In this short video, I explain how EFT can work with one partner, online, and why a change on your side can reach the whole relationship.
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EFT couples therapy alone, living abroad, is EFT, emotion-focused couples therapy, meant for a single partner based outside the country where they grew up. Just you on the screen, at an hour that suits your clock. We look at the emotional cycle between you and your partner, and at how distance from home feeds it.
It is the one-person form of EFT couples therapy, living abroad, and part of my work for couples living abroad.
You can ask for a free 30-minute call, book a session, read my client policy or write to me.
Here you work alone, from any country, if you want to use EFT to understand and change their side of the cycle with their partner. You join on your own.
Solo EFT is one option among several. Where another line describes you better, its link will serve you well.
You can also send me an email
These reviews describe clients’ experiences of working with me. They come from my wider practice and do not all relate to online sessions. Each person’s experience is their own, and a review does not promise a particular outcome.
“Since training with the EFT Institute in Copenhagen, I have learned to trust what one person can do on their own. People often tell me there is no point coming without their partner. Then, a few sessions in, they stop chasing, or they stop disappearing, and the whole dance between them begins to shift. Living abroad makes that work matter even more, because your partner may be your only close person for miles. You cannot change them. You can change how you step in, and that is often where the relationship turns.”
Mark Colclough, MA, psychotherapist and EFT couples therapist
I am Mark Colclough, MA. I have practised since 2004 and offer online psychotherapy and couples therapy in English.
My training brings together your emotions, your thoughts and your relationships. My deep passion is the moment when what happens between you finally makes sense, to each of you and to each other. I have lived and worked in nine countries, so I know something of life across languages, cultures and borders.
Read about my background, or explore online psychotherapy and online couples therapy.
I meet regularly with experienced psychotherapists to reflect on my work, question my understanding and develop my skills. Supervision is part of the professional care I bring to individual and couples work, including online sessions.
My focus is thoughtful practice, integrity and responsibility.
You are welcome to ask about the kind of support you need.
Tell me where you are based and your time zone. We can then consider whether online sessions together are suitable.
Freja is Danish and lives in Buenos Aires with her Argentinian partner, Martín. When he comes home late, she bombards him with messages and questions. Martín goes quiet, and the quieter he goes, the more lost Freja feels in a city where she still has few friends. Martín does not believe in therapy.
In our EFT sessions, Freja sees how her fear of being alone abroad drives the chase. She learns to say ‘I missed you, and I feel lonely here’ instead of ‘Where were you?’. Martín softens, and the evenings start to change.
I have presented this clinical example as a compound of 22 years of clinical practice.
It only takes one person to start changing a dance.
Abroad, your partner may be the only person close to you for hundreds of kilometres. When the two of you get stuck, the stakes feel sky high, and there may be nobody to talk it through with.
EFT couples therapy alone, living abroad, gives you a place to understand your half of the cycle and practise a new response.
You ask, you wait, you ask again. The more you reach, the further your partner seems to drift. Underneath, you are frightened of being alone in a country that is not yours.
We slow the chase down, so you can show the fear instead of the frustration.
Some people abroad cope by shutting down: busy, polite, unreachable. It feels like keeping the peace. Your partner feels shut out.
We look at what the silence protects, and how to stay present when feelings rise.
Missing family, a language you never fully own, a career on hold. Those losses rarely get spoken, so they come out sideways as irritation.
We give them words, so they stop hijacking ordinary evenings.
Your partner may think therapy is strange, unnecessary or a judgement on them. You can still begin.
EFT works with the cycle, and you are half of it.
A late reply or a sigh can set off a reaction that surprises even you. EFT looks for the old fear or hurt underneath, so you can meet it rather than act on it.
Some people want to understand EFT first, and invite their partner later. That is a perfectly good way in.
Recognise yourself? Request a call or book a session, and we will begin with your side of the dance.
You can also send me an email
Tell me briefly what kind of support you are looking for.
