In this short video, I describe the strains I meet again and again in couples who live abroad, and how online sessions help you find your footing together.
You can also send me an email
Couples therapy for couples living abroad is online couples therapy, in English, for partners whose life has taken them far from home. Perhaps you moved for work, love or adventure, and one of you now feels like the foreigner. By video, in your time zone, we look at both of you and life abroad.
This branch of my online couples therapy has pages for one partner alone, EFT, mixed-nationality couples, infidelity and separation.
You can ask for a free 30-minute call, book a session, read my client policy or write to me.
This page is for couples living abroad, wherever that is, when the life you built far from home has started to strain the relationship. Both of you take part, by video.
This page is for couples where life abroad is a big part of the strain. If one of these fits better, follow its link.
You can also send me an email
These reviews describe clients’ experiences of working with me. They come from my wider practice and do not all relate to online sessions. Each person’s experience is their own, and a review does not promise a particular outcome.
“Having lived and worked in nine countries myself, I know how a move can quietly rearrange a relationship. The partner who followed often loses a career, a language and a circle of friends in one go, while the other is busy proving themselves in a new job. Neither of you planned it, and both of you feel it. I often hear the same two questions underneath the arguments: ‘Do you see what I gave up?’ and ‘Do you see how hard I am trying?’. When both questions are answered, life abroad becomes something you face together instead of something that comes between you.”
Mark Colclough, MA, psychotherapist and EFT couples therapist
I am Mark Colclough, MA. I have practised since 2004 and offer online psychotherapy and couples therapy in English.
My training brings together your emotions, your thoughts and your relationships. My deep passion is the moment when what happens between you finally makes sense, to each of you and to each other. I have lived and worked in nine countries, so I know something of life across languages, cultures and borders.
Read about my background, or explore online psychotherapy and online couples therapy.
I meet regularly with experienced psychotherapists to reflect on my work, question my understanding and develop my skills. Supervision is part of the professional care I bring to individual and couples work, including online sessions.
My focus is thoughtful practice, integrity and responsibility.
You are welcome to ask about the kind of support you need.
Tell me where you are based and your time zone. We can then consider whether online sessions together are suitable.
Mikkel is Danish and Valeria is Mexican. They met in Copenhagen and moved to Guadalajara two years ago to be near her family. Valeria is back among friends and cousins. Mikkel works remotely, speaks halting Spanish and spends most evenings alone while she visits relatives. When he says he feels left out, Valeria hears that he regrets the move, and that he blames her for it.
In our online sessions they see that the argument is not really about Sunday lunches. Mikkel is grieving the life he left, and Valeria is frightened that he will leave. Once both feelings are spoken, they plan a week that has room for her family and for the two of them.
I have presented this clinical example as a compound of 22 years of clinical practice.
You set off on this life together. Now the relationship needs some looking after.
Moving abroad can draw a couple close, and it can also stretch them thin. Suddenly you are each other’s best friend, family and support line, while one of you builds a career and the other starts from zero.
In couples therapy for couples living abroad, I often see partners blame themselves for trouble that the move itself has stirred up. Seeing that clearly is a relief, and it gives you somewhere to start.
Far from friends and family, little problems grow. There is nobody round the corner to vent to, so everything lands on your partner.
We look at how much you are carrying for each other, and where else support could come from.
How punctual to be, how loud to argue, how often to see the in-laws, who pays for what. Habits you never thought about can turn daily life tense.
Together we get curious about those differences, instead of judging them.
Often one partner thrives at work while the other battles the language, the job market, the weather or plain loneliness. For a Dane abroad, it can be a shock to be the one who does not belong.
We give that loneliness a proper voice in the relationship.
A move can reshuffle who earns, who decides and who relies on whom. Left unspoken, those shifts sour into resentment.
We bring them into the open, so you can agree a new deal that works for you both.
Parents and siblings in two or more countries may have firm views on holidays, grandchildren, money and loyalty.
I help you settle, as a couple, how you will handle them.
Whether to stay put, accept a new posting or move back is a choice about your relationship as much as about a map.
We give it real time, so it becomes a decision you share.
Recognise this? Request a call or book a session, and we will begin with what weighs most.
