In this short video, I explain how I shape sessions for AuDHD couples in a crisis: enough structure to feel safe, enough flexibility to keep everyone engaged.
You can also send me an email
Acute online AuDHD couples therapy helps English-speaking couples across the globe when autism and ADHD live together in one or both partners and the relationship has suddenly hit a wall. We meet by video within days, for two hours at a stretch with breaks you set, at a time that suits your clock.
First we calm the storm. Then we look at how the pull between routine and stimulation, focus and overwhelm, has played out between you, and you decide what comes next. This page brings together acute online couples therapy and online AuDHD couples therapy.
Ready? Book a session, ask for a free 30-minute call or get in touch. The client policy explains the terms.
Acute online AuDHD couples therapy fits couples in any country when AuDHD shapes one or both of you and something has just gone badly wrong. You want help soon from someone who understands both the autistic and the ADHD side.
Another page may suit you better:
You can also send me an email
These reviews describe clients’ experiences of working with me. They come from my wider practice and do not all relate to online sessions. Each person’s experience is their own, and a review does not promise a particular outcome.
“When a couple sits down with me in the first week after a shock, and AuDHD is part of their story, I often see a relationship pulled in two directions at once. There is a need for sameness and a need for spark, a need to be left alone and a need to be pulled close, sometimes inside the same person on the same evening. Under stress, those pulls stop taking turns and start fighting. My first task is to calm that fight enough that each of you can say what you need right now, and be believed.”
Mark Colclough, MA, psychotherapist and EFT couples therapist
I am Mark Colclough, MA. I have practised since 2004 and offer online psychotherapy and couples therapy in English.
My training brings together your emotions, your thoughts and your relationships. My deep passion is the moment when what happens between you finally makes sense, to each of you and to each other. I have lived and worked in nine countries, so I know something of life across languages, cultures and borders.
Read about my background, or explore online psychotherapy and online couples therapy.
I meet regularly with experienced psychotherapists to reflect on my work, question my understanding and develop my skills. Supervision is part of the professional care I bring to individual and couples work, including online sessions.
My focus is thoughtful practice, integrity and responsibility.
You are welcome to ask about the kind of support you need.
Tell me where you are based and your time zone. We can then consider whether online sessions together are suitable.
Malik is AuDHD and lives in London with his partner Rose. After a chaotic month at work, he books a weekend away on impulse to make up for being absent. Rose, who needed a quiet weekend at home, is furious. Malik feels his effort has been thrown back at him and shuts down for two days. Rose says she does not know how much more of this she can take.
In the first video session we study the month that led up to the weekend, not just the weekend itself. They agree two fixed quiet evenings a week and one ‘open’ day for spontaneous plans, agreed in advance. Malik learns to say ‘I’m going quiet’ before he disappears.
I have presented this clinical example as a compound of 22 years of clinical practice.
Everything feels too much and too fast, and the relationship is taking the strain.
AuDHD can mean living with two opposite pulls: craving routine and craving novelty, needing quiet and needing stimulation. In a relationship, those pulls can collide hard when stress rises.
In a crisis, you do not need a lecture on neurotypes. You need a plan that respects both pulls, and a calmer week.
Mornings can be scattered and loud, evenings silent and shut down. Neither of you knows which version of the day you will get.
We look at the rhythm of your days and build in anchors that hold even when energy swings.
One partner books a trip or changes a plan on impulse; the other, who needs predictability, is thrown into overload. Or the same person does both, and feels torn in two.
We find a way to make room for spontaneity without wrecking the structure.
When both of you are depleted at once, nobody has spare capacity to steady the other.
We take load off wherever we can, quickly, so at least one of you can breathe.
A sudden change can trigger a meltdown, followed by a wave of guilt and self-criticism. The partner who witnessed it may feel scared or helpless.
We look at the build-up, the moment itself and the repair afterwards.
When one of you says ‘I can’t do this any more’, it can mean the end, or it can mean ‘I am completely overloaded’.
We slow things down until you both know which it is.
Advice built for ADHD alone, or for autism alone, often misses half the picture.
