Acute online AuDHD couples therapy alone

Individual help by video when AuDHD is part of a relationship that has just fallen apart

We find a rhythm that steadies you, so you can face the relationship with a clearer mind

Starting on your own? Watch this first

In this short video, I show how I work individually with someone whose AuDHD relationship has just fallen apart, and how each session balances a steady frame with room to move.

Video introduction by psychotherapist Mark Colclough, MA

At a glance

Acute online AuDHD couples therapy alone is individual support for one person in any country when AuDHD, in you, your partner or both, is part of a relationship that has suddenly broken down, and your partner is not taking part. We meet by video, often within days, in 1-hour sessions set to your local time.

Our first job is a rhythm that steadies you. Once your days hold again, we look at what has happened and what you want, at a pace that suits both the autistic and the ADHD side of you. It is the one-person version of acute online AuDHD couples therapy.

Ready? Book a session, ask for a free 30-minute call or message me. The client policy explains the terms.

Is this the right page for you?

This is for you if…

Acute online AuDHD couples therapy alone suits one person, anywhere, when AuDHD shapes you, your partner or both, the relationship has just fallen apart and you are seeking help by yourself.

  • You are AuDHD and blaming yourself for everything that went wrong.
  • Your AuDHD partner is unreachable, and you do not know what that means.
  • You swing between racing thoughts and shutting down completely.
  • You did something on impulse in the crisis and now deeply regret it.
  • Meals, sleep and work routines have fallen apart along with the relationship.
  • Advice for autism alone, or ADHD alone, has not fitted you.
  • You want firm anchors and room to move in the same session.
  • Video sessions from home, at a time that suits your part of the world, feel right.

This is probably not for you if…

A neighbouring page may fit you more closely:

What clients say

These reviews describe clients’ experiences of working with me. They come from my wider practice and do not all relate to online sessions. Each person’s experience is their own, and a review does not promise a particular outcome.

Mark’s view

“In my experience, AuDHD people who come alone after a relationship breaks are working twice as hard as anyone can see. One part of you wants to analyse every detail until it makes sense. Another part wants to act, now, to make the pain stop. When both run at full speed, exhaustion follows quickly. I do not ask you to quiet either part. I help you give each one a place, so that neither is in charge, and you can make your next decision from somewhere calmer.”

Mark Colclough, MA, psychotherapist and EFT couples therapist

Meet Mark, psychotherapist and couples therapist

I am Mark Colclough, MA. I have practised since 2004 and offer online psychotherapy and couples therapy in English.

My training brings together your emotions, your thoughts and your relationships. My deep passion is the moment when what happens between you finally makes sense, to each of you and to each other. I have lived and worked in nine countries, so I know something of life across languages, cultures and borders.

Read about my background, or explore online psychotherapy and online couples therapy.

Psychotherapist Mark Colclough, MA

Supervision supports the quality of my work

Therapy needs reflection and accountability

I meet regularly with experienced psychotherapists to reflect on my work, question my understanding and develop my skills. Supervision is part of the professional care I bring to individual and couples work, including online sessions.

My focus is thoughtful practice, integrity and responsibility.

Let’s discuss online therapy

You are welcome to ask about the kind of support you need.

Tell me where you are based and your time zone. We can then consider whether online sessions together are suitable.

You can also send me an email

A typical situation

Leila is AuDHD and lives in Amsterdam. Her partner Ruben ends their relationship after a heated week, saying he needs space. Within two days Leila has rearranged the whole flat at midnight, stopped eating at regular times and written a twelve-page letter she is about to send.

In our first online session we leave the letter unsent. We set four anchors for her days and a fifteen-minute writing slot each evening for everything she wants to tell Ruben. A week later she sends him five calm sentences. He replies, kindly, and asks for two more weeks. Leila can live with that.

I have presented this clinical example as a compound of 22 years of clinical practice.

When acute online AuDHD couples therapy alone suits you

The relationship has come apart, and your inner world is running at full volume.

Perhaps your partner has gone quiet, moved out or said they need distance. Perhaps they are not ready for therapy. You are the one looking, and that already counts for something.

People who are AuDHD often need two things at once in a crisis: firm anchors and room to move. Our sessions offer both.

Are you AuDHD and blaming yourself for everything that broke?

If you are AuDHD, it is easy to read the breakdown as proof that you are too much, or not enough. That story is loud, and it is rarely accurate.

We look at what actually happened, piece by piece, including what was not yours to carry.

Is your AuDHD partner unreachable right now?

If your partner is AuDHD and has withdrawn, you may not know whether they are overloaded, angry or gone.

We look at the signs and decide together how, and whether, to reach out.

Are you stuck between racing thoughts and total shutdown?

Some hours your thoughts race faster than you can follow. Other hours, nothing moves at all.

We find small anchors that work in both states.

Did you act on impulse and now regret it deeply?

In the heat of the crisis you may have said, sent or done something you now wish you had not.

We look at what can be repaired, what can be explained and what you can learn from it.

Have your routines collapsed along with the relationship?

When a relationship breaks, the routines that held you up often break with it: meals, sleep, work.

We rebuild a few, simply, before we tackle anything bigger.

Do you need help that fits both halves of how you work?

Strategies for autism alone can feel rigid. Strategies for ADHD alone can feel chaotic.