You can also send me an email
Tell me briefly what kind of support you are looking for.
Include your country and time zone so we can discuss whether online work together is possible and find a suitable time.
You do not need to explain your whole story in your first message.
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Two backgrounds, one home. The work is shaping a partnership that fits you both.
We look at the pattern between you, the pressures of life abroad that feed it and the feelings beneath. Then we build new ways to talk, decide and back each other up.
In couples therapy for couples living abroad, I help you tell the stress of the move apart from the trouble in the relationship itself. Usually each one fuels the other, and seeing that takes away a lot of blame.
Both, usually, and it helps to know which is which. I ask what a habit or belief means to the person who holds it, instead of pinning it on a passport.
Yes. Many couples speak English together while neither is a native speaker. I slow down and check meaning, so the important things are not lost in translation.
Yes. We look at how you split work, money, family and decisions, so the balance feels fair in the life you are living now.
We weigh the practical side and the emotional side separately, then bring them together. That way nobody feels the decision was made over their head.
A fair balance, support beyond each other, respect for both cultures and a way to talk when things are hard. That is what we work towards.
You can also send me an email
You do not need a plan or the perfect words. Joining the call is enough.
In the first sessions of couples therapy for couples living abroad, I listen to you both, sketch the pattern between you and look at how life abroad is feeding it. If another kind of help would suit you better, I will tell you.
You join together for two hours, by video. I ask about your story, your move, what keeps going wrong and what each of you hopes for. Before we finish, we agree on a focus.
I treat culture as one thread among many. I ask where a belief comes from in your own life, and I do not assume your nationality explains you.
It varies. In couples therapy for couples living abroad, many couples meet every two to three weeks for a few months, and we review together as we go.
We plan around travel and time zones. If a steady rhythm is impossible, back-to-back couples therapy for couples living abroad may suit you better.
If you expect several sessions, a bundle gives you a plan and a lower price per session. The bundle cards further down show the options.
Couples therapy for couples living abroad has done its job when you argue less, feel like a team again and can talk about the future without dread. Then we decide together whether to continue, pause or stop.
Not sure couples therapy for couples living abroad is your page? These are the closest options.
| Option | Choose it when | Pace |
|---|---|---|
| Couples therapy for couples living abroad (this page) | Life abroad is putting strain on the relationship. | 2-hour sessions every two to three weeks |
| Mixed-nationality couples therapy | You grew up in different countries, and that is the main theme. | 2-hour sessions every two to three weeks |
| EFT couples therapy, living abroad | You want EFT in particular. | A series of 2-hour sessions |
| Online couples therapy | Life abroad is not the main issue. | 2-hour sessions every two to three weeks |
Couples therapy for couples living abroad is online couples therapy, in English, for couples living outside the country they grew up in. It looks at your relationship together with the pressures of life abroad: isolation, career sacrifice, culture, family far away and where to settle.
Yes. Two Danes in Singapore or Berlin can feel just as far from home as any international couple. Being foreign together brings its own strains, and that is exactly what this page is about.
Yes. We explore what each difference means to each of you and find ways to live with it, instead of deciding who is right.
That is a common and painful question. We look at it honestly from both sides, without pushing either answer.
Yes. Isolation abroad affects the whole relationship. We look at what the lonely partner needs, and how you can both respond.
Yes. All sessions on this site are in English, which most international couples use together anyway.
Yes. Many couples I see grew up in different countries. When nationality itself is central, see mixed-nationality couples therapy.
Then acute online couples therapy is the faster place to start. We can turn to life abroad once things are steadier.
Sessions are 2-hour online couples sessions. Current fees, in US dollars, are on my prices page, and a therapy bundle saves you 10 per cent.
Choose a time in the calendar, which shows your own time zone, or ask for a free 30-minute call to talk it over first.
You can also send me an email
I want therapy to help you understand your experience and make choices you can use in everyday life. We pay attention to feelings, needs and the responses that happen before you have time to think.
Our online room should offer enough trust and honesty to explore what is difficult. I bring attention and professional judgement. You bring your experience, questions and the right to say when something does not fit.
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P.S. I’ll call you in a bit!
