In this short video, I explain why the feeling of being a fraud tends to grow with every promotion, and where we look for its roots when we meet by video.
You can also send me an email
Online imposter syndrome therapy helps you understand why you still feel like a fraud when the evidence says otherwise, and how to stand behind your own ability. We meet one to one by video, in English, in 1-hour sessions with 50 minutes of therapy, at hours that work in your time zone.
I help you find where the fear of exposure began, what it is guarding and how it shapes the way you work, speak up and rest. This is the imposter strand of online stress therapy, inside my wider online psychotherapy. If impossible standards are the bigger issue, online perfectionism therapy goes further, and if overworking to prove yourself has already worn you out, online burnout therapy is the better fit.
Your next step can be to schedule a free 30-minute call, go ahead and book a session, check my client policy or drop me a line.
Online imposter syndrome therapy is for English-speaking adults, anywhere in the world, who are capable and often successful, yet live with a steady fear of being exposed as not good enough. You want to feel that your place is earned, and to stop working twice as hard to defend it.
Feeling like a fraud often overlaps with other difficulties that call for a more specific focus. When one of these lines comes closer to your experience, its link leads to the page that fits.
You can also send me an email
These reviews describe clients’ experiences of working with me. They come from my wider practice and do not all relate to online sessions. Each person’s experience is their own, and a review does not promise a particular outcome.
“Working with people in many time zones, I meet the fraud feeling most often in those who are, by any outside measure, very good at what they do. That is its cruel logic. The higher you climb, the further there is to fall, so the fear keeps pace with your success. Underneath I hear one voice asking ‘If they saw how unsure I am, would they still keep me?’ and another insisting ‘I must prove this on my own, nobody can see me struggle.’ I disagree with the idea that more achievement will settle it. It settles when you meet the younger self who never felt sure of a place.”
Mark Colclough, MA, psychotherapist and EFT couples therapist
I am Mark Colclough, MA. I have practised since 2004 and offer online psychotherapy and couples therapy in English.
My training brings together your emotions, your thoughts and your relationships. My deep passion is the moment when what happens between you finally makes sense, to each of you and to each other. I have lived and worked in nine countries, so I know something of life across languages, cultures and borders.
Read about my background, or explore online psychotherapy and online couples therapy.
I meet regularly with experienced psychotherapists to reflect on my work, question my understanding and develop my skills. Supervision is part of the professional care I bring to individual and couples work, including online sessions.
My focus is thoughtful practice, integrity and responsibility.
You are welcome to ask about the kind of support you need.
Tell me where you are based and your time zone. We can then consider whether online sessions together are suitable.
Rafael is 37, a senior engineer from São Paulo who now leads a team at a software company in Dublin. When his manager announced the promotion, his colleagues clapped and Rafael felt sick. He rewrites his messages to the team 3 or 4 times, worried that his English will give him away. He stays late to check work he has already checked, and he has not told anyone, not even his wife, that he expects to be demoted by the summer.
I would start with the moment the promotion was announced, and what Rafael felt in his body before the doubt took over. In a first video session he would probably notice that the fear of being exposed is older than his career, and that it first appeared when he was the clever boy in a family that expected him to carry its hopes abroad.
I have presented this clinical example as a compound of 22 years of clinical practice.
You have collected the qualifications, the praise and the promotions, and still you cannot shake the sense that you are getting away with something.
Any time is a reasonable time to start therapy for imposter feelings, and there is no reason you must have. If the fear of being found out is shaping how you work and live, that is enough. You do not need a diagnosis, a clear explanation or a crisis before we meet. In 22 years of practice I have sat with many accomplished people who felt like frauds, and I can tell when self-doubt has hardened into a pattern worth attending to.
I will help you see what keeps the fear alive, what it is protecting and what needs to change. As you read the 6 questions below, notice which ones describe your working week.
If you are, take it seriously. You over-prepare, check your work again and again, answer messages at midnight and say yes to everything in case someone wonders whether you deserve your role. Your body pays for it in tension, poor sleep and a tiredness that weekends do not reach.
I would look at how long you have been working this way and whether it eases when you feel secure or never lets up. That tells us whether this is a stretching period or a long-standing pattern. If this is your life, book a session with me and we can look at what you are trying to prove.
