In this short video, I describe how two people can begin to talk about an affair on screen without tearing each other apart.
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Online couples therapy after infidelity is for two partners, anywhere in the world, who want to work through an affair together. We meet by video, in English, in 2-hour sessions at a time that suits your time zone.
We set ground rules so the affair can be discussed safely, help the hurt partner get honest answers, help the partner who strayed stay present and look at what left the relationship exposed. Then you decide, together, what you build next. It is a branch of online couples therapy. If your partner will not take part, online infidelity therapy alone lets you start by yourself.
You can ask for a free 30-minute call, book a session, read my client policy or write to me.
Online couples therapy after infidelity is for two partners, wherever you live, who want to work through an affair together.
Check these alternatives before you book.
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These reviews describe clients’ experiences of working with me. They come from my wider practice and do not all relate to online sessions. Each person’s experience is their own, and a review does not promise a particular outcome.
“Over more than 15,000 clinical hours, I have sat with many couples in the weeks after an affair came out. The hurt partner often asks ‘Was any of it real?’. The partner who strayed often asks ‘Will I be punished for ever?’. Both questions deserve an answer. Couples who get through it rarely do so by forgetting. They do it by understanding what happened, and by choosing each other again with their eyes open.”
Mark Colclough, MA, psychotherapist and EFT couples therapist
I am Mark Colclough, MA. I have practised since 2004 and offer online psychotherapy and couples therapy in English.
My training brings together your emotions, your thoughts and your relationships. My deep passion is the moment when what happens between you finally makes sense, to each of you and to each other. I have lived and worked in nine countries, so I know something of life across languages, cultures and borders.
Read about my background, or explore online psychotherapy and online couples therapy.
I meet regularly with experienced psychotherapists to reflect on my work, question my understanding and develop my skills. Supervision is part of the professional care I bring to individual and couples work, including online sessions.
My focus is thoughtful practice, integrity and responsibility.
You are welcome to ask about the kind of support you need.
Tell me where you are based and your time zone. We can then consider whether online sessions together are suitable.
Sophie and Lucas have been together for twelve years and live in Lisbon. Sophie found out about Lucas’s eight-month affair with a colleague. Since then every evening ends with her questions and his silence, and both of them are exhausted.
In our online sessions, we agree when the affair will be discussed and how either of them can pause. Lucas learns to answer Sophie’s questions without defending himself. Sophie begins to feel that he understands what he did. After some months, they talk about what was missing between them long before the affair.
I have presented this clinical example as a compound of 22 years of clinical practice.
After an affair, the relationship you had is over. Whether a new one can grow is what we find out together.
Many couples decide to try again after an affair, and many of them make it. It rarely happens by itself. The hurt partner needs answers and repair. The partner who strayed needs a way to take responsibility without being crushed by it.
Online couples therapy after infidelity gives both of you a structure for that, so you are not making it up in the middle of the night.
Every attempt to talk about it explodes, or one of you goes silent for days. You end up more hurt than before.
We agree how and when the affair is discussed, so it no longer leaks into every other evening.
One of you needs to know everything: when, where, how often, why. The other wants to stop talking about it and move on.
Both needs make sense. I help you find a pace of questions and answers that heals rather than reopens the wound each night.
You may both want to stay, but feel lost. Where do you begin when everything feels broken?
We begin with safety and honesty, then move step by step towards understanding and repair.
A late message, an extra hour at work or a locked phone can now feel like a threat.
We work on what the hurt partner needs to feel safe again, and what the other can offer, without it turning into constant surveillance.
Physical closeness may have become confusing, painful or stopped completely. Some couples are surprised to find desire rising for a while instead.
Both are common. We talk about it openly, at a pace you can both bear.
You may not know yet whether staying together is right. That is allowed.
We can work on the question honestly, so whatever you decide, you decide it together and with clear eyes.
If this sounds like the two of you, request a call or book a session, and we will begin with what feels most pressing.
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Tell me briefly what kind of support you are looking for.