We work with both sides of how you function, and adjust as we go.
Sound like you? Request a call, book a session or send me a message, whichever is easiest.
You can also send me an email
Tell me briefly what kind of support you are looking for.
Include your country and time zone so we can discuss whether online work together is possible and find a suitable time.
You do not need to explain your whole story in your first message.
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Calm the storm first. Understand the two pulls next. Decide last.
Acute online AuDHD couples therapy moves in that order. We lower the overload, look at how the AuDHD mix has shaped your pattern, and only then consider the bigger decisions.
We agree a short written plan with a few fixed anchors each day and some free space around them: a quiet hour, a check-in time, a signal for ‘too much’.
Yes. We map the early signs for each of you, whether they point towards exploding or freezing, and agree what to do when you spot them.
One of you may want to sort it out now, the other may need hours or days. We find a pace you can both live with, using writing, timers and breaks.
After a blow-up, one person may need closeness and reassurance; after a shutdown, another may need silence and space. We name those needs and plan how to meet them.
Big decisions are split into small steps, timed for moments when focus is available, and written down so nothing gets lost.
Once things settle, many couples continue with online AuDHD couples therapy at a calmer pace. Some move to the ADHD or autism page if one thread turns out to matter most.
You can also send me an email
Nobody expects a neat explanation of your AuDHD in advance. We discover it together.
Early on, both of you describe events in your own words, we chart the signs of overload in each of you, and a brief plan for the week takes shape.
Where another format would fit better, you will hear it from me.
It is a two-hour video meeting: agenda first, breaks when you need them, a written recap to close.
Yes. Sessions have a clear frame and room to move within it. You can fidget, stand, type, turn the camera off for a moment or ask for a recap. Tell me what helps.
Often this week, if my diary allows. Grab the first open 2-hour slot, or message me.
Two hours, with pauses that follow your energy rather than the clock. Frequent at the start, further apart later.
Situations like yours normally need a cluster of sessions. A bundle fixes the dates, reduces the cost of each and takes one decision off your plate. Options are in the cards below.
The highs and lows are gentler, you have a routine for rising overload, and plans for the future no longer send either of you into a flood or a freeze.
Your closest options at a glance:
| Option | Choose it when | Pace |
|---|---|---|
| Acute online AuDHD couples therapy (this page) | AuDHD is part of a relationship in sudden crisis. | 2-hour sessions with flexible breaks |
| Online AuDHD couples therapy | Tough, though nothing has just blown up. | 2 hours every few weeks |
| Acute online AuDHD couples therapy alone | You are the only one willing to start. | 1-hour sessions alone |
| Acute online neurodiverse couples therapy | You are not sure which neurotype label fits. | 2-hour sessions with breaks |
It is targeted video work for couples living with AuDHD at a moment of sudden crisis. First comes calm, then a look at what drove things here. Available in English in any country.
No. A suspicion or a profile you have recognised in yourself is enough. What matters is how it shows up day to day.
No. AuDHD is a way of functioning, not a fault. Both partners shape the pattern, and both deserve to be understood.
That is common. The other partner may be neurotypical, autistic or have ADHD. I adjust the work to all the minds in the room.
Yes. Many AuDHD couples do best with a mix. We decide together what each session needs.
For most AuDHD couples, yes. Home means familiar surroundings, your own lighting and no journey. Separate rooms and screens are fine too.
Whoever is ready can begin solo. Acute online AuDHD couples therapy alone is made for that.
Hard to say up front. Some couples settle within a few meetings, others benefit from weeks of support. We check in regularly.
Every session is a 2-hour online couples session. The prices page shows fees in US dollars, and a therapy bundle cuts them by 10 per cent.
Use my online calendar, ask for a free 30-minute call or simply message me.
You can also send me an email
I want therapy to help you understand your experience and make choices you can use in everyday life. We pay attention to feelings, needs and the responses that happen before you have time to think.
Our online room should offer enough trust and honesty to explore what is difficult. I bring attention and professional judgement. You bring your experience, questions and the right to say when something does not fit.
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P.S. I’ll call you in a bit!