We combine them in a way that fits how you work, and change them when they stop fitting.

If this is you, book, request a call or write. Any of the three works.

Contact me

Ask about online therapy

Tell me briefly what kind of support you are looking for.

Include your country and time zone so we can discuss whether online work together is possible and find a suitable time.

You do not need to explain your whole story in your first message.

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Send a message

What acute online AuDHD couples therapy alone helps you do

Steady rhythm first. Clear picture next. Choices after that.

Acute online AuDHD couples therapy alone follows those steps. We rebuild a rhythm that holds, look at the pattern between you and your partner, and then consider the options in front of you.

How do we rebuild a rhythm that holds?

We set three or four daily anchors, such as a set wake-up time, a walk or a meal, and leave the rest of the day flexible. Fixed points, free space.

Can you slow the spin without forcing yourself to stop?

Yes. Rather than fighting the racing thoughts, we give them somewhere to go: a notes list, a timed thinking slot, a walk. The spin slows when it is not pushed against.

How do you write to your partner without regret afterwards?

We draft messages together and let them rest overnight before you send them. Short, clear and honest usually lands best.

Where does your responsibility start and end?

You are responsible for your own words, actions and limits. You are not responsible for your partner’s nervous system, their choices or their silence.

How do you know what you want when it changes by the hour?

When your wishes shift by the hour, we write them down over several days and look for the thread that keeps coming back.

What follows once you are steadier?

Some people continue with online AuDHD couples therapy alone at a calmer pace. Others later bring their partner into joint sessions, or prepare for a separation. Each path is chosen, not drifted into.

How acute online AuDHD couples therapy alone begins

Bring yourself as you are today. That is enough to begin.

The first sessions cover what has happened, how you are holding up and the anchors you need this week.

If another kind of help would suit you better, I will tell you.

What happens in my first session of acute online AuDHD couples therapy alone?

It is one hour by video. We open with the plan for the hour, keep a clear thread and close with a short written recap you can look back at.

Can you work with both my need for structure and my need to move?

Yes. The frame stays clear, while inside it you can move, pace, type or take a breather. We adjust as we learn what helps.

How quickly can we start?

Usually within days, depending on my calendar. Take the earliest open slot or send me a short note.

What does a session look like?

Each session has an opening plan, the main work and a recap. Early on we meet more often, later less.

Is a bundle useful for me?

A crisis like this often needs several sessions within a few weeks. A bundle fixes those dates ahead of time and reduces what each one costs. See the cards below.

How will I notice the worst is over?

Your anchors hold most days, the inner noise has dropped and you can think about the relationship without being swept away. Then we look further ahead.

How it works with me

  1. Book a session, request a free 30-minute call or message me first.
  2. The first video hour opens with a plan, covers what happened and sets anchors for the coming week.
  3. Early on, sessions are close together, each with a written recap.
  4. As your footing returns, we decide together whether to continue alone, invite your partner or prepare to part.
  5. If you expect several sessions, a therapy bundle saves you 10 per cent and gives you a clear plan from the start. You can see the bundles just below.

Agree the cost before you begin

Clear arrangements for online sessions

Compare with nearby options

How this page compares with nearby ones:

OptionChoose it whenPace
Acute online AuDHD couples therapy alone (this page)AuDHD is part of a breakdown you face by yourself.Frequent 1-hour sessions
Acute online AuDHD couples therapyYour partner is ready to take part.2-hour sessions with flexible breaks
Online AuDHD couples therapy aloneTough, but nothing has just broken.1 hour every few weeks
Acute online couples therapy aloneNeurodivergence plays no real role.Frequent 1-hour sessions

Frequently asked questions

What is acute online AuDHD couples therapy alone?

It is individual, structured support by video for one person, when AuDHD is part of a relationship that has just broken down and the partner is not joining. We steady you, make sense of events and plan your next step. Offered in English, worldwide.

I am AuDHD myself. Is this for me?

Yes. Many AuDHD people come alone after a relationship crisis, often carrying far more self-blame than the facts justify.

My partner is AuDHD and I am not. Can I still come?

Yes. Partners of AuDHD people come to understand what is happening and to get support of their own.

Do I need a formal diagnosis?

No. Recognising it in yourself, or waiting for an assessment, is enough.

Will you tell me what my partner is thinking?

No one can know that for sure. I can help you understand how AuDHD might shape your partner’s reactions, so you can respond with more care and less guesswork.

Could my partner join later?

Yes. When they are ready, joint acute online AuDHD couples therapy or calmer online AuDHD couples therapy can follow.

Is it all right if I cannot sit still on camera?

Completely. Move, stand, stretch, look away. What matters is that you can think, not that you sit still.

How many sessions might this take?

It depends on you. Some people find their footing quickly, others want close support for longer. We agree it step by step.

What does acute online AuDHD couples therapy alone cost?

Each solo session lasts one hour, online. See the prices page for fees in US dollars, and a bundle for 10 per cent off.

How do I start?

Use the online calendar, ask for a free 30-minute call or simply write to me.

How I approach our work

What matters to me

I want therapy to help you understand your experience and make choices you can use in everyday life. We pay attention to feelings, needs and the responses that happen before you have time to think.

The space we create

Our online room should offer enough trust and honesty to explore what is difficult. I bring attention and professional judgement. You bring your experience, questions and the right to say when something does not fit.

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