Both can be true together, because each serves a different need. One part of you wants your work to be seen and valued. Another part fears that recognition will draw attention to everything you have not mastered, so praise brings a brief glow followed by dread.
I do not treat the ambitious part as vanity or the fearful part as weakness. Each is trying to look after you. I help you understand what the fear protects, often an old sense that being visible was risky, so you can accept recognition without bracing for a fall.
Yes, this vigilance is a hallmark of the fraud feeling. A manager’s pause, a colleague’s raised eyebrow or a short reply can feel like the moment you are finally exposed. You replay conversations, look for hidden meaning and struggle to settle until someone signals that you are still trusted.
Your wish to be valued and to belong is legitimate, and I will not dismiss it. What I help you change is the alarm that reads neutral signals as danger. We explore where you learned that acceptance could be withdrawn at any time, and you practise asking for feedback directly rather than decoding every reaction.
This back and forth is common, and it can puzzle you as much as anyone. You open up to a mentor, a friend or a partner, feel relief, then suddenly regret it and become distant. Closeness feels like support and like a risk of being found out, both at once.
In our sessions I slow this pattern down so we can find the precise moment openness turns into fear. Often it is the thought that once someone sees the real you, they will leave. I meet that protective move with compassion, and I will also ask you to notice when it pushes away the support you need.
Many people with imposter feelings cope by going it alone. When the pressure rises, you become very efficient, keep conversations factual and avoid asking for help, because needing support feels like admitting you are not good enough. Distance keeps the fear hidden, and it also keeps you isolated.
My view is that this independence has protected you, and wanting to rely on yourself is not a problem. I help you see what the self-reliance shields you from, so you can let one or two people in without feeling exposed. You learn to say “I am not sure about this, can we think it through together?” before the isolation becomes its own weight.
When your worth has always been tied to results, it can be hard to know who you are without them. You may have learned early that being clever or successful earned you a place in the family. Working abroad can sharpen this, because your role and your visa may feel like the only proof you belong there. That uncertainty shows how hard you have worked, not that you are lacking.
I help you separate the parts of your ambition that are truly yours from those you took on to secure love or approval. I will challenge you when I see you reducing yourself to your CV, but I will not hand you a new identity. The aim is a steadier sense of who you are and what you value.
If this describes you, start with a free call to see whether the fit is right, or book a session if you already feel ready.
You can also send me an email
Tell me briefly what kind of support you are looking for.
Include your country and time zone so we can discuss whether online work together is possible and find a suitable time.
You do not need to explain your whole story in your first message.
Your details are used to respond to your enquiry. Please leave detailed health information out of this form. Read the privacy policy for information about personal data, service providers and storage.
Understanding why you feel like a fraud is useful, but the work also has to change how you prepare, speak up, take credit and rest.
Working on the fraud feeling with me will help you understand what drives it, recognise the habits that keep it going and make changes you can feel in an ordinary working week. Knowing you are capable is not the same as feeling it, and insight without a change in how you act seldom shifts the fear.
In 22 years of practice I have seen that this work moves when I am actively engaged. I will guide you, tell you what I see and push back when an explanation lets the fear stay in charge. These 6 questions outline where we are heading.
Related reading: Why do I still feel like a fraud when I am doing well? and Why can’t I let anything be just good enough?.
I help you tell the heart of the problem from its effects. Over-preparing, avoiding visibility and dismissing praise are real, yet they are the fear in action rather than its source. Beneath them are particular beliefs and memories: that you were accepted only for performing, that you got in by luck, that someone will eventually notice.
I offer my honest reading of what is happening, what needs attention first and which stories keep you stuck. When the time feels right, book a session with me and we start to trace it.
You can learn the early signals that come before the familiar spiral. Perhaps it is a hot face when your name comes up, a thought that you are about to be found out or an urge to over-explain. Seeing the first signal gives you room to respond differently.
In our sessions I help you slow that chain down and understand what sets it off and what it guards against. Recognising it is a start. We then practise a new response, such as asking one plain question in a meeting, until it feels natural without me there.
Calming down does not mean pretending you are not nervous. It means staying present enough to notice what is happening and choose how you respond. Some nervousness is natural before something that matters. Much of the fraud alarm, though, is responding to an old threat rather than the room in front of you.
