuDHD couples therapy alone is for one person, in any country, whose relationship is shaped by AuDHD, being both autistic and ADHD, whether that is you, your partner or both of you. You join me by video on your own, at an hour that fits your time zone.
We look at how the two pulls of AuDHD, sameness and novelty, closeness and retreat, play out between you, and what you can change from your side. If you are AuDHD, that may mean learning to signal your state early. If your partner is, it may mean learning to stop guessing.
This page sits under online neurodiverse couples therapy alone. If your partner will take part, see online AuDHD couples therapy. You are welcome to arrange a free 30-minute call, book an hour, check my client policy or get in touch.
Online AuDHD couples therapy alone is for one person, taking part on your own, whose relationship is shaped by AuDHD, your own or your partner’s.
One of these may fit you better.
You can also send me an email
These reviews describe clients’ experiences of working with me. They come from my wider practice and do not all relate to online sessions. Each person’s experience is their own, and a review does not promise a particular outcome.
“Over more than 15,000 clinical hours, I have seen how much an AuDHD relationship can ease when just one person understands the two pulls at work. Beneath the surface, some are asking ‘Will you ever simply let me be as I am?’, and others ‘If I say what I need, will it all tip over into too much?’. Once those questions are clear, there is far more room to choose how to respond, instead of being swept along.”
Mark Colclough, MA, psychotherapist and EFT couples therapist
I am Mark Colclough, MA. I have practised since 2004 and offer online psychotherapy and couples therapy in English.
My training brings together your emotions, your thoughts and your relationships. My deep passion is the moment when what happens between you finally makes sense, to each of you and to each other. I have lived and worked in nine countries, so I know something of life across languages, cultures and borders.
Read about my background, or explore online psychotherapy and online couples therapy.
I meet regularly with experienced psychotherapists to reflect on my work, question my understanding and develop my skills. Supervision is part of the professional care I bring to individual and couples work, including online sessions.
My focus is thoughtful practice, integrity and responsibility.
You are welcome to ask about the kind of support you need.
Tell me where you are based and your time zone. We can then consider whether online sessions together are suitable.
Owen has AuDHD and works as a sound engineer in Dublin. His partner, Clara, never knows whether he will want to stay in all weekend or book a last-minute trip. When she guesses wrong, he gets irritable and she feels she cannot win. Owen will not try couples sessions; he says he is tired of being analysed.
Clara joins online, alone. She learns the early signs of Owen’s high and low days, and stops trying to fix his mood. Instead she asks one simple question on Friday evening: ‘Quiet weekend or open weekend?’. Owen answers more easily than either expected, and their weekends stop going wrong.
I have presented this clinical example as a compound of 22 years of clinical practice.
When one person understands the two pulls, the whole relationship gets more room to breathe.
Couples work is not always possible. Your partner may be tired of being analysed, or the idea of a three-way video call may be overwhelming.
Online AuDHD couples therapy alone gives you a focused hour to make sense of the swings, the clashes and your part in them.
Your partner may refuse joint sessions, or say they are sick of talking about diagnoses. You still feel the strain every week.
You can begin anyway. What you change in yourself usually ripples outward, often before anyone names it.
If you are AuDHD, you may feel too much on high days and not enough on low days, and blamed on both.
Here we treat both states as part of you, and look at how to let your partner in on which one is running today.
If your partner is AuDHD, you may never know whether they will want a quiet weekend or a last-minute trip, and whichever you guess seems to be wrong.
We help you stop guessing and start asking, in a way your partner can actually answer.
Two voices, two faces and a therapist on one screen can be far too much input. A one-to-one hour is often much easier to think in.
That alone is a good reason to begin here.
Some people want to understand their own highs, lows and reactions before working on the relationship together.
We map your energy, your triggers and your recovery, so you know your own pattern well.
You may be asking whether this relationship can work for you over the long term. It is a fair question.
I will not steer you. I help you look at it clearly, with what you are learning about yourself and your partner.
Sound familiar? Book an hour, ask for a call or write to me.
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Tell me briefly what kind of support you are looking for.
Include your country and time zone so we can discuss whether online work together is possible and find a suitable time.
You do not need to explain your whole story in your first message.