Include your country and time zone so we can discuss whether online work together is possible and find a suitable time.
You do not need to explain your whole story in your first message.
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Understanding why it happened matters. So does what both of you do, week after week, from now on.
Online couples therapy after infidelity moves through stages. First, we make it safe to talk. Then we face what happened and its impact. Then we look at the relationship before the affair. Finally, you decide whether and how to rebuild.
We agree on rules first: when the affair is discussed, for how long and how either of you can call a pause. The sessions become the main place for the hardest talks.
Yes. Some questions help the hurt partner make sense of things; others only feed the images. We sort out which is which, and answer the helpful ones honestly.
Yes, with support. I help the partner who strayed listen to the pain without collapsing into shame or defending, which is often what makes repair possible.
Usually, yes. An affair is always a choice, and it is never only about the relationship. Yet looking at the years before often explains why the gap opened.
Trust comes back through small, repeated actions: openness, keeping promises, answering questions without impatience. We agree what those actions will be.
For most couples it means a relationship that is honest in a new way, where both people know what they need and how to ask for it.
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You do not need to be calm before we meet. We start where you are.
In our first sessions I meet you both, hear what has happened and how each of you is coping, and help you agree on how we will work. If another kind of help would suit you better, I will tell you.
You both join for two hours by video. I ask what happened, how each of you is doing and what you hope for. Before we finish, we agree the ground rules and the next step.
I ask for honesty about the facts that matter to the hurt partner. Full disclosure of every detail is not always helpful, and we decide together what is.
Sometimes, with both of you knowing. A separate session can help one partner say something hard, or steady themselves, before bringing it back to the joint work.
In online couples therapy after infidelity, couples usually meet every one to two weeks at first, then less often as things settle.
Online couples therapy after infidelity usually takes a series of sessions, so a bundle often fits. You can see the options in the bundle cards further down.
The affair stops taking over every day, you can talk about it without exploding and trust grows in small ways. Then we decide together what comes next.
Weighing your options? These are the closest pages.
| Option | Choose it when | Pace |
|---|---|---|
| Online couples therapy after infidelity (this page) | You both want to work through an affair together. | 2-hour sessions, every one to two weeks at first |
| Online infidelity therapy alone | You want to work on it alone. | 1-hour sessions |
| Infidelity couples therapy, living abroad | You live abroad and that adds to the strain. | 2-hour sessions |
| Online divorce therapy | The decision to part is made. | 2-hour sessions every two to three weeks |
It is couples therapy for partners who want to work through an affair together, by video and in English, for couples anywhere in the world. It helps you talk about what happened safely, rebuild trust if you choose to and decide your future together.
As soon as you both can sit in a session together. Getting help early often prevents weeks of damaging late-night arguments.
We need to talk about that honestly first. Repair is very hard while the affair continues, and I will be clear with you both about what the work can and cannot do.
No. I do not keep secrets for one partner that affect the other. I explain how I handle this in the first session.
That is common. We can explore what each of you wants, and if you separate, online divorce therapy can help you do it well.
For most couples, yes. You join from a private room, on one screen together or from two places. Many find it easier to say hard things from home. Meeting in person in Copenhagen is also possible. Just ask.
No. I take the hurt seriously and I hold the partner who strayed accountable. Blame on its own does not heal anything, so I help you both understand what happened.
Often many months, sometimes longer. The first weeks are usually the hardest. We review progress regularly.
Sessions are 2-hour online couples sessions. You can see current fees, in US dollars, on my prices page, and a therapy bundle saves you 10 per cent.
Book a session directly, or ask for a free 30-minute call first. The calendar shows times in your own time zone. If none of them suit you, write to me.
You can also send me an email
I want therapy to help you understand your experience and make choices you can use in everyday life. We pay attention to feelings, needs and the responses that happen before you have time to think.
Our online room should offer enough trust and honesty to explore what is difficult. I bring attention and professional judgement. You bring your experience, questions and the right to say when something does not fit.
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P.S. I’ll call you in a bit!
