In this short video, I explain how EFT can help one partner step out of a painful pattern, even when the other will not join.
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EFT online couples therapy alone is for one partner who keeps meeting the same painful loop at home, while the other partner will not take part. EFT, emotion-focused couples therapy, helps you understand your own moves in that loop, the need for closeness underneath them and how to respond in a new way.
Each session is one hour, held in English over video, at a time of day that fits your time zone. It is the solo branch of EFT online couples therapy. If you want help with the relationship more broadly, online couples therapy alone is the wider option.
You can ask for a free 30-minute call, book a session, read my client policy or send me a message.
EFT online couples therapy alone suits one partner, in any country, who sees the same painful loop at home while the other partner will not take part.
EFT alone helps most when the loop is the problem and you are ready to look at your own part. If one of these fits better, follow its link.
You can also send me an email
These reviews describe clients’ experiences of working with me. They come from my wider practice and do not all relate to online sessions. Each person’s experience is their own, and a review does not promise a particular outcome.
“Since training with the EFT Institute in Copenhagen, I have watched one person shift a relationship many times. It rarely happens by trying harder or finding cleverer words. It happens when you can feel what you are really asking in the middle of the loop, perhaps ‘Don’t leave me alone with this’, and guess what your partner may be asking, perhaps ‘Give me room so I don’t fail you again’. Once you know that, you stop playing your old part on autopilot. I cannot promise what your partner will do. I can help you stop waiting for them to move first.”
Mark Colclough, MA, psychotherapist and EFT couples therapist
I am Mark Colclough, MA. I have practised since 2004 and offer online psychotherapy and couples therapy in English.
My training brings together your emotions, your thoughts and your relationships. My deep passion is the moment when what happens between you finally makes sense, to each of you and to each other. I have lived and worked in nine countries, so I know something of life across languages, cultures and borders.
Read about my background, or explore online psychotherapy and online couples therapy.
I meet regularly with experienced psychotherapists to reflect on my work, question my understanding and develop my skills. Supervision is part of the professional care I bring to individual and couples work, including online sessions.
My focus is thoughtful practice, integrity and responsibility.
You are welcome to ask about the kind of support you need.
Tell me where you are based and your time zone. We can then consider whether online sessions together are suitable.
Elena lives in Barcelona with her husband Tom. She has asked him three times to try couples therapy, and each time he says they can sort it out themselves. Most evenings Elena raises something that hurt her, Tom answers in a flat voice and Elena grows louder until he leaves the room. She lies awake, sure that the right explanation would finally reach him.
In our online sessions, Elena learns to notice the moment her voice starts to rise, and the fear of being ignored underneath. She practises saying, softly and once, that she misses him. A few weeks later Tom stays in the room, and for the first time in months they talk without shouting.
I have presented this clinical example as a compound of 22 years of clinical practice.
A dance always has two people in it. Change one person’s steps, and the dance has to change.
This work fits when you can see a repeating pattern, such as chase and retreat, criticism and silence, and you want to start with the part you can actually influence.
You do not need your partner’s agreement to begin. You need curiosity about your own reactions and some patience with yourself.
Perhaps you have asked more than once, and the answer was no, not yet or not with a stranger.
You can stop waiting. We begin with you, and leave the door open for your partner.
When you feel shut out, you push, explain or criticise. Each time, your partner moves further away.
We slow that moment down until you can feel the fear underneath, and choose a different move.
When the temperature rises, you go silent, change the subject or leave the room. It keeps the peace for an evening, and leaves both of you lonely.
We look at what you are protecting, and find a way to stay present a little longer.
You may feel lonely and wonder whether your needs are simply too big, or whether you have stopped asking at all.
In EFT, needing closeness is not a flaw. We work out what you need and how to say it.
You go over the argument again and again, looking for the perfect words that would finally get through.
The words are rarely the problem. We look at the pattern behind them instead.
Waiting for your partner to change first can take years. Starting with your side often moves things far sooner.
I cannot promise what your partner will do. I can help you stop waiting.
Recognise yourself? Request a call or book a session, and we will begin to map your half of the dance.