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Know the two pulls, and you can stop being surprised by them.
In online AuDHD couples therapy alone we sort out which reactions come from the autistic side, which from the ADHD side and which from the pattern between you, and then plan small, specific changes from your end.
Each hour ends with one experiment, sized for a real week.
We take one recent clash and look at it closely. Was a routine broken? Did energy crash? Was it boredom, overload or a forgotten plan? Once you can see which pull was tugged, your next move becomes clearer.
Yes. When you react differently, your partner has to as well, even if they never join. We choose changes that are small and safe enough to try straight away.
Yes. Many people find a simple daily signal helps, a number, a word or an emoji, that tells their partner whether it is a quiet day or a busy one. We work out what fits your home.
Yes. Respecting your partner’s pulls does not mean giving up your own needs. We look for a way to meet them part of the way and still look after yourself.
Often, yes. Years of cancelled plans and unexplained shutdowns can leave blame on both sides. Looking back with what you now know about AuDHD can soften it, towards your partner and towards yourself.
Usually fewer painful surprises, clearer signals and more confidence in your own needs.
Some people later invite their partner into joint sessions. Others find their own change is enough.
You can also send me an email
You do not need a diagnosis or your partner’s blessing to start.
In the first hour I learn how AuDHD shows up in your home, what you have already tried and what you hope for. If your own anxiety or low mood is the main issue, online psychotherapy may be the better fit, and I will say so.
We look at your relationship through one high day and one low day. You leave with one small experiment for the coming week.
The hour has a clear outline but room to wander. You can move, fidget, switch your camera off for a moment or type a thought in the chat before it disappears. A short written summary afterwards is available if it helps.
Yes, when you are both ready. Some people move on to online AuDHD couples therapy together. We plan that step carefully, so your partner feels invited, not dragged in.
Many people start weekly or every second week and space the sessions out later. A regular slot helps the autistic side; a short gap helps the ADHD side keep the thread.
Work on your own usually runs over several weeks. A therapy bundle lowers the price per hour and means you do not have to remember to book each time. The bundle cards are below.
The swings still come, but you see them earlier, your partner understands them better and home feels steadier. Then we review together whether to continue, invite your partner or finish.
Comparing pages? These are the closest.
| Option | Choose it when | Pace |
|---|---|---|
| Online AuDHD couples therapy alone (this page) | You take part alone; autism and ADHD are both in play. | 1 hour, weekly or every second week |
| Online AuDHD couples therapy | Your partner takes part too. | 2 hours, every two to three weeks |
| Online ADHD couples therapy alone | ADHD is the main theme. | 1-hour sessions on your own |
| Online autism couples therapy alone | Autism is the main theme. | 1-hour sessions on your own |
It is one-to-one work by video, in English, about a relationship shaped by AuDHD, yours, your partner’s or both. You take part alone, from wherever you live, and we work on your side of the pattern.
Both. AuDHD people come to understand their own two pulls and explain them better. Partners come to stop guessing and start responding to what is really there.
No. Recognising yourself or your partner in descriptions of AuDHD is enough to start. We work from daily life, not from paperwork.
Yes. You are taking care of your part of a shared relationship. What you share with your partner about the sessions is up to you, and I never help anyone build a case against the other.
I can help you think it through, but the decision stays with you. Many people see the future more clearly once the daily unpredictability has eased.
If one side clearly dominates, yes: see online ADHD couples therapy alone or online autism couples therapy alone. This page is for when both are in play.
No. For an assessment or medication, please see a doctor or specialist service where you live. My work is the relationship.
It varies. Some people feel a shift after a handful of hours, others want steady support for months. We check in at regular points.
Each session is one hour online. You can find the fee in US dollars on my prices page, and a therapy bundle gives you 10 per cent off.
Choose a time in the calendar, shown in your own time zone, or ask for a free 30-minute call. If writing suits you better, message me.
You can also send me an email
I want therapy to help you understand your experience and make choices you can use in everyday life. We pay attention to feelings, needs and the responses that happen before you have time to think.
Our online room should offer enough trust and honesty to explore what is difficult. I bring attention and professional judgement. You bring your experience, questions and the right to say when something does not fit.
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P.S. I’ll call you in a bit!