I help you notice the alarm sooner and understand what your body is bracing for, often an early experience of being judged. You will need to practise between sessions, including in small moments, such as taking one slow breath before you unmute.
Clear communication begins with knowing what you think and trusting that it has value. The fraud feeling often hides your view behind qualifiers, long explanations or a quick apology. When you keep holding back, frustration and self-doubt grow together.
We work on saying what you mean in fewer, steadier words. I will challenge you when you shrink your contribution, and also when you hand other people the job of reassuring you. We often rehearse a real situation, such as stating your view in a meeting without a preamble.
Decisions become clearer when you separate fear, obligation and other people’s expectations from what you actually know and want. The fraud feeling pushes you either to turn down opportunities in case you fail or to accept everything to prove you can.
I help you weigh your options honestly and see what each one would ask of you. You will get my view, and I will point out when the fear seems to be choosing, but the decision remains yours. If you are questioning your whole career path, online career crossroads therapy explores that more closely.
Lasting change has to reach your working days, not only our sessions. You may need to prepare less, ask for help sooner, accept praise without deflecting it and build relationships where you do not always have to be impressive.
With you, I sort the habits worth changing from the ones worth keeping. Your conscientiousness and drive are not the problem, and we will not try to remove them. The goal is a working life in which you can use your abilities without constantly defending your right to have them.
You can also send me an email
You do not need to prove anything or explain yourself perfectly. We begin with what is happening now and what you want to change.
When you begin, I listen carefully, help you name the central difficulty and set a clear direction from the first session. Nothing is graded here, and nobody is checking whether you belong.
Online imposter syndrome therapy is one focused part of my online psychotherapy, structured individual work on your inner life and your relationships, and it sits within online stress therapy. If your self-doubt mostly plays out in your partnership, and your partner is willing, online couples therapy offers long-term relational development and healing. If you already sense the work will take a while, a therapy bundle gives you real savings and the security of a plan.
In the first session I ask what brought you to look for help now, where the fraud feeling shows up most, what you have tried and what you would like to be different. We do not need your whole life story to begin.
Before the end I give you my first impression and suggest a direction. You then decide whether my approach feels useful to you. If you would like to talk before deciding, book a free 30-minute call first.
Individual work is right when the fraud feeling lives mainly in you: your inner voice, your body, your history and the way you show up at work and in relationships. We can explore those relationships closely without anyone else attending.
In individual work I bring direction, continuity and honest challenge to each session. If your self-doubt is one thread among several, online psychotherapy describes my structured individual work more broadly.
Couples therapy is the better route when your relationship needs sustained attention for its own sake. If your partner feels shut out of your worries, if you keep clashing over work and home, or if one of you seeks reassurance while the other pulls back, working together usually helps more.
In couples work I help you both see the cycle between you, take responsibility for your parts and create steadier ways of supporting each other. Online couples therapy is long-term relational development and healing, and some people work individually first and move to couples sessions later.
The right pace depends on how strongly the fear affects you, how much space your life has right now and how much continuity the work needs.
I usually recommend weekly or fortnightly sessions to begin. I will tell you honestly if the gaps are too long for change to hold, or if we can safely meet less often. Sessions can also be arranged back-to-back over a few days, which some people prefer around a demanding role or frequent travel.
A bundle is worth it when you know the work will take a series of sessions and you want continuity instead of weighing up after each one whether to go on. People who feel like frauds often doubt they deserve the time, and a set plan quietly answers that doubt.
A bundle reduces the price of each session and gives you the safety of an agreed structure. More detail is on therapy discounts and bundles, with the cards a little further down.
Therapy has done its job when you have more ownership, clarity and choice, and the fear of exposure has shifted enough for you to continue without the same support. Doubt may still visit before a big step, but it no longer makes your decisions.
I review progress openly and do not encourage therapy that goes on without purpose. We can meet less often, pause or stop when the work is done. Returning later with something new does not mean the earlier work was wasted.