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Tell me briefly what kind of support you are looking for.
Include your country and time zone so we can discuss whether online work together is possible and find a suitable time.
You do not need to explain your whole story in your first message.
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Seeing your own steps comes first. Trying new ones is where the change begins.
EFT online couples therapy alone follows the same map as joint EFT. We make the loop visible, find the feelings and needs that drive your side of it, and practise new ways of reaching out or staying present.
We take a recent hard moment and go through it slowly: what happened, what you felt in your body, what you feared and what you did. Seen in slow motion, your own part becomes clear.
Yes. You learn your early warning signs, such as a tight chest, a rising voice or the urge to leave, and what to do in the seconds after you notice them.
Under the complaint there is usually a longing: to matter, to be chosen, to be safe. We find yours and put words to it.
A soft request is harder to dismiss than an attack. We practise saying what you need in a way that invites your partner closer instead of pushing them back.
Often from what you learned about closeness growing up. Knowing where a reaction comes from makes it easier to choose another one.
Many people find the atmosphere at home eases. Some partners start to respond differently. Some become curious enough to join the sessions.
You can also send me an email
You do not need to explain it perfectly. We start with the moment that hurts most.
In our first sessions I listen to your side of the relationship, ask about your history and map the loop as you experience it.
If EFT alone is not the right fit, I will say so and suggest what is.
For an hour on screen, we walk through one typical hard moment, what stirs in you and what you wish for. By the end, you leave with one clear thing to watch for.
General online couples therapy alone looks at the relationship in a broad, practical way. EFT alone goes deeper into the emotional loop and the attachment needs underneath it.
Of course, once you both agree. From then on the work can continue as EFT online couples therapy, with both of you on screen.
In EFT online couples therapy alone, people usually meet every week or every other week, so the new steps have time to take root between sessions.
EFT unfolds over a series of sessions, so a bundle often fits well. You get a clear plan and a lower price per session. The bundle cards further down show the options.
You react less on autopilot, you can name what you need and the loop at home has lost some of its force. Then we decide together what comes next.
Comparing your choices? Here are the pages nearest to this one.
| Option | Choose it when | Pace |
|---|---|---|
| EFT online couples therapy alone (this page) | You want EFT, and only you will take part. | An hour every week or two |
| EFT online couples therapy | Your partner is willing to join. | A series of 2-hour sessions |
| Online couples therapy alone | You want broader help with the relationship on your own. | 1-hour sessions |
| Acute online couples therapy alone | Something has just happened. | A first session as soon as I can offer one |
It is EFT, emotion-focused couples therapy, with one partner, by video and in English. It helps you understand your part in the relationship loop and respond in a new way, for people anywhere in the world.
Yes. A relationship is a system. When one person changes their steps, the other has to respond to something new. It does not guarantee your partner will change, but it often moves things.
No. In EFT the loop is the problem, not either person. We look at your part honestly and with kindness.
Then you will know more clearly what you want and what you can live with. That clarity is valuable whatever you decide.
That is your choice. Many people tell their partner they are working on themselves, without making it a demand. We can think about it together.
Yes, as a rule. Sit somewhere you cannot be heard, with headphones if that helps, and the emotional work goes just as deep as it would face to face.
Some people feel a shift after five or six sessions. A loop that has run for decades needs longer. We check in on progress every few weeks.
EFT alone can still help you understand what is happening before you decide. If the decision is made, online divorce therapy or support alone may fit better.
Each EFT session on your own lasts an hour on screen. Fees in US dollars are kept up to date on my prices page. Paying ahead with a therapy bundle takes 10 per cent off.
Choose an hour in the booking calendar, where every slot appears in your local time. Prefer to talk it over? Request a free 30-minute call. No slot that works? Drop me a line.
You can also send me an email
I want therapy to help you understand your experience and make choices you can use in everyday life. We pay attention to feelings, needs and the responses that happen before you have time to think.
Our online room should offer enough trust and honesty to explore what is difficult. I bring attention and professional judgement. You bring your experience, questions and the right to say when something does not fit.
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P.S. I’ll call you in a bit!