Include your country and time zone so we can discuss whether online work together is possible and find a suitable time.
You do not need to explain your whole story in your first message.
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You cannot control your partner. You can change the way you step into the cycle.
We map your moves in the cycle, find the feelings underneath and practise new responses. You then try them at home and we look at what happened.
Moment by moment, we trace what you do, feel and fear when things go wrong between you. Most people see their pattern far more clearly within a few sessions.
Anger often guards fear. Withdrawal often guards shame. Finding the feeling beneath your reaction is the turning point in EFT.
Yes. We practise saying ‘I feel lost here’ or ‘I need you’ in plain words, so your partner can hear a need rather than a complaint.
Yes. You learn to notice the first signs in your body and slow yourself down before the old reaction takes over.
Yes. A soft, clear request lands very differently from a demand. We practise it until it starts to feel natural.
Often it does. When you answer in a new way, your partner has something new to answer. If they later want to join, EFT couples therapy, living abroad is open to you both.
You can also send me an email
Your partner does not need to agree, and you do not need the right words. Logging in is enough.
In our first sessions of EFT couples therapy alone, living abroad, I hear your story, your move and how the cycle with your partner plays out. If another kind of help would suit you better, I will tell you.
One hour, on screen, just you and me. We look at a typical hard moment with your partner and start to map your side of it. Before we finish, we agree a focus.
EFT sees a couple as one system. When one partner changes their moves, the other has to respond to something new, so the cycle starts to shift.
Yes. Some partners decide to come once they notice the change in you.
Weekly or fortnightly while the cycle is still loud, then less often as it settles. You and I agree the rhythm.
EFT unfolds over several sessions, so a bundle often makes sense. It sets a plan and lowers the price per hour. The bundle cards further down show the options.
You catch the cycle sooner, stay steadier and ask for what you need more clearly. Then we decide together what comes next.
Not sure EFT couples therapy alone, living abroad, is your page? These are the closest options.
| Option | Choose it when | Pace |
|---|---|---|
| EFT couples therapy alone, living abroad (this page) | You are abroad and want to work with EFT by yourself. | Weekly or fortnightly 1-hour sessions |
| EFT couples therapy, living abroad | Your partner is willing to join. | A series of 2-hour sessions |
| Couples therapy alone, living abroad | You would like a wider approach than EFT. | Single hours, by yourself |
| EFT online couples therapy alone | Living abroad plays no real role. | Hour-long sessions alone |
EFT couples therapy alone, living abroad, is one-to-one online EFT, emotion-focused couples therapy, for someone living outside their home country. We work on your side of the emotional cycle with your partner, and on how life abroad feeds it. Sessions are in English.
Yes. EFT sees the couple as one system. A change in how you respond tends to change how your partner responds, even if they never join.
Yes. Feeling like the expat inside your own home can happen to anyone living abroad, and it often drives the cycle. We work with exactly that.
Yes. Loneliness, homesickness and choices about where to live often sit inside the cycle, so we bring them in.
Yes. I work in English with everyone who books through this site, whatever their first language.
I have trained with the EFT Institute in Copenhagen, and I combine EFT with 22 years of clinical practice.
No. I am on the side of the relationship and of you. That includes showing you, kindly, your own part in the cycle.
For the first days and weeks after a shock, acute EFT couples therapy alone, living abroad is made for that.
Each EFT session alone lasts an hour. My prices page lists the current fee in US dollars, and paying for a bundle of sessions up front takes 10 per cent off.
Pick an hour that suits you. The calendar converts times to where you live. Prefer to talk first? Ask for a free 30-minute call.
You can also send me an email
I want therapy to help you understand your experience and make choices you can use in everyday life. We pay attention to feelings, needs and the responses that happen before you have time to think.
Our online room should offer enough trust and honesty to explore what is difficult. I bring attention and professional judgement. You bring your experience, questions and the right to say when something does not fit.
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P.S. I’ll call you in a bit!