Unsure whether to start here? Here is how online imposter syndrome therapy compares with the options people who doubt themselves at work most often consider.
| Option | Choose it when | Pace |
|---|---|---|
| Online imposter syndrome therapy (this page) | You fear being exposed as not good enough, despite clear evidence of your ability. | Weekly 1-hour video sessions at first |
| Online perfectionism therapy | Impossible standards and constant checking are your main struggle. | Weekly or fortnightly video sessions |
| Online stress therapy | How much you carry is the real problem, more than self-doubt. | Weekly 1-hour video sessions at first |
| Online social anxiety therapy | You fear judgement in most social settings, not only at work. | A steady course of video sessions |
Online imposter syndrome therapy with me is individual psychotherapy by video, in English, for capable adults who live with a persistent fear of being found out. It helps you understand where that fear comes from and what keeps it going, so you can stand behind your abilities.
I work in depth, with the whole person rather than the symptom: your feelings, your body, your relationships and the expectations you grew up with. It is part of my online stress therapy.
Come when the fear of being exposed is shaping your choices, costing you sleep or keeping you from opportunities you want. If you suspect your self-doubt is out of proportion to the facts, take that seriously.
I look at how long the feeling has been with you, where it shows up and what it has cost you. When it persists however much success you collect, it deserves proper attention.
Because the fraud feeling does not live in your reasoning. It lives in older emotional learning, often from childhood, which logic alone does not reach. Therapy can help, though I cannot promise how much will change and I do not offer quick fixes.
In my clinical experience, people who know they are capable but still feel like frauds usually learned early that their place depended on performing. We work with that earlier experience directly, which is where the feeling can begin to change.
Often, yes. Working in a language you were not raised in can make you feel less articulate than you are, and accents or small slips can feed the fear that others will see through you.
Having lived and worked in several countries myself, I take this seriously. We separate the real challenge of working across languages from the old fear it awakens. If your life abroad is the bigger theme, psychotherapy for people living abroad looks at that more widely.
Both are ways of managing the fear of not being good enough. Some people seek repeated confirmation that they are doing well. Others keep their doubts entirely private so nobody can see them. It is how you learned to cope with uncertainty about your worth, not a character flaw.
I help you see which way you lean under pressure, what that move is trying to secure and what it costs you. Then we build steadier options: asking for feedback in a direct way, and keeping some things private without hiding.
We begin with the present. I ask where the fraud feeling is strongest, what happens in your body when it rises and what you want to change. By the end you will have my first impressions and a suggested way forward.
You do not need to arrive with polished answers, and nobody here is evaluating you. Choose your first session, or start with a free 30-minute call if you would like to talk first.
Plan for a course of sessions over a few months rather than one conversation. That is usually enough to understand the pattern and start acting differently. If the fraud feeling is bound up with early family expectations, it may take longer.
In 22 years of practice I have found that a clear first stretch with honest reviews works much better than drifting. At each review we choose together whether to continue, slow down or end.
Yes, for most people. Many find it easier to drop the professional mask from their own room, and video means your therapy continues if your career takes you to another country. It also keeps your sessions private from colleagues and your local network.
Practically, you need a door that closes, a laptop or tablet, headphones and decent internet. The booking calendar shows times in your own time zone, and we can sort out practical questions on a free call.
Individual psychotherapy with me runs as 1-hour online sessions, with 50 minutes of therapy in each. You can check the current fees, quoted in US dollars, on my prices page.
If you expect the work to take a while, a therapy bundle saves 10 per cent per session and gives you a clear structure. Therapy discounts and bundles sets out the options.
Book your first session directly, or ask for a free 30-minute call if you would like to talk first. Each opening in the calendar is displayed in your own time zone.
If none of the times suit you, or the situation feels acute, write to me. I keep some room for acute cases, usually within days, and acute online psychotherapy explains that option. You have nothing to prove before we start. Choose a time.
You can also send me an email
I want therapy to help you understand your experience and make choices you can use in everyday life. We pay attention to feelings, needs and the responses that happen before you have time to think.
Our online room should offer enough trust and honesty to explore what is difficult. I bring attention and professional judgement. You bring your experience, questions and the right to say when something does not fit.
Sign up for my occasional writing on feelings, relationships and life between cultures. No spam, and you can unsubscribe whenever you like.
Please fill in your details and I’ll contact you soon. I use your details to reply to your enquiry, talk through practicalities and, if you wish, arrange an online session. Requesting a call also adds your email address to my mailing list. Please do not write sensitive information in the message field.
Clicking the button adds your email address to my mailing list. Please read the Privacy Policy for more information.
P.S. I’ll call you in a bit!